AITA for telling my friends I can’t afford to split holiday costs equally and that I’ll only pay for the activities I can budget for?

A Reddit user shared their dilemma about planning a holiday trip with friends who have larger budgets. The user expressed their financial constraints, suggesting they’d only join activities they could afford rather than splitting all costs equally.

While some friends were understanding, others were upset and argued that splitting evenly is the norm for group trips. Was the user wrong for setting this boundary? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my friends I can’t afford to split holiday costs equally and that I’ll only pay for the activities I can budget for?’

A few friends and I are planning a holiday trip together. We’ve been talking about all the activities we want to do, but some of the options are really expensive, like fancy dinners and guided tours.

Since my budget is a lot tighter than theirs, I told them that I’d love to join but would only be able to pay for the activities that fit within my budget rather than splitting all costs equally. This didn’t go over well with a couple of friends.

They feel that splitting everything equally is just “what friends do” and that it’s awkward if I go off to do my own thing for cheaper options while they stick to the pricier plans.

One friend even said that if I’m not willing to split everything evenly, I should reconsider going on the trip. Now I’m wondering if I’ve been unreasonable by setting a boundary about what I can afford. AITA for telling my friends I won’t be able to split all costs equally?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Ok-Horror-1049 −  NTA!!! Firstly, congratulations for doing the right thing and having the “money convo” BEFORE the trip! Secondly, NO- that is not “just what friends do”.

Yes, some friend groups may work that way, but in this instance, REAL friends would understand that you are coming to them and explaining reasonably what you can afford. Why are they against you splitting the things you can and bowing out of the things you can’t?

It’s not like they will be paying extra for you… I mean, if your friends would like to know what MY friend group would do\~ we would pitch-in and cover for you on the things you couldn’t afford because we can (how do they like the table-turn there???) That’s what (me and) MY friends do…

KBD_in_PDX −  NTA! Th beauty of planning trips as adults is that everyone can decide what they want to do, what they CAN do, and whenever there’s downtime, you’re all together… Traveling with friends is supposed to be fun, and isn’t all about having the headcount to split all of the costs.

It sounds like your other friends have different priorities, and they were looking for the headcount to subsidize the pricy activities they want to do… You’re traveling more for the experience of hanging out with your friends, etc. It’s very normal for friends to break up into smaller groups, or to do their own things while traveling.

MerlinBiggs −  NTA. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. Don’t sound like very good friends.

Secret-Bowler-584 −  NTA. Those particular friends are voicing their displeasure because they want you to partially fund their activities. That’s a hard pass for me.

junglemice −  NTA. Your friend is being overly rigid. It does not have to be all or nothing. I get that it’s frustrating if there’s an expensive activity that is cheaper if mass-booked, but the reality of your group dynamic is that you are, by the sounds of it, a group of varied disposable-income. This is the reality of a trip together.

Your solution is a reasonable one. As would be suggesting that they keep the pricy activities to a minimum / only do things everyone can afford seeing as part of the point is to spend time adventuring together, I’d assume. It’s not your job to subsidise the pricier activities. Your suggestion was a fair compromise.

originalfeatures −  NTA. Friends don’t want friends to go into debt so they can cut their own costs / not feel awkward.

Clean_Factor9673 −  NTA. Friends don’t try to get others to subsidize their meals, activities and vacations. You might want to rethink both the vacation and alleged friends

Extension-Issue3560 −  I’m not going to call you TAH , because you are being careful with your finances , and I appreciate that. I do think you should refrain from this trip.

It seems the whole point is to do everything together, as a group . By you not participating in the activities , it makes things awkward , and defeats the whole point of being a group.

Logical_Read9153 −  NTA. They s**k as friends. 

Entire_Preference_69 −  NAH. If the whole point was to spend the holiday together it can be awkward for one person to constantly be leaving the group, but if you can’t afford it it is what it is.

I think it comes down to how often you would be going off on your own. Are we talking the majority of the time? Every day? All day? If it’s once or twice during the trip, I think it’s fine.

If you’re skipping a guided tour and dinner every day it defeats the purpose of going on holiday together. No one is an A H for that, but maybe you can choose a different time to plan activities with your friends that work better for you.

Do you think the user’s approach was practical and fair, or should they have reconsidered joining the trip altogether? How would you handle planning a group holiday with varying budgets? Share your thoughts in the comments!