AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? (Update 2)

A young adult, neglected by their parents and overlooked during a pivotal family event (their parents’ wedding), finally exposes the years of emotional abuse and exclusion. With their grandmother’s unwavering support, they move out, cut ties, and begin a journey towards independence and healing.

The experience underscores the importance of finding validation, advocating for oneself, and leaning on those who truly care. read the original story below…

For those who haven’t read the original article : 

Original post : https://aita.pics/yrKlf

Update 1 : https://aita.pics/neOVy

‘ AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? (Update 2)?’

Hello! Sorry for not having re-updated sooner or commented, as you can imagine if you’ve seen my last posts, it’s been a busy week to say the least. There’s been a lot of people messaging me and commenting on the post and I haven’t had time to answer to no one until today and I’m sorry for that.

You all have been so helpful and caring for me and my story and it’s been truly eye opening and terrifying to see how many people have gone through similar stories of n**lect and abuse and I just want to thank you all for taking time out of your day to send some kind words to this internet stranger. This update will be long so sorry about that.

I’m just going to continue where I left off. So my grandma called me to tell me she was coming here to see me and help me out. I was very stressed about it because my grandma has a very hard time traveling so for her to take this trip meant that she would be under enormous stress and I felt responsible for her since I was the one that called her.

She arrived early Monday morning with my uncle and I went to get her at the airport. Ngl it was a very intense and emotional moment and as soon as I saw her I ran to her arms and broke down sobbing.

I don’t even know if I was able to tell her anything at that moment because of how hard I was crying and I had so many things to say; Thank you for coming, for being so good to me, for having my back, I’m sorry to have made you take this trip, I feel awful at home, I don’t know if my parents love me but I know you do, am I an affair child?

I truly was hit with all of this plus the guilt and the anxiety all at once when I saw her but she held me tight in her arms telling me everything was going to be okay. My uncle hugged us as well. I don’t know how long we stayed like this but it must’ve been a while until my uncle told me we should get going.

We grabbed a cab and went to their hotel. My grandma had teary eyes and I could feel her breathing heavily which scared me but she kept hugging me and smiling all the way. She had reserved a double room so I could stay with her for these days and, once they were settled in and I was more calm,

we sat down and I poured everything out for them. The years of n**lect and the emotional abuse, how I was feeling miserable after the trip but also for years now, how my parents have been trying to make me feel guilty for all of this that has happened,

how I was scared about my future but my n.1 priority at the moment now was to move out of that house even at the expense of my school work, how I have made arrangements to move in with my friend and I was looking for a job, and I told them about this post and how some people thought I might be an affair child and that I was beginning to question that as well.

It was a lot and I could tell they were both really affected by what I was saying but they kept comforting me and making me feel safe to open up to them. After I unloaded all my concerns with them my grandma reassured me that I had nothing to worry about anymore and that she would be here for me always.

First of all she reassured me that I was not an affair child and that both my parents were thrilled when my mother got pregnant with me and that she knew the ultimate deal-breaker for my mom was cheating and she believed it was the same for my father.

Apparently the favoritism began showing when I was around 3 to 4 years old when my parents were constantly complaining about having a young kid in the house and they were bothered because they could take my older siblings to their stuff but not me and I was also very shy

and a bit of a cry-baby which they had no patience with and made me very different from my siblings.She told me that she knew that my parents had saved more than enough for my college (they’re really well-off so that had never been a concern for me until now thinking they might pull the funds away from me for my education.)

but that if they tried to not pay for my schooling she would take care of it and that she just wouldn’t let me drop out because of money concerns. She also told me she would help me with rent and an allowance to move out.

She was very generous and I thanked her for it all but I also told her that this experience had been eye opening in the sense that I never realized how privileged I had been economically all my life. For all their faults my parents have pampered me, money wise, all my life;

I went to private school, I have a rather large monthly allowance, I’ve had a card for years now and they have never objected to any of my expenses. Seeing the stories here I realized how good I’ve had it so far and how, being dependable on them all my life, made me so exposed to losing everything,

and I want to be independent now, not just from my parents, but from everyone, I feel like I need to learn to stand up on my own. Writing this and having just read all the stories of people in truly awful situations makes me feel like I’ve been a spoiled b**t all my life tbh.

She insisted on me accepting my help until I don’t needed anymore and I accepted that but I’ll still will look for a job and try to make it out on my own. We relaxed for a while in the hotel because we were all exhausted from the morning but in the afternoon we grabbed a cab and went to my house.

