AITAH For Losing It On My Wife After She Told My Son to “Get Out of the Picture” at My Stepdaughter’s Birthday?

A Reddit user shared a deeply emotional story about a recent incident at his stepdaughter’s birthday party. After asking his 10-year-old son to join the group photo, his wife told him to step aside so she could take a picture with just her biological children.

This action left the Redditor feeling heartbroken, as he feels his son is being treated differently from the rest of the family. Concerned about the long-term emotional impact on his son, the user is questioning whether his expectations for his wife to treat his son as her own are too much. Read the full story below…

‘ AITAH For Losing It On My Wife After She Told My Son to “Get Out of the Picture” at My Stepdaughter’s Birthday?’

I’m really struggling here and starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I think I’m being gaslit, so what better place to get some clarity than Reddit? Here’s the situation. I’ve been married to my wife for 8 years, and on the whole, we have a good relationship. She has four kids (two daughters, two sons, ages 11-16) from a previous relationship, and I have one son, who’s 10.

Since day one, I’ve treated her kids as my own and done my best to support the family. Financially, it’s a big load, but I’m happy to do it. We live together in a five-bedroom house, where each of her daughters has their own room, her oldest son has his own, and her youngest son shares a room with my son.

The main issue—and what’s tearing me apart—is how she treats my son. She barely acknowledges him, rarely asks how he’s doing, and generally acts like he’s invisible. Tonight, it hit a breaking point. We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures. I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine. But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, *“Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.”*

I felt like my heart shattered in that moment. I completely lost it. I told her that we’re supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own. I feel like she’s drawing lines between “her” kids and “my” son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.

For context, my son’s biological mom passed away two years ago, supposedly from Covid complications, though she had a history of d**g problems that may have worsened things. My son only has my wife now as a mother figure. I’m terrified that this r**ection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage.

Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family? I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness. AITA for expecting her to step up and include him?

See what others had to share with OP:

classabella −  I would hate to know how she treats him when you are not around!

ComprehensivePut5569 −  If she hasn’t stepped up in 8 years, she never will. YTA for subjecting your son to your horrible wife for way too long.

oy-cunt- −  YTA because you know this isn’t the first time she’s treated him like this. She’s known him since he was 2 years old? She’s a horrible human.. Do what’s best for your son. You’re not overreacting, you are not reacting enough.

Just_Wondering_4871 −  You need to remove yourself and your son from this toxic environment. I cannot imagine the hurt he has endured and the damage she’s already done to him.

YourMysticVixen −  If this is real, YTA for allowing it to continue – downright ignoring him, you say? – until this point.

island_lord830 −  YTA OP. A father who stands by while his wife abuses his son is an a**sive father. Your abuse takes the form of n**lect. If you were a good man and good father you’d divorce that b**ch and take care of your son.
And if you think I’m being extreme ask yourself this. What would your late wife say if she saw how you were letting this woman treat your son. The greatest gift she ever gave you. And you let this new woman do this to him?

Remarkable_Buyer4625 −  YTA – Your son has already been hurt (and I’m sure has/will have psych issues) from the r**ection by your wife. Don’t fool yourself. You’re supposed to protect him! You’re failing as a father right now, so get it together. This isn’t something you can change by just asking your wife to include him. You should have never married someone who did not love your son in the first place. Your son comes first. Even before your wife.

JennieGee −  YTA For allowing your child to be abused in his own home and family. When do you EVER plan on putting YOUR child first? Get your child some therapy and DIVORCE the sorry excuse for a mother. The poor child, who has had to grow up thinking he’s not a real member of his OWN family. 8 years!. You need to do better for him!

Friendly-Client6242 −  YTA for allowing her to push him to the side while you’re simultaneously making space for her biological children. He’s getting squeezed out by everyone and getting crumbs of your attention.
You’re currently building a relationship of resentment with your son. He will grow to resent you for: 1. Marrying someone who doesn’t accept him as her child.

2. Staying with this woman for years knowing she’s borderline neglectful *that you know of*.
3. Making him split the time he has with his one living parent with 4 other kids, and an adult who doesn’t give a single s**t about him.

If you continue to allow this behavior toward him, you’re going to be coming back to Reddit in 8 years asking g why your son is NC. YTA for not losing it on her sooner. She doesn’t see him as hers, and never will. She’s helped raise him since he was a toddler and still draws the line between him and her bio kids. If you can live with that, you deserve the NC you’ll receive in 8 years. Family therapy or divorce if you want to show your son he matters.

Bigstachedad −  So basically, your wife has been treating your son like an unwanted boarder since he was two and until now you’ve been okay with this? She barely acknowledges him? Wow, you should have said/done something about this many years ago. Your son’s been through a lot, new mother figure (failure), with four golden children, then his bio mother dies. You are also at fault here, you’ve treated her children as your own and your boy is barely an afterthought to her. She’s a monster and YTA to your son.