AITA For telling my mom she’ll regret picking her husband over her children?
A 23-year-old woman and her husband moved in with her mother to help with bills and take care of her younger siblings. The main reason for the move was to prevent her mother from getting back with her on-and-off boyfriend. However, after remarrying him, the mother began spending all her time with him,
neglecting her children. When the woman argued with her mom over text about her neglecting her kids, she told her that she was too busy for them. The woman lashed out, saying her mom would regret choosing her husband over her children. The mother now refuses to speak to her, only contacting the woman’s siblings.
‘ AITA For telling my mom she’ll regret picking her husband over her children?’
I (23F) and my husband (22M) moved in with my mom over the summer to help my mom with her bills and to help take care of my three younger siblings. The main reason for this move was because I did not want her to get back with her “boyfriend” that she had been dating on and off for the past 7-8 years.
Not long after we moved in she starts talking to him again after repeatedly telling me she was never going to get back together with him. She then goes on to marry him and since then has taken on this mentality that she is his wife and has responsibilities towards him so she has to be with him 24/7.
Which in turn meant to me and my siblings that we would see her less because he does not live with us. Ever since she got married she goes directly to him after work and the only time my siblings see her is in the mornings when she takes them to school, she’s not even home during the weekends.
Recently this past weekend me and her ended up arguing over text because my siblings miss their mom and wanted to see her. She then chooses to instead of coming to see her kids to call them and tell them that she is too busy to see them
and that when she was there that all they did was play video games but now that she’s with her husband they suddenly “miss her” and want to “spend time with her.” This made my siblings sad which naturally made me step in and tell her off.
I told her she can’t be serious right now and that obviously her children are going to miss her. That even though they might have a roof over their heads and food that doesn’t mean they don’t still need their mother’s presence more than just a few minutes in the morning when they’re going to school.
I told her she can’t seriously be picking a man that has literally shown he does not care about her over her children who do love her. She responded by telling me the same thing she told my siblings that when she was with us that my siblings didn’t appreciate her and that they just spend their time playing games.
I’m like be so for real you’re resenting them as if they’re not literally children where’s that energy with that man that has literally done nothing good for us. She’s like oh so I’m a bad mom, okay that’s fine you’ll regret your words one day.
She then hangs up on me and refuses my calls and texts my sister telling her she’s not going to talk to me. So I texted her and told her the one that’s going to regret her words is you and you’ll be sorry for picking a man over your children.
The day you learn to not put a man on a pedestal is the day you’ll get your blessings. It’s a serious mental problem to be so attached to a man. That I love her but I know she’s not okay by doing what she’s doing.She’s now no longer talking to me and only contacts my siblings. AITA or was this a reality check my mom needed?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
NCKALA − NTA. **This sounds like mom planned this all out, the fake ‘breaking up’ to get you/husband to move back in and take care of her home and her minor-aged children; now she can freely go live with her new husband,** coz YOU are now running everything.
You should ***not*** be helping take care of bills AND raising siblings with YOUR money. She should be paying you. If this were Me? I’d tell dear ole mom that you/husband are moving back out, you have sent all of her communications between you and the children to Child Protective Agency,
and she needs to handle however this all falls out. How were these minor-aged (ages, please!) being taken care of before you moved back in? Who was watching them, food, needs, homework, doc appts, etc then? Or tell her that you are taking her to court,
using this history and her communication texts as a **LEGAL Primary Caregiver** for those 3 underage siblings, **you will be taking her to court** for general home costs, utilities, **child support**, etc. Makes me wonder what kind of home life these kids had before you moved in, sounds like Child N**lect to me. WHERE is the bio dad of these children?????
I_wanna_be_anemone − The children’s primary care giver is hardly in the same house as them. That is a huge safety issue worthy of calling CPS. The primary care giver is the one who’s supposed to have all the kids medical info in the event of an emergency.
If you mom has physically, mentally and emotionally abandoned these kids while giving you no legal authority to act as their guardian, those kids are in danger. NTA but stop enabling her, report her to CPS. Don’t let the youngest suffer eight more years of n**lect.
Jerseygirl2468 − NTA if she is abandoning her minor children you need to report her to CPS, even if it means moving out.
GothPenguin − NTA-If she wants to spend all of her time and energy with her husband she needs to wait until she no longer has children who need her at home and as an actual physical presence in their lives. She’s acting like an immature, selfish child when she needs to be a mom.
edebby − NTA. She’s a horrible parent. Making up such stupid excuses to whether her kids care or not about her means she has a guilty conscious, and she knows perfectly good that her decision is very bad.
rightioushippie − NTA contact CPS. You can legally foster your siblings but you need support
Themarchsisters1 − NTA. I’d say that her husband made it clear that he didn’t want her kids living with them, so she got you to move in so she could move out. She’s at least going to have to pay you child support if you choose to bring up your siblings in the long term.
As you and your husband are so young is he ok suddenly being dad to 3 kids? If he’s not, I’d be asking your mums sister or other family members to step in and either convince your mum that child abanonment is illegal, or take the kids themselves if they can.
whorl- − You can call CPS or the police and report child a**ndonment. Definitely screenshot the earlier text messages. Look into foster placement.
lmchatterbox − NTA. Those kids should come first whether they play video games or not.
Dull-Crew1428 − i would print out that text or save a screenshot. the day she tries to get help from the kids i would hand her the printout or send her the screenshot
Did the woman go too far with her words, or was she just giving her mom a necessary reality check? What do you think? Share your thoughts below! Read the original story below…