AITAH because I don’t want to help baby sit my wife’s BABY nephews literally like every weekend?
A Redditor recently shared frustration about his wife’s recurring offers to babysit her brother’s young children every weekend. As a father of two older daughters, he recalls the exhaustion of early parenting and dislikes revisiting the diaper-changing and toy-scattering phase.
Despite communicating his discomfort and their therapist advising his wife to check with him first, she continues to commit to watching her nephews for long stretches. This has created tension, as he feels it unfair that they rarely get a kid-free break themselves, yet provide that for her brother and sister-in-law. Read the full story below.
‘ AITAH because I don’t want to help baby sit my wife’s BABY nephews literally like every weekend?’
Here is the deal I have two daughters I love them deeply, but I would never go back to the time when they were under 3 years old. I worked 60- 70 hours a week was always exhausted. And maybe once a quarter somebody would help out and gave my wife and I a break from No Kids for 24 hours.
I have explained to my wife that I do not like babies, poopy diapers and toys being dumped out all over the house. (That’s why I got a vasectomy) But it seems like every weekend I come home and find out that she has offered to take care of her brothers babies for no less than 12 to 36 hours.
We have even been to couples counseling where the therapist agreed with me that she should check with me before offering to take care of her brothers kids. She thinks I am being mean and that I just don’t like them, and that “I don’t want to be part of a family” and frankly at this point I don’t want to be part of her family.
I have repeatedly told her that I want to have a night and day with no kids! Why is it that only her brother and SIL get that. They are the dumbasses that had the kids and further more they never helped out with ours. So AITAH for not wanting to take care of these babies every freaking weekend?!?!
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
ChanceAd3606 − NTA. She’s prioritizing giving her brother a break over your own sanity and comfort in your own house. If she wants to go stay at their house to watch the Baby, go for it. Don’t bring it to the shared home if one person is not okay with it. She’s also just ignoring what your therapist said and is accusing you of being mean…yikes.
Simple-Plankton4436 − NTA, but your wife is. She isn’t respecting you. And why should her brother get a break every weekend when you don’t get a break? Every other month would be better. . Edited: every other month
Quick-Television-345 − NTA. Tell your wife she needs to go to her brother’s home from now on if she’s choosing to volunteer her services.
do2g − \ She thinks I am being mean and that I just don’t like them, and that “I don’t want to be part of a family” and frankly at this point I don’t want to be part of her family. Lol, I’m with you on this brother. I’ve got a couple kids 23/20 and I do not want to go back in time, especially if its nearly every weekend! NTA
Sweet-Interview5620 − NTA from now on whenever you come home and find she’s done it again pack a bag and walk straight back out and tell her you will see her Monday night after work and kiss your kids goodbye. Then get a hotel or stay with a friend and put your phone on do not disturb.
That or tell the kids and your wife to get their coats and get in the car you’re taking them for a drive. Then drive them to their own house at which point tell your wife if she wants to babysit them then she does it at their house as she is no longer having them in your home every weekend.
Then unbuckle the kids and get them out the car and ring the doorbell and get back in your car to leave. If the parents are out tell your wife it’s her mess to sort out that she disrespected you every weekend and even the therapist told her she’s in the wrong so now you will no longer tolerate it or concern yourself about upsetting her over it.
There is another option which is call the brother and Sil and tell them choosing not to parent their own kids and taking advantage of your wife is breaking up your marriage. That the ways it’s going they may even end up with your wife living with them as she may not be able to say no but you sure as hell can.
TarzanKitty − NTA. In your shoes. I would start booking every weekend. Camping with the boys, travel for the weekend for a football game, hotel alone for bad TV and room service, the possibilities are endless.
Muttley87 − NTA. My sister does this also, every weekend she comes in with her 3 kids (all under 4) and goes off on her own because she needs a break. My parents aren’t really able for them so it mostly falls to me to look after them until my sister comes back.
She’s said before that she needs our support because 3 young kids are a lot to deal with. I don’t disagree with her statement but I don’t see why her reproductive decisions are my problem after I’ve worked for the week.
If I was to mention any of the above I’d be considered TA by my family and get given out to about upsetting her despite how burnt out I am for getting no rest days for weeks at a time. My BIL and I are the only 2 working full time at the moment but then he gets Saturday’s off while I end up babysitting.
Sensitive-Ask-9368 − Take yourself away to a hotel and have a peaceful weekend without kids. Her circus her monkeys.
Bigstachedad − Sounds like your wife cares more for her brother, SIL and their children than you and your children. She can’t possibly give as much time to you and her daughters when she’s babysitting babies (you don’t say how many, but I’m guessing there are two of them) every weekend.
Even after counseling she doesn’t understand this. I guess you’ll just have to bite the bullet and learn to live with it. Although, bear in mind, this is not going to stop when the nieces/nephews are no longer babies. Are you prepared to live this way until they’re teenagers?
ElleGeeAitch − NTA, why is she falling all over herself to help them when they did nothing for ya’ll?
Do you think he’s being reasonable in wanting some downtime, or should he be more understanding of his wife’s desire to support her family? How would you handle a similar situation with different expectations for family involvement? Share your thoughts below!
