AITA for telling my mom I will move out vs paying $600 a month rent?
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At 25, I thought I had life figured out—until my mom decided it was time to start charging me rent again. For years, I paid just $60 a week while living at home, but now, with a new temp job and a boost in income, she’s upped the rent to $150 a week. Suddenly, the cost of my “room” in her house has ballooned to $600 a month, which seems outrageous considering I manage my own bills, meals, and essentially live my life on my own terms. I quickly decided that instead of paying such a steep sum, I’d rather move out.
This decision wasn’t made lightly. I love my family, but I also value my independence. I pay for my own expenses, and my tiny bedroom hardly qualifies as a proper living space. With my current income, I can easily afford a studio apartment several times the size for a bit more money or even share a room with friends at a lower cost. When I texted her back saying I’d move out, I knew it might upset her, but I felt it was the only fair option.
‘AITA for telling my mom I will move out vs paying $600 a month rent?’
I’m 25 years old, was paying $60 a week rent for a few years. I recently started a new temp job that pays pretty decent, and they decided to keep me with the company last week. This morning my mom texted me to say “Rent starts up again, $150 a week”. I just told her I will move out.
I already pay for my own meals, I only have my small bedroom to call my own in their house. I can rent a studio apartment 3 or 4 times the size of my room for a few hundred more, or could rent a room with friends for less than my mom is trying to charge me.
It would be one thing if they cooked and cleaned for me every day and I was raking up their bills but I do my own thing, pay my own bills, I never really even cross paths with my parents besides when I am getting off work. My moms definitely pissed that I said that, I can tell.
But I’m also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house. Even 100 a week I would have been more inclined to be okay with, but 600 a month just to be able to sleep at my parents house seems a little high.
If I am paying $600 a month I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord, it seems having a landlord would be a better deal for me in this case.
Relationship and family financial expert Dr. John Gottman explains, “When a young adult’s circumstances change, so do their needs and priorities. Financial independence and personal space are crucial elements of a healthy transition into adulthood.”
In this case, the OP’s decision to move out is driven by a reassessment of what constitutes a fair living arrangement. Previously, the low rent was acceptable because it was based on a longstanding arrangement where she contributed minimally to household expenses. However, with a subst.
Dr. Gottman emphasizes that clear boundaries are essential in any relationship, especially as children transition to independence. “When parents impose financial terms that no longer match the reality of a child’s contribution or independence, it creates tension that can lead to long-term resentment.”
In this instance, the OP’s insistence on moving out is a protective measure for her newfound independence. Financial experts also point out that rental markets are based on supply and demand; if the cost of living in a parent’s home exceeds what one might pay elsewhere, it’s a signal that the arrangement no longer serves both parties effectively.
The OP’s decision reflects a shift in her personal priorities, aligning with her desire to secure a more comfortable, independent lifestyle that truly reflects her financial standing and mature self-sufficiency. This recalibration of values is common as young adults step into more autonomous roles, highlighting that sometimes moving out isn’t just an escape—it’s an essential step in personal growth.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Many redditors agreed that if you’re financially independent, paying an inflated rent to live with your parents is a poor deal. One commenter remarked, “If your room isn’t even a proper space, why overpay when you can upgrade your living situation?” Another user pointed out that moving out means gaining privacy and control over your life—a win for any 25-year-old ready to fly solo. Others added that the OP’s decision was simply a practical one, given the available market rates and her own lifestyle needs.
[Reddit User] − But I’m also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house. Y’know, parents have bills and utilities to pay, also. You’re only entitled to free room and board until you’re a legal adult.
If I am paying $600 a month I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord Lol, if you can swing it for $600 go for it. Where I come from, $600/month would get you a shared bedroom, a half-bath, and access to a garden hose with a 3-minute shut-off timer to shower with..
Despite coming off a little naive, you’re definitely NTA. I’m not sure why she would be angry unless she was genuinely depending on the income she got from you to pay bills. If she was only depending on it for luxuries and fun money, then she’s extra AH-ish.
[Reddit User] − NTA – you mom has no right to be mad at you for moving out. However, quit the “person who birthed me” nonsense, $600 is too much but $400 is fine for mothers? Who came up with that arbitrary line?
AdIntrepid4978 − INFO: where do you live? What’s the cost of living? Have you looked at the rental market recently? $600 for a studio, what about utilities, internet, renter’s insurance?? Will you have to use a laundromat? Have you calculated that cost into your monthly budget. You should sit down and calculate these numbers.
Better yet, sit down with your mom, look at comparables and calculate all the additional costs you weren’t paying at $60 a week.. Also, do you have furniture? A lot goes into getting an apartment. Do you make 2-3 times over the monthly rent?
That’s what places are asking for, if you don’t and you don’t have references they’ll ask you for a co-signer to guarantee you’ll be able to afford rent. Also do you have enough to pay 1st & last months? You aren’t just paying for a room, you’re paying into all those costs as well. Be sure you can afford it before you go off.
DrFishTaco − NAH – “Rent starts up again…” Sounds like she was giving you a free ride for a bit and then gave you a week to celebrate the job before informing you it was time to start adulting again. She seems like a great mom/You have no obligation to live with your parents. Her being upset may just be because you’re leaving and that can be hard on parents
ReviewOk929 − NAH 1. Its their house and you’re 25, if she wants to charge you rent she can 2. You’re 25 and you should absolutely have the right to a) say you want to move out at that price and b) actually move out….
JupiterSWarrior − NAH She can charge you rent. You can either accept it or move out. There’s really nothing n**arious going on.
PussyFoot2000 − Jokes on you, they want you to move out
deepspacenineoneone − INFO: Where on god’s green earth are you renting a halfway decent studio for less than $1000? Not to mention utilities and internet. Sometimes trash service or laundry fees. I want to go to there.
Independent_Rain4838 − NAH You have the right to decide if you want to live in that space with your parents, pay more to live on your own, or pay less to live with (potentially more than 2) friends. You can absolutely choose to move out.
However, your parents definitely have the right to determine the amount of rent. It doesn’t matter if she is your mother. Not that this is relevant, but they too are humans with costs, and retirement to think about, and you are now an adult who doesn’t need to be supported.
In the end, the OP’s choice to move out rather than pay $600 a month to stay in her parents’ home is a bold assertion of her independence. It’s not about abandoning family, but about recognizing that her circumstances have evolved and so must her living arrangements. Her decision invites us to reflect on how changing financial realities can reshape family dynamics.
What would you do if your rent suddenly skyrocketed at home? Have you ever had to re-evaluate a long-standing living arrangement when your financial situation improved? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how to balance familial obligations with personal independence.