AITA my wife became emotionally abusive since giving birth, she topped it off by cheating, now she is begging me to reconsider
Marriage is built on love, respect, and trust. But what happens when one partner becomes emotionally abusive, refuses help, and ultimately betrays the other?
OP has been married to his wife for two years, and since the birth of their child, his marriage has become unbearable. His wife, who chose to be a stay-at-home mom, became irritable, dismissive, and emotionally abusive. She refused therapy, blamed him for everything, and denied him intimacy for over a year. Then, she cheated.
Instead of guilt, OP felt relief—because now, he could walk away without questioning if he was making the right choice. But now that he’s ready to leave, his wife is begging him to stay. Is he wrong for standing his ground? Let’s break it down.
‘AITA my wife became emotionally abusive since giving birth, she topped it off by cheating, now she is begging me to reconsider’
Expert Opinion:
The Reality of Postpartum Mental Health
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a serious condition that affects up to 20% of new mothers. It can cause irritability, mood swings, and withdrawal from partners. However, PPD does not excuse abuse or infidelity. According to Dr. Samantha Meltzer-Brody, a perinatal psychiatrist, PPD should be treated with therapy and medical intervention—not by lashing out at a spouse.
OP’s wife refused therapy, dismissed his concerns, and continued her emotional abuse for over a year. This suggests a lack of accountability, not just a mental health struggle. While PPD can impact relationships, it doesn’t absolve someone from responsibility for their actions—especially when they actively avoid help.
Infidelity as the Breaking Point
Cheating is a deliberate decision, not an accident. Research shows that 80% of people who cheat are fully aware they’re doing something wrong but choose to proceed anyway.
By stepping out of the marriage, OP’s wife broke the fundamental trust between them. Her sudden remorse after being caught isn’t necessarily about regret—it may be about damage control. This is common in relationships where one partner relies on the other financially or emotionally.
Lessons Learned: Why OP Is Right to Walk Away
OP’s situation highlights several key lessons:
- PPD is real, but it doesn’t justify emotional abuse – Mental health struggles should be addressed with professional help, not by treating a partner like an emotional punching bag.
- Cheating is a choice, not a mistake – OP’s wife knowingly betrayed him. Now that she’s facing the consequences, she’s scrambling to fix the situation.
- Remorse after getting caught isn’t the same as accountability – If OP hadn’t discovered the affair, would she have confessed?
- Walking away isn’t “giving up” – it’s self-respect – OP already endured a year of mistreatment. He doesn’t owe his wife another chance.
By moving forward with divorce, OP is making the healthiest choice for himself and his child.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Most Redditors agree—OP is not in the wrong. His wife’s emotional abuse and infidelity were major betrayals, and her sudden regret doesn’t erase the damage done. While PPD is a serious issue, it doesn’t justify cruelty or cheating. OP is choosing to respect himself and prioritize his well-being.
What do you think? Should OP give his wife another chance, or is he right to leave? Let us know in the comments!