My parents were extremely surprised to see my grandma and uncle with me when I entered the door but before they could say anything my grandma told me to go pack all my essentials while they talked to them. I rushed upstairs and I could hear my grandma and uncle berating my parents for all that they had put me through.

At first I also heard my parents trying to defend themselves but eventually they quiet down. When I came downstairs with two suitcases and my backpack full to the brim with everything important that I had in my room they were all in the living room.

My father was beet red and my mother was sobbing like a child and when she saw me she extended her arms on my direction saying she was sorry but I just said “save it” with the coldest tone I could muster and my dad said that I “didn’t have to be j**k” to which both my uncle and grandma told him to shut up.

I left the house at that moment and waited for the cab outside. In the hotel my grandma reassured me that I wouldn’t have to go back to them and that they told her my college tuition was never in question for them and that they had planned to throw me an extravagant birthday party to make up for the wedding mess

and were going to be giving me a car as an apology for everything but my grandma was having none of that bs because it was pretty obvious to her that they were only trying to save face and they were coming up with this things on the fly and that a party and a car would not make up for all that they have put me through.

Apparently the moment that broke my mother was when she told her that I had even questioned my paternity and she started crying then but my grandma told her that what else could they expect when they had excluded me repeatedly from all family events since I was a child.

She told me that she would make sure they made the payments to my school unless I preferred to completely cut ties with them and have her pay until I can pay myself and I asked her to do that. I felt bad because I feel like it’s not her responsibility but I truly don’t want anything else from my parents anymore and,

although my grandma is pretty well-off herself, she’s not as wealthy as my parents, but she reassured me that everything is alright and that everything going to me would be taken away from my mom’s inheritance.

So the next day we went with my friend, her parents and grandma to the studio where we were planning to move and immediately upon arriving my grandma said “absolutely not”. I knew from pictures that the studio was very very small and dirty but we saw water damage and mold in the bathroom

and kitchenette and there was also rust in the little old appliances. I knew all of this beforehand but I figured I could live with that, at least for a while, but the thing that the adults pointed out that actually made me

and my friend change our minds was the fact that this studio was street level in a bad neighborhood in a building that didn’t seem particularly safe and had bullet holes on the walls which I didn’t even know what those were until my friend’s dad pointed it out.

So grandma and my friend’s parents said they would look for an apartment for us in a better location and they’d help cover the costs. Both my friend and I want to be independent but we realize that with our most likely minimum wage jobs in such a high demand area we won’t be able to find anything better on our own .

So the plan is we’re going to look for a two bedroom apartment and me and my friend are going to pay what we had previously planned for the studio and her parents and my grandma will cover the difference.

I know is still quite spoiled of me to expect that help from my grandma but after seeing the studio in person I truly wouldn’t have felt safe there. My friend’s parents who were somewhat aware of what I was going through told me that I could move in with them until we find a nice apartment .

I’m extremely grateful since grandma is going back in a couple of days and I’ve been staying in the hotel with her ever since. Apparently my friend, her parents and my grandma spoke about this before coming to me to make sure I had some safe place to stay until we move into the apartment (Which is still to be found).

I teared up a little as I thanked them seeing how people were rallying behind me to offer help. Since then I’ve been moving some of the stuff I had left at my parents and setting my space in my friend’s.

My mom keeps crying and apologizing every time I go back and even my father has said sorry but I remain distant and cold towards them. My sister called and said that our mother was a mess and that I was a d\*ck for what I had done but before she could say anything else I hanged up the phone and blocked her.

I was going to block my brother as well when I saw that he had sent me a very long message apologizing again and again for all that he has done to me and for not realizing our parents were treating me so poorly.

He says he’s been doing a lot of self-reflection on the days since grandma called and realized that he had been in the wrong for assuming I wasn’t on the trip because I wouldn’t want to go and for just allowing my parents to exclude me for all those years.

I sent a brief reply thanking him for his words but telling him I need space and I was not ready to accept his apology. I feel like he might be genuine because he has never been n**ty to me the way my sister has, just aloof towards me, but I also feel like I need to keep him away for the moment.

Also keeping a bridge up with my family feels like the right thing to do right now that everything is so fresh. Maybe in the future he will show me he’s just as n**ty as everyone else and I’d block him, but as long as he respects my boundaries I feel better not cutting him off completely.

I’ve also made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in neglected teens and I have my first preliminary visit next week, again funded by my grandma, which makes me feel ever more eager to find a job ASAP to take the burden off of her even if she tells me time and time again she is happy to do all of this for me.

That’s were things stand right now. I don’t know if I’ll update again, maybe when I start classes or move to the apartment, but right now I’m just trying to enjoy some time with my grandma and my uncle and learn to grow and get rid of this feelings of guilt and depression that have been plaguing me for so long.

