AITAH for getting people to order extra on my MIL tab?

A Reddit user recounts a clever moment from 19 years ago when they turned the tables on their MIL during a stressful family visit. While hosting a large group on a tight budget, the MIL insisted everyone go to a pricey breakfast spot. Seeing relatives struggling with the high menu prices, the user loudly announced their gratitude for MIL treating everyone.

This public acknowledgment left the MIL unable to back out, resulting in a lavish breakfast for everyone on her dime. While the user’s husband was furious afterward, they finally felt some relief from the tension of the visit. Read the full story below to decide whether this clever move was justified or out of line.

‘ AITAH for getting people to order extra on my MIL tab?’

Context-this happened 19 years ago but I felt like it was still relevant. At 25 years old, my husband’s mother and her husband, her brother, his wife and two of their kids came to stay with us in California where we were stationed. As a young family, with a newborn and on an E5’s salary, we were not rich by any means. We were using WIC even to supplement food.

We offered our tiny home for everyone to stay. Still blacked out because I don’t remember how they all fit. It was massively stressful on me is all I remember. My ex was the kind of guy that just socialized while I did all the hosting and cleaning.
After a couple of days of trying to keep on top of the disarray, MIL announces that we should all go to this fancy breakfast place in Monterey. I was trying to get out of it because I was so tired and stressed and thought the hour alone would be good for me and my baby.

Instead the husband and his mother bullied me into going. So, I went. I saw her brother and family stressing about the menu prices and I could hear him talking to the kids (two teenagers that were always starving) about sharing a dish with each parent. Which I knew meant the parents would only eat a bite or two and let the kids have the majority. They were a lot like how I grew up where my parents sacrificed so much for us and just really happy to see California and have a place to stay.

And that’s when it hit me. I announced loudly, “Cindy (not mil real name), thank you so much for this wonderful breakfast you wanted to take us all too this morning. I am so grateful you wanted to treat all of us to such a special breakfast.”
The look on her face as she stumbled how to get out of paying for everyone but she knew she couldn’t because she was the one that forced us all to go.

Her brother jumped in and said, “Oh Cindy, we wouldn’t have pushed back this morning if we had known that was your intention “.. Bam…now she was on the hook. Then I mentioned how grateful I was for a large breakfast so that maybe I didn’t have to put lunch together and could nap with the baby that afternoon.

She looked aghast. She was trapped. Everyone went big. Pancakes, omelets, extra sides of meat and potatoes. I even suggested people bring extras home to snack on and let me relax. Even my stupid husband agreed. When the bill came and the server did the customary, where do I set it, I blurted out, “You can just give it to my mil, she offered to treat us all this morning because she really wanted us all to go to her favorite breakfast spot”.

That’s when it finally sank in to my simpleton husband what I did. He was furious at me when we got home but I was well fed and ready to nap and do my own thing. We are divorced now but man, that was the first big moment where I stuck it back to him and his mother. But was always curious is that made me the AH.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

NefariousnessFresh24 −  NTA – she insisted you all go to this place, you would not have gone to if it had been up to you. She probably knew that her brother and his kids could not afford it. You made sure that people got well-fed, and that you got some rest later on, while your husband had let you do all the work of hosting HIS family up until then. It was time your MIL showed some appreciation, and that was the best way to get it. And yeah, 19 years ago or yesterday, that doesn’t matter, you did right.

Unlucky_Customer_712 −  NTA. Revenge is a dish best served on someone else’s tab.. Well done.

NightWorldPoppy −  NTA and even if it was years ago, I found it hilarious.

maroongrad −  NAH. She was not being considerate or polite. SHE wanted to eat out, SHE didn’t want to eat alone, so s**ew you and your family and being hungry, she bullied you into going. If she’s not going to play by the rules of polite society, YOU DON’T HAVE TO EITHER. Hats off for this 🙂

blueyejan −  Expert level pettiness! I would never have had the nerve. I bet ex mil thought you and your ex would pick up the tab. Good on you. I had 2 kids as a single parent at E5. Going out to breakfast was not in my budget.

kukonimz −  Nope NTA. Mil and wasband were selfish bullies to you and everyone else. This was 1000% a great move! I hope she’s still bitter about it!

UnicornPoopCircus −  NTA – They got what they deserved – but also, where is this nice breakfast place in Monterey? I go there often and while I have some favorite spots to eat, I don’t think I’ve ever run into any really good breakfast spots.

Leo-POV −  Queen. Well played, Ma’am.

Low-Law602 −  The MIL’s brother was really quick on the uptake and put the final nail in. He and his family must have loved you! His quickness also indicates that MIL had probably pulled similar stunts before.

Spiritual_Oil_7411 −  NTA I mean, you could have toned it down without the extras and take-homes, but, what the hey! In for a penny, in for a pound.