AITAH for going on a trip without my girlfriend since she forgot her passport?

A man (25M) planned an international trip to Japan with his girlfriend (23F), but she forgot her passport and couldn’t board the international flight. He decided to go on the trip without her, suggesting she stay with a mutual friend in the meantime. While he felt it was a reasonable choice, his girlfriend and their friend believe he abandoned her. Is he in the wrong for continuing the trip? Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for going on a trip without my girlfriend since she forgot her passport?’

My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) planned a week-long trip overseas in Japan during this winter. I reminded her the day before we left a few days ago to remember to pack her passport and she said she would. Anyway, the first airport we left from (the airport in our home town) was domestic meaning it only served flights in our country, the United States,

so we both just showed our state IDs for that and flew through just fine. When we were checking in for the second flight though, the international one, (we booked tickets for the two flights separately for some reason) they asked to see her passport. She said she didn’t have it and told me she realized midway during the first flight that she forgot to pack it.

Since we were far away from our home she couldn’t just go home quickly to grab her passport. We were both obviously upset but I checked in anyway and told her that I’ll still go without her. She got upset and asked me why I’d abandon her over a simple mistake and I told her that I wasn’t going to miss out on a trip just because she planned poorly.

I told her that since we had a mutual friend (24M) who lived in the city we were in currently and she could ask him if she could stay with him and explore for a week, and then I’d catch her when flying back and we’d go home. She agreed but was still upset because she wanted to spend New Years’ with me.

A few hours ago I FaceTimed her and we talked for a bit and our friend joined in the call and said he was shocked I’d abandon her like that and that he was disappointed in me. My girlfriend agreed with him. Am I really a bad boyfriend for still going on this trip? Like, if I chose to not go anyway it wouldn’t even be benefiting her at all really, it would only be hurting me. AITAH for this?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

theglossiernerd −  Why can’t she fly home, get the passport, and meet you in Japan? ETA: I’m in a position where this would just be an expensive mistake but everyone saying that she could just have her passport FedEx’d overnight to her and rebook the Japan flight from the city she’s already in makes much more sense, my bad.

Still think the gf should just take the L and meet him in Japan though, if this is a legit post. They can always extend their trip by a few days.

kam49ers4ever −  I would have gone, too. This is 100% her fault. That being said, if it was truly just a matter of forgetting it, and she knew during the first flight, why the hell didn’t she say something to you right then? And is there no one at home that you have entrusted to have a key in case of emergency?

Because fed ex same day express is still a thing, and she could have made arrangements for a flight the next day. A couple hundred dollars to salvage a few thousand dollars of a vacation would be worth it to me. The airlines are actually pretty good about this stuff. I was at LAX flying to mazatlan, Mexico.

There was a family group on the same plane, but, oops. part of their group was a mom and child. She had their passports but not a notarized letter from the father (laws to prevent parental kidnapping). The airline booked her and child on the same flight the next day and the rest of them boarded the plane. (I was in line right behind them).

Professional_Pop8867 −  I mean if I was her I would be annoyed you went, but also like… I’d be annoyed at myself. If I was her and really thought about it, I wouldn’t want my partner to miss an international trip bc of my mistake. NTA

Squeezinthejuice69 −  Who leaves the house on a international trip and doesnt check to see if they got your passport on the way out. Phone keys wallet passport lets go

writing_mm_romance −  Theres totally going to be an update that OP came back to GF and Friend having hooked up. Also, I don’t really buy the story.

Lavish_Nimue −  NTA. It sounds like an expensive trip and that not much would be gained by you missing it too. It was all her fault, obviously.

Ambroisie_Cy −  I don’t understand this kind of situation. My brain can’t just comprehend how one would forget their passport… Maybe I’m too much of an anxious person, but this is the kind of thing I double/triple check before leaving home. This, my phone and my wallet.

I really don’t understand how she managed to forget it? NTA. You reminded her not once, but twice. She still forgot, when she should have put the passport right into her bag the first time you reminded her. What was she expecting from you?

To miss on a beautiful trip because she can’t take care of a simple task? Would she have reimbrused you? For next time, being this forgetfull means she should organises herself better and make a checklist before leaving the house. It helps a lot with the mental load as well.

Retot −  Honestly I dont think the relationship will survive this

Ok_Homework_7621 −  NTA. She shouldn’t even need a reminder, but even with that she forgot the one thing she absolutely can’t travel without? And then had the nerve to get mad? Lol, I’d be out of there so fast.

mellow-drama −  NTA. This is what I would call a relationship-defining event. If someone is so careless as to leave their passport behind on a multi-leg international trip, short of mental incompetency, then it’s their fault and their responsibility and they need to bear the consequences. If they turned around and got mad at me for taking the trip as planned, I’d be seriously rethinking the relationship.

I want to date adults, people who will take accountability when they s**ew up, not hold me back and make me suffer with them for their mistakes. Obviously it’s a bummer and apparently there was no chance of having the passport overnighted and the flight rebooked, for whatever reason.

In that case there is no way I would miss out on a paid for, long-booker trip to anywhere, particularly Japan which I absolutely love. Your girlfriend’s perspective is incredibly selfish. Can she feel sad, bummed, and frustrated? Sure, but she shouldn’t take those feelings out on you or expect you to give up the trip because SHE made a thoughtless mistake.

Literally the ONLY two things you need when traveling are your passport and your wallet, everything else is optional/can be figured out on arrival.* It’s fundamental to air travel that you carry proper documents. Someone who can’t manage to do that on such an important occasion, and then throws a fit because you go anyway, is not worth sticking around for.

*As a fat person who has been to Japan I’m aware that’s not 100 % true but honest to god I would have worn hotel sheets with holes cut in them if my luggage had gotten lost, rather than go back to the US and lose my time visiting there. I’m sure you can do a lot of stylish things with belts and the right jewelry.

Was he justified in continuing the trip, or should he have stayed to support his girlfriend? What would you have done in his place? Share your thoughts in the comments!