AITA for telling my husband to lose the entitled attitude and do s**t for himself?

A Reddit user seeks clarity after confronting her husband about his entitled behavior following a recent promotion. She questions whether she overstepped by snapping at him after weeks of feeling undervalued in their partnership.

‘ AITA for telling my husband to lose the entitled attitude and do s**t for himself?’

Just recently my husband (31) was promoted to assistant manager of the warehouse. We both work on the ups of 50 hours a week. I am shift manager at a behavioral disorders facility. Both jobs are very hands on and strenuous. Since his promotion he has developed an entirely different attitude. Extremely entitled and dare I say rude as all f**k. He is always boasting and bragging. This has been going on for 3 weeks.

So, some examples are as followed: on his days off he wants the house to be radio silent. If our 4 year old wants to play, he tells her to stick to her bedroom because he needs peace and quiet after “working so hard”. If I make our daughter lunch, he will immediately say “wheres mine?” He asks me to grab him things damn near constant all hours of the night.

He expects nightly back rubs but if I ask he will scoff at me and say “I worked all day” (even if I had as well). He expects meals that HE likes made every night, regardless if me or our daughter like the meal or not. He also now acts like he has full say over the money because he “makes more”.

Last night was the tip of the iceberg for me. Before this I let a lot of s**t slide because it was a recent promotion and hell, hes excited! So, I get it. But last night around like 11pm (I was in bed scrolling through my phone) he comes into the bedroom, lays down and says “babe you should go make me some ice cream. I want the chocolate drizzle on it. And oh, dont forget the cashews!” Then he starts scrolling through his phone. I ignore it because I feel at this point I was going to snap. He then shook my leg and said “Did you hear me?”

So I responded with “Yeah. I did hear you and no. Go make it yourself. You were literally just out there. Your sense of f**king entitlement is way out of line. Do s**t for yourself.” He became offended and instantly, like f**king clock work, said “But I worked all f**king day!” So I snapped back with “Yeah, I did too! In fact, I worked 12 hours to your 8. Like I said, do s**t for yourself.”

He is now saying that he is not acting entitled and that I was just taking my bad day out on him and that everything I said makes him feel unappreciated.. AITA? Did I push it too far?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

lynne620 −  NTA someone needs to knock your husband off his high horse. You two need to have a serious talk that at home you’re equals and he’s not the boss. Hell, if he’s treating employees like this, things won’t go well at work either. Husband and I work an equal amount of hours so we split the chores and take turns cooking. Sounds like he needs to pitch in too.

ProudBoomer −  NTA, and if that’s how your husband is acting at work his stint as an assistant manager will be a short lived one. For the sake of his career, he needs to learn the difference between being a boss and being a leader.

lisainpurgatory −  NTA. Girl, nip this in the bud now before it goes any further. I understand he got a promotion, but he needs to reel it in. Tell him to grow up, stop acting like a child, you work just like him and make him stop throwing money in your face. Also, just because his job is strenuous doesn’t give him the right to act like a d**k. Good luck!

TheseF—ingGhosts −  NTA. Wow…NTA. Nip it in the bud unless you want your child learning that this is okay for her future. Don’t let yourself be silenced – you are 100% in the right. Even if you hadn’t worked all day – you’re still not his maid, you’re not his servant.

And your daughter having to stay in her room because he wants silence? He can go to his room if he wants to be left alone not make the four year old be confined to a room. I would never let my child be treated like a second class citizen ever but especially not in her own home. She and you have just as much a right to exists him Make noise, take breaks and say no just like him. You are both people as well and should be treated as such.

EonBlueDelusion −  NTA. Though I will say you should’ve said something much sooner, before you were ready to snap on him. But yeah, get that under control now or it’ll ruin the two of you.

Dropthebanhammer101 −  NTA. Feed this man chicken nuggets. That’s all he gets is chicken f****** nuggets until he starts acting the way he needs to start acting.

EGSam −  NTA. He was acting like an ass and you gave him a reality check.

90sLady −  NTA. His behaviour needs to change. But you two need to learn how to communicate with each other. He saw this as a one time thing because you didn’t tell him about all the other times his action towards you and your child bothered you. Try to stay calm and have an actual conversation about how he hurt you and how tired you are after your workday and how there are things he should be doing around the house because you two are equal partners.

hello_friendss −  NTA you brought your husband back to earth. He was put on notice and you need to continue to put him on notice for all those small requests or else it will continue to be a reoccurring theme of selfishness and entitlement.

[Reddit User] −  Someone seriously feels entitled because they are an assistant manager? You don’t get to be entitled as a junior executive, let alone ASSISTANT manager. I remember working with an assistant manager when I was in high school. She was cool. Know why? She was in my SAME GRADE!