AITAH for “getting his hopes up” and then telling him i had an a**rtion and serving divorce papers?

A Redditor shared their story of enduring emotional and physical strain in their marriage, culminating in a heated confrontation and difficult decisions. After being accused of infidelity, enduring baseless paternity doubts, and facing a lack of support, they chose to terminate a pregnancy and serve divorce papers. Read the full story below to decide if they were justified in their actions.

‘ AITAH for “getting his hopes up” and then telling him i had an a**rtion and serving divorce papers?’

I’ve hit my breaking point. I hit it a while ago but I totally snapped. I have a surgery that will make my entire life so much easier. Its needed but not an emergency so I’ve been on the wait list for a couple months and probably still will be until march.

Anyway my soon to be ex-husband has known about this surgery since like the first couple weeks of THIS year. I begged him to get snipped, my body cant handle birth control anymore and he refuses to wear condoms so that was the compromise and he just never did it. Well 2 months ago my already psychotic period was late and I was pissed. Pregnancy test was positive.

It was the first time we had had s** in months but my husband was for sure he never “finished” that night and i must have been cheating on him. He went into this huge pissed off rage and wanted paternity tests for all our kids and I better call their “real dads” to come take care of them. He said this to our kids faces.

We left. I went to my dr and asked for her to do a blood test to see the paternity of the baby and then to give me a**rtion pills because I couldn’t do this again. I almost died during my last birth. After I took the pills and confirmed I wasn’t pregnant anymore I filed for divorce and when all the paternity tests came back that he is in fact their dad.

He started being so sweet and saying he was sorry for how he acted and how I know how he questioned his daughters paternity(yeah he has now done this with ALL of his kids) and how I shouldn’t take it so hard. I handed him the divorce papers, told him I had an a**rtion and he can stay the hell away from me and the kids.

He’s been texting me non stop since. I’m a b**ch. how could I kill his baby, how dare I get his hopes up and then pull this s**t. How now he has to tell his parents that I’m not pregnant when he already told them I was. Then asked who is going to take care of me after my surgery cuz no one will want to watch the kids and take care of me because no one gives a f**k about me, so I told him all communication will be through my emails and blocked him.. AITAH?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

njoinglifnow −  Why did he tell his parents if he was so sure that it wasn’t his baby?. Nta.

AnxiousTelephone2997 −  NTA. Good on you for leaving your a**sive spouse and protecting your health.

Additional-Aioli-545 −  Hmm … I say.* all communication from him needs to go through your lawyer – not you.
* Get a Mint SIM ($15/month) so that he cannot contact you, nor can his family.

* you need to have an independent interview of your children to document what he said to them about their paternity so that… * he only gets supervised visitation.
* update the school with a code word that whomever comes to pick up your kids, gives them that code word before release. * shutdown or deactivate all social media.

* any joint accounts, take 1/2 of the contents, move your funds to a different bank. * check that he’s not the beneficiary on any policies/accounts.
* get someone in your family, who keeps their mouth shut, to be your ICE contact.

Only tell your children that which is absolutely necessary for them to know. Move in silence and handle him, OP. What a wretched scab on the rump of humanity he is.. NTA.

Fresh_Passion1184 −  NTA. He is. Refusing to get a vasectomy and refusing to wear condoms at the same time after your last child nearly killed you? He’s the epitome of selfish. Then getting all pissed off and denying the paternity of his own children as a weapon to hurt you *in front of them* is completely beyond the pale. You’re well quit of him. Follow the legal advice to document everything he says or does and keep you and the kids safe.

Ok-Neighborhood-4158 −  NTA. He’s a**sive and m**ipulative. You need to GTFO now while you can. You can text him and tell him he can no longer communicate with you outside of the lawyers. Failure to do that will result in a harassment complaint- especially if that continues via email. In the meantime, show your lawyer the text messages and make sure any visitation he may get be supervised. He may advise you to make a police report now based on what he’s already said. Always make a paper trail if you can.

Do NOT underestimate his crazy. Call 911 if anything happens. The most dangerous time is after he realizes he no longer has control over you. If you can, get security cameras. Vary the times and places you typically go. Don’t take the same way to and from places. Make it hard to find you. Go find a women’s shelter in the area. They will have services that can help you through this time, even counseling.

Seniora-Tonight7955 −  NTA, your husband is. What kind of partner doesn’t respect his wife’s health issues and refuses to wear condoms because he doesn’t like them? You’ve been through much hun, you’re the victim of the story, not him.

TheFrankenbarbie −  I almost stopped reading after “refuses to use condoms.” You’re 100% NTA for initiating a divorce.. Throw the whole “man” in the 🗑

Ok-Suit4444 −  10/10 he was cheating your whole relationship, and projecting that with questioning the paternity of all your children.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. You got out and did what you had to do to survive. Hta. Cut off contact and go through legak channels only but keep any messsages as proof for court.

noonecaresat805 −  Nta. Good for you. I would call your insurance company and tell them your going to need help I know my insurance will pick me up drop. Me off at my appointment and then pick me up from there and drop me off home. And I believe if I need surgery they can get me someone to help a bit. But it has to done with time. I am very proud of you for standing up for yourself. Your ex is an ah.