AITA for threatening to ban my brother from my wedding because he plans on proposing to his girlfriend during the reception?

A Redditor (25M) is planning his wedding and, after a conversation with his brother (30M), discovers that his brother is planning to propose to his girlfriend during the reception.

The Redditor firmly told his brother that this wasn’t allowed, even threatening to ban him from the wedding if he went through with it. Now, the family is upset with the Redditor, and his fiancée thinks he should have allowed the proposal to avoid conflict. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for threatening to ban my brother from my wedding because he plans on proposing to his girlfriend during the reception?’

I (25M) am getting married in December. My fiancée (24F) and I both are very excited and busy planning, and this incident is making things much more stressful. A couple weeks ago I was talking about the wedding with my brother (30M) and he asked if it’d be okay for him to propose to his girlfriend at our wedding.

I laughed and said “Yeah, sure, if you want to get your ass handed to you by my fiancée”. He laughed, and I figured he got the message. The other day my fiancée came to me, in tears, saying that my brother had called her and thanked her for letting him propose at the wedding.

She told him that had never happened, and he wasn’t allowed to do that, and he just laughed and thanked her again. I called my brother back and asked him what was going on. He’s insisting that he’s going to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding.

He claims it’s “getting even” for when I announced our engagement at the same family dinner he brought his girlfriend to meet the family (I had no idea, they arrived separately and she got there after I had made the announcement).

I told him if he doesn’t get it through his head that he is absolutely not allowed to propose, both him and his girlfriend won’t be allowed into the wedding at all, and if he tries to pull a stunt, he’ll be kicked out immediately.

He didn’t take it well and told the whole family. My fiancée and I have been getting calls and messages from them telling us how s**tty we are for doing that, how dare I turn my back on my brother.

He’s also now blaming me for spoiling the proposal to his girlfriend and the family, because if I hadn’t been “such an ass”, he wouldn’t have had to break the news to the family like this. I still stand by what I did, I don’t think I was out of line at all, but my fiancée thinks we should have just let him propose to avoid conflict.

I know it means a lot to her that everyone gets along and that there’s no hard feelings, especially since she’s feeling stressed as is, but I don’t want to give in to my brother.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Lunararchon −  NTA, it’s your wedding. Besides, proposing at a wedding is super awkward. Like. The wedding is about the couple, not someone who’s going to be getting married in the future.

MelkorHimself −  NTA. I can’t tell you how many threads I’ve seen here where somebody proposes at a wedding. It’s an a**hole move that steals the thunder from the newlyweds. This is your day, and your older brother should know better.

Arctic_Mandalorian −  Nta. That would take away from your special day and is innapropriate. Edit: also he’s being incredibly m**ipulative and you honestly might be better off eloping with that kind of familial response.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You just don’t announce news or propose at a wedding. It’s a celebration of two people not a party.

Mak_and_Cheezy_ −  NTA!!! Your wedding day is about YOU and your partner and no one else! If he can’t use the other 364 days in a year to propose he’s being an a**hole! Also his poor fiancé is being used in a revenge scheme.

Unless he seriously says he won’t do it I would ban him. I would reach out to all your relatives because he is likely giving them a very insider story!. Congrats on getting married!!

TroyandAbed_Morning −  NTA – stand your ground on this. It sounds like he’s doing it to annoy you not because he even wants to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding.

Sharikacat −  NTA. You do not co-opt other people’s events for your own announcements. That’s tacky and massively rude and disrespectful. I hope you realize that your bother is going to tell you that he won’t propose just so he can be invited then spring the proposal anyway, right? You can ban him from getting anywhere near a microphone, and he’ll still find some way to make a scene for himself.

desert_red_head −  NTA. Feel free to ban him and anyone else you feel might be encouraging him to still do it. If he continues to give you a hard time, you can always give his girlfriend a heads up about his plans and completely ruin the proposal that way.

[Reddit User] −  Clearly NTA. There are some rules for weddings – you don’t wear white, you don’t ask about the ex’s, and you don’t propose at another person’s wedding! Your brother sounds mean and your family sounds unsupportive though… maybe call up your folks and find out why they think you’re turning your back on him?

TimeForCaffeine −  NTA – it is your wedding he does not get to steal your thunder. Disinvite him NOW. I say you have a 98% chance of him either doing it at the reception anyway or using the reception to announce that he proposed the day before.

Is it unreasonable to set boundaries for your wedding, or should the Redditor have avoided further family conflict by letting his brother propose? How would you handle a situation like this? Share your thoughts in the comments!

For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/xsiZo