AITA for telling my unemployed friend he can’t tag along on a road trip?
A man told his unemployed friend he couldn’t join a group road trip after discovering the friend hadn’t saved any money. Despite offering to work out a solution, the friend said he couldn’t contribute, and his mom later offered to cover his share.
The man refused the offer, saying it wasn’t fair to take money from the friend’s mom or others who saved for the trip. Now, the friend has cut off communication, leaving the man feeling conflicted. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for telling my unemployed friend he can’t tag along on a road trip?’
Some of my friends and I have been planning a cross country road trip this summer, mainly to celebrate me and another guy getting our degrees, also just because it would be fun. This week we finally went in and planned out a budget, breaking down costs and what each person needs to bring to the table in terms of cash for it all to work out.
Which is where the issue comes in – one of the guys (M25) that was supposed to go is essentially unemployed, he lives with his parents and does doordashing on the side sometimes. Since we’ve been planning this for a while and he’s been active in the planning we kind of assumed he’d be putting aside some cash for it.
Turns out he hasn’t been, he’s completely out of cash, and he hasn’t even been doordashing at all for the past couple months. We’re trying to help him out by asking, okay, how much cash do you think you’ll be able to get by then, maybe we can all pitch in and float the difference.
He says doordashing barely gets him any money, he won’t be able to come up with anything substantial and it’s ridiculous of us to expect him to get enough cash in such a short time (about two months). Finally he sends a message saying he’s on the phone with his mom and she’s willing to pitch in the cash for his part.
I get pissed off and I tell him that we’re not going to be taking any cash from his mom, that it’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to the rest of us who’ve actually put in the work to save up for a trip like this. He says, okay, I guess I’m not going then, and now he won’t respond to any of us.
Now I’m left feeling like a j**k for leaving him out of something we’ve all been planning together and that he’s been so excited for.. AITA?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
No-Gain-1087 − NTA op he’s the dude who will spend all his money by the halfway point and expect you all to cover his lazy ass
Swimming-Fix-2637 − NTA. He knew about the trip, didn’t save money, and fully expects you and your friends to allow him to mooch of you all. You did not leave him out of anything: you gave him ample warning and he chose to not save anything towards the trip. That’s on HIM not you or your friends.
[Reddit User] − It’s a tough situation, but I don’t think you’re the a-hole here. You and your friends have been responsible and proactive in planning and saving up for the road trip, and it’s understandable that you would expect everyone else to do the same.
It’s not fair to expect his mom to foot the bill for his portion of the trip, especially since she may not have agreed to it willingly. You were honest with him about the situation, and it’s his decision not to come if he can’t contribute financially.
It’s unfortunate that he won’t be able to join, but ultimately, it’s his responsibility to manage his finances and prioritize his spending. However, it might be worth reaching out to him again to discuss the situation calmly and see if there’s any compromise or solution that can be reached.
Perhaps he can start working more hours or find another source of income to contribute to the trip. Communication is key in resolving conflicts like these.
Maximum-Ear1745 − INFO – if his mother wants to subsidise her adult son, why is this an issue to you? As long as his way is being paid, why does it matter where the money comes from?
pamelaonthego − NTA He knew the trip was coming up and wasn’t even trying to save any money through gig work but expected the group to float him. Why couldn’t he door dash for a few hours every day since he’s unemployed?
When you guys refused to pay for him he acted offended and went begging to his mom. That’s not someone I want to go on a road trip with.
Technical-Habit-5114 − Nta. Guys. Stop enabling him to not be responsible for his own life. He fully expected you all to pay for him. . Don’t. Let him stay home AND GET A JOB
Fluffy-Scheme7704 − NTA He wont be able to pay unexpected expenses and you all will have to pay. If he doesn’t have the money, he shouldn’t go
Triarii69 − ESH. He’s the a**hole because he obviously sounds lazy and unmotivated, and those aren’t healthy qualities or what people look for in a friend.
YTA because you obviously consider him a friend despite knowing that, but are now arbitrarily drawing lines about his parents paying for things.
He can live with his parents but his parents can’t loan or give him money for a trip? Why do you get to decide what’s fair but his mother can’t? If you feel this strongly about his situation, then ditch him as a friend, don’t kick him off a trip.
XAMdG − Idk, kinda? He’s useless for not being able to come up with the money himself, but if his mom is willing to pitch in, and it doesn’t affect your finances, why do you care where the money comes from?
StAlvis − NAH AITA for telling my ~~unemployed~~ broke-ass friend he can’t tag along on a road trip?. FTFY. NGL, *unemployed* friends are GREAT to bring on road trips — super-flexible schedules! But they need to *also* be the kind of responsible adults who have put away **savings** for situations exactly like this.
Was it unfair to exclude the friend, or was the decision reasonable? Share your thoughts below!