I want to thank once again all of this community for being so nice and helpful to me and all of you who have messaged me with your own personal stories of getting kicked out or having to learn how to make it on your own at a too early age,

you’ve helped me feel a lot less alone and made me realize that things can get better if I work hard for it. I feel kind of spoiled for having such an amazing support system on my grandma, uncles and my friend, but you all guys are right,

reaching out has been the absolute best decision I could have taken and opening up about my feelings to those who love me and to all of you internet friends has absolutely saved me so thank you, really I’m more grateful than words can ever tell.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

ivy_inferno −  I’m happy for you that you got precious help from some family members and friends <3 And the therapist is an EXCELLENT idea, it can help so much coping with those kinds of traumas

Unbasic_lewker −  I’m so sorry your parents treated you so horribly OP. However I’m glad your grandma and uncle have your back. I know you feel guilty that your grandma is helping you, but the adults in your life SHOULD help you. It’s their job to do so.

Please do not feel bad, your grandma is trying to make up for what your parents did. Your parents should be groveling. Please do not stress yourself out because you are actually being taken care of like you should’ve been all along. You’re not taking advantage of anyone.

I really hope everything works out for you in the end. You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders despite your parents’ BS. Edit: parents’ instead of parents

Foreign-Grass602 −  I’m curious—when you’ve gone back to collect things, what exactly have your parents been saying? You mentioned they were apologizing, but is it more along the lines of “I’m sorry, forgive me” or are they specifically saying, “I’m sorry for xyz”?

I’m just trying to figure out if they’re apologizing because they were called out by your grandma, or if they genuinely recognize their own mistreatment. It may not matter right now, but understanding this could be important if there’s any hope of salvaging the relationship in the future.

Due-Eye9270 −  I’d unblock your sister, screenshot all the n**ty messages she’s sent, and block her again. Then unblock your parents and send them the screenshots along with “I wonder from who she learned to treat me like this from” and block them again.

LovelyReaper7779 −  I hope you aren’t feeling guilty for coming from a well off family, OP. You’re not spoiled. You seem more self aware than a lot of people with your same background. Working and living a life independent of your family will open up the world to you.

I truly don’t think you’re a spoiled rich kid. Working for the things we need and want can create character and teach us so many things i.e., how to handle difficult people and situations professionally, the value of each hour and dollar earned, teamwork, societal structures, and so on.

I’m glad you have a safety net with your grandma and don’t listen to anyone who would degrade you for that. A lot of us are living hand to mouth and paycheck to paycheck and I absolutely do not wish that on someone just starting out in life.

If you ever want to update about how things are, I’m definitely going to read it. Thank you for sharing a very difficult time in your life.

Beck2010 −  I am so sorry for all you have gone through with your parents and siblings. No one deserves the treatment you’ve received. But please – don’t cut off your nose to spite your face in terms of college money. Your parents need to foot that bill in full. Don’t hamper yourself with that expense when they can afford it. It is the very least they can do.

Full_Campaign5430 −  This tale so far has been one where all I can say is GO GRANDMA. Wish I had her on my side. Mine crucified me. I really hope the next update is one of reconciliation and a family coming together as I am so burnt out with the nastiness of things like this.. Wishing you you only the best OP

Odd-Share3246 −  take the help you are getting. Make sure to get every cent you can from your college fund to educate yourself. Sadly, being the forgotten child will never change. BUT you can make your own family and have a great life.

your are indeed privilege to have access to a college fund and financial help from your grandma, not everyone dealing with situation like yours have had that. Cherish that part as much as you can while you work on settling your own adult life.

Work hard, make something out of it for those of us who had no choice. it will get better but not like all-good-magically-family-treating-you-like-the-others good, but good as you will create in your life.

[Reddit User] −  I’m so sorry that your parents are such horrible people! I love your response to the apology. It’s fabulous that you have someone in your corner now. Please tell your grandmother and uncle that a whole huge bunch of people, worldwide, thank them for looking out for you.

Aggravating_Style544 −  Your Grandma is a badass, and your uncle is a real one too. Your friend and her parents sound like lovely people. I hope your brother turns out to be genuine, and you have another person in your corner. Keep your sister blocked.

She was awful for calling you a d*ck just for standing up for yourself. I don’t know what to say about your parents. It sounds like their hasty “efforts” are too little, too late. They may have taken care of you monetarily, but emotionally, they dropped the ball.

What are your thoughts? Was the decision to confront their parents warranted? Share your opinions below!

For those who want to read update 3 : https://aita.pics/dOhRM