AITA for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at a baby shower?

A Reddit user shared a story about their wife’s behavior at a coworker’s wife’s baby shower, sparking tension between them. The wife, who has been struggling with feelings of infertility, attended the shower but became emotional upon seeing the pregnant host. She called her husband to comfort her but insisted on staying, eventually becoming the center of attention for the rest of the event.

The coworker’s wife, Mary, left her own shower early, and the husband later questioned whether staying was the right choice. The wife felt betrayed by his comment, escalating the situation further. To find out more about this emotional conflict, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at a baby shower?’

So my wife (26F) and I (28M) have been married for a year and began trying to conceive in September. No luck so far but the doctor did say at our first appointment that it typically takes close to a year for most couples to conceive. She’s been telling people that she’s infertile (which isn’t true, doctor said she isn’t).

My wife and I went to my work Christmas party in mid December, where my wife met my coworkers wife (let’s call her Mary) and they took a liking to each other. Mary was pregnant and invited my wife to her baby shower (which was yesterday), and my wife sounded excited to go. I asked her when we were alone if she thinks she’ll be fine.

I know my wife and I know what typically bothers her. I knew she wouldn’t bask in happiness over someone else’s pregnancy so I urged her to think it through. She said she’s fine and she was excited so she went. The baby shower was yesterday.

About 40 minutes in, she calls me and asks me to come. I was at a cafe nearby because I knew she wouldn’t stay long. I find her at the entrance of the house crying and a BUNCH of women consoling her. When she saw me she came to me and pulled me to the garden to talk.

She said she was dancing and looked at Mary’s pregnant belly and couldn’t take it anymore, started crying and ran out. All of Mary’s friends followed her out to console her. I consoled her myself, and said “ok let’s go babe. Where do you want to go? We can go for a drive so you can feel better”,

she looked at me weird and asked why she would leave. I asked why she would stay. She said she feels better now and can go have a good time. I sighed and said “babe, you know that’s not going to happen. And I doubt the attention will be on Mary after this and that’s not great.

It’s her baby shower and she deserves to be celebrated. I can’t see how people are going to shift their focus from consoling you to celebrating her if you’re still there”. She rolled her eyes at me and said she was going back in and that I could leave. 3 hours later, the party was nearing its end so I go back to pick her up.

My coworker and I stepped into the house and lo and behold, everyone is sitting in a circle with my wife being the centre of attention. Coworker looked for his wife and she wasn’t there at all. He called her and she said she had left ages ago.

My wife and I entered the car and I first asked her how she was feeling and we spoke about it for a few minutes. I then asked her what happened and why Mary left. She said “oh crap, Mary. I forgot to say bye to her”. I told her Mary left ages ago.

I then said “I know you’re going through a hard time but why on earth would you and her friends do this? If they consoled you for a few minutes that’s fine but the entire party? We really should’ve left earlier”.

She looked at me so offended and said “are you Mary’s husband or mine?”. We stared at each other for a while and just drove home in silence. I told her I want to talk to her this morning to sort things out but she ignored me and left the house.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

dehydratedrain −  NTA. Your wife turned someone else’s celebration into her own pity party, to be point that the guest of honor left her own shower, and doesn’t realize she did anything wrong? Do you really want to have a child with a woman like that?. ETA: thanks for the awards!

[Reddit User] −  I don’t really know where to start with this. Your wife sounds like A LOT. You’ve only been trying to conceive since September. That’s hardly any time at all…it’s very unusual to get pregnant straight away. There is no evidence there’s an issue, yet she’s acting like she’s having fertility issues,

which is very attention-seeking behaviour and pretty insensitive to people with real problems. Then she meets this woman just a few weeks ago, goes to her baby shower and completely ruins it and makes it all about herself.

That’s really horrible. NTA for telling her that she shouldn’t have stayed, you’re completely right, but you’re a little bit TA for enabling your wife’s unhinged behaviour.

CrystalQueen3000 −  NTA Your wife ruined Mary’s baby shower by making it a pity party for herself

stacko- −  NTA. I don’t blame her for the initial distress but this could’ve all been avoided had she just left with you when you suggested it. I can’t bring myself to understand why she stayed. And the fact that she didn’t even realise Mary left.

What a mess. I hope Mary has other friends and family she can host for celebrations going forward because your wife and the friends who were in attendance are not really Mary’s friends imo.

Away_Refuse8493 −  NTA…WTF is wrong w/ your wife? Is she a delusional person? She is telling people she is infertile (and does she believe this?), and crying at a borderline stranger’s baby shower and grabbing attention from a bunch of other strangers???

I’m sure your wife is having some type of mental health issues, they are making her act horribly towards others. She’s not the victim, here. She stole a party for someone else and made it about her!

LurksAroundHere −  NTA. Your wife continually ruined that party by being an attention hogging AH.

TopAd7154 −  NTA but your wife is. Sounds like she’s quite enjoying the attention her “infertility” gets her. I feel very sorry for Mary. Your wife should apologise then get some professional help.

plantsb4putas −  NTA but your wife was 1000% You BOTH owe mary an apology and a gift from her registry to try and make up for ruining her baby shower. Yes, your wife ruined someones baby shower because she couldn’t stand not having attention for one day.

She sounds selfish and not at all mature enough to raise a child. I would personally ask her to seek counseling for her narcissist tendencies before you go bringing a child into the mix.

IzzyBologna −  NTA. Good luck being married to her.

Ok_Berry_2693 −  Show her the comments. So she sees it’s not just you that think she did something that’s so messed up