AITAH for not picking up our house guest food tab after they ordered the most expensive items?

A Reddit user shares an awkward dinner experience with their wife’s brother and his family during a holiday visit. The plan was to order fajitas to share, but the guests requested pricier individual meals like salmon, shrimp, and steak instead. Faced with a soaring bill, the user refused to cover the expensive items and only paid for the appetizers and beer they had initially planned. Now, tension has arisen, with the wife upset and the brother-in-law likely feeling slighted.

‘ AITAH for not picking up our house guest food tab after they ordered the most expensive items?’

My wife’s brother and his family came to visit a little early Christmas. The plan was to order a few things of fajitas and have a family table kind of setup. But after telling our plan each of the brothers 4 member family each said they would rather have something else. The something else included salmon, shrimp, and steak the most expensive items on the menu. The youngest wanted chicken fingers and fries so not that bad.

I told my wife there is no way we could cover that and I was more than happy to pick up the cheese dip and the beer her brother and I would drink while we waited. She was a bit up set with me reminding me they picked our food up last time we visited. I reminded her that in no way did we order close to as much as they did that we even shared our meal at that time.

When the brother in-law and I payed the bill there was an awkward pause for a moment when asked if it was together. I broke the silence “yes, but I’ll take the beer and large cheese dips.”.

More info: Hey thank you for all the responses you all are making a lot of good points. I fell I needed to give a little more info and a bit of back ground. It is well known that when this family (primarily the husband and son) are treated to a meal they go for the most expensive items. I have seen them order their own food they are covering and they are much more restrained.

We did tell them the plan was “we are going to order us all fajitas and myself was planning on ordering at the restaurant to have a beer also and brother in-law and son are welcomed to join.” That was stated before they arrived to them. It wasn’t until it was time for me to leave that they began wanting to change the order.

See what others had to share with OP:

Woodmom-2262 −  I was taught to never order a dinner more expensive than the host’s. Your BIL is a j**k. NTA.

Amazing-Wave4704 −  When you are staying at someone’s house for free, YOU pick up the tab if you all go out. EVERY time. If you can’t afford to do it, you at least pay for your own, not try to stick your host with the most expensive items to eat and drink. NTA.

Fragrant-Customer913 −  I feel like you made a plan that you could afford. You told them the plan. The only thing that could have been clearer is if you said, I’m happy to cover the cost of the fajitas but anything extra goes on a separate tab.

trolleydip −  Everyone has their own budget. Communicate. There is no obligation to reciprocate.

leesylooloo −  My ex-BIL used to do this every. Single. Time. If I ever bought my sis and her ex dinner I never told them until the end of meal. That way I wasn’t paying for his surf and turf , apps, top shelf drinks because that’s what he always ordered when he thought the tab was on someone else. Then he’d order his toddlers full meals.

When he thought he was paying he’d order next to cheapest thing on the menu. And the littles meals were economized. That’s when I’d offer to pick up their tab. Not because I was stingy and cheap, but because he was the biggest glutton when he believe the money wasn’t coming out of his pocket. So thankful that dude is no longer married to my sister.

offbrandbarbie −  Soft YTA for telling your wife you won’t be picking up their tab if they get all that expensive stuff instead of telling them. Then that’s awkward moment at the end would have been avoided.

BrilliantEmphasis862 −  NTA – I’ve run into people like this who are conservative with their money but when someone else is buying that is a signal to buy the most expensive item on the menu.

pouldycheed −  Both of you guys could’ve communicated this clearly and DIRECTLY. When it comes to situations like this, it’s better to state the expectations before ordering food so there are no awkward and damaging situations like this. 

Vegetable-Cod-2340 −  I’m leaning towards NTA because it sounds like Op and his family ordered food based on their budget not expecting BIL to cover their bill. Whereas I think BIL did the opposite, maybe not even caring about a budget because they assumed their food would be covered. Also I think Op kind of made it clear they were willing to cover the original fajita meal they were ordering, but you can’t just assume they can cover changes that Bil made.

bronwynbloomington −  Tell them your menu plans. If they want something else, tell them they can order wherever else they want, give them directions to the restaurant. Do take a head count of whoever wants fajitas. Tell your other guests if they want steak, shrimp etc. to get together with the brother who put that idea out, and figure out their order. Tell brother you will all meet up back at your house after everyone gets their order. (And remind everyone you will be buying the fajitas.