AITAH for just saying “ok” to my little bros declining of my destination wedding?

A groom planning a destination wedding in Jamaica receives criticism from his frugal brother, Jake, for choosing an expensive location far from home. When Jake declines the invite, the groom responds with a simple “ok” and doesn’t try to convince him or offer financial help, as he prefers a small wedding.

Jake’s wife criticizes the groom for not making more of an effort to include his brother, but the groom feels the location is meaningful and prioritizes what he and his fiancée want. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for just saying “ok” to my little bros declining of my destination wedding?’

Im currently planning on wedding. My fiancee’s family is from Jamaica, she still has family there so we will be getting married there. Its going to be at an all inclusive resort that I am excited for and aware not everyone can afford. We’ve invited about 40 people from our country, most of who have already RSVPed yes.

My little brother Ill call Jake makes decent money but is very frugal. He thinks its ridiculous that were getting married there when both of us are from here. I admit its about half because her family and half because it just sounds really fun. I know not everyone will be able to afford it and Im totally cool if people cant make the trip or dont want to spend for it.

I want a small wedding anyway. Jake told me yesterday he’s not going because he doesnt want to pay for the flight and hotel and all that. I understood and just said “ok”. He then was asking “so thats it, you dont care if your only brother wont go, you still wont just have a wedding where you guys are from”.

and I was just like “yeah thats fine, ill send pics”. To me that was that, but now his wife, my SIL is on my case about its saying I should have tried to convince him or helped pay for it. I technically could afford to but its just not a huge priority to have as many people there as possible.. ​

To answer a common Q, My fiancee is from the US and about 80% of her family lives in the States. One of her grandmas still lives in Jamaica and she has some other extended family there too. Were not going because its closer to more family. We just loved Jamaica.

She loves her heritage and we try to go a few times a year because we love the place. Its the ideal place to get married for us.

See what others had to share with OP:

Electronic_Fox_6383 −  Omg, haha, he was totally hoping you’d foot the bill for his trip. Just send pics as promised and don’t give it another thought. Have a great time in Jamaica! Congratulations!. NTA

Frosty_Reward_5301 −  NTA you invited. He doesn’t want to spend the money. It’s not your obligation to pay for his trip. Your not upset he won’t come. You have done nothing wrong. You where very nice in how you handled it. He does not get to pressure you into having a wedding where he wants. It’s not his day. And honestly the wedding will go on with him. Or without him.

UniverseBear −  NTA, I mean ask him if he’d rather her Jamaican family who likely makes a fraction of what he makes should be the ones paying to fly to where you guys live.

jojozabadu −  my SIL is on my case about its saying I should have tried to convince him or helped pay for it. Your bro and SIL sound made for each other. She’s not only cheap but feels e**itled to your money.

Double-Economist7562 −  NTA – You do what makes you happy, it is your wedding. You handled it great by not demanding that they be there and giving them the option to attend

Agoraphobe961 −  NTA. It sounds like your SIL is trying to b**ly you into paying for them. Your “frugal” brother would be fine with a destination wedding if he didn’t have to pay.

Spectre-907 −  Why does every wedding type story on here feature people who ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED trying to dictate specifics of the ceremony to the ones who are?

SockMaster9273 −  NTA . If we wanted to be there, he would have said, “I’ll be there” or “I’m sorry i can’t make it. I’m having trouble with it financially”. He is clearly trying to guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do.

The SIL confuses me. If she wants to go, why can’t she try and convince her husband to go? That is not on you. You are the least AH person in this story. I hope you have a lovely wedding and a long, happy marriage.

colmcmittens −  NTA. He’s being a m**ipulative d**che who is trying to guilt you into changing your wedding venue b/c he’s too much of a cheap ass to pay for the flight or hotel.

bubble_tea_and_sushi −  NTA. It’s your brother’s choice to attend your wedding or not. No one is forcing him either way. His wife is a cow for getting on your case about it – I bet she wants to go to your destination wedding and wants you to help them cover the cost. F**k that.

Was the groom too indifferent, or is he right to stick with his dream wedding? Share your thoughts below!