AITA for telling my friend that she is only welcome at my house if she doesn’t bring her husband

One Reddit user, who has severe epilepsy and relies on a service dog named Onyx, recently found herself in a difficult situation with her friend and her friend’s husband. The husband, who harbors sexist views and doesn’t believe in invisible disabilities, insisted on taking Onyx for a sleepover despite the dog’s crucial role in keeping the user safe.

After an argument about Onyx’s needs, the Redditor decided that her friend was welcome to visit, but her husband was not. The friend was upset, not understanding the gravity of the situation, and now the Redditor is questioning whether she was too harsh. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my friend that she is only welcome at my house if she doesn’t bring her husband’

I know the title sounds bad please hear me out So I have severe epilepsy and have a service dog Onyx. Now Onyx does have time to cuddle and relax and be at rest and just be a dog. But  when he is working he is WORKING at keeping me alive. He’s saved my life multiple times

Now my friend has been coming over a lot recently to visit. I love her but have an issue with her husband. He’s one of those types who harbors the believe that have a d**k makes him superior to women. He also doesn’t believe in invisible disabilities and because of Onyx he’s never seen me have a seizure.

Last week they came over and her husband was being playful with Onyx which was fine as he was at rest. A little while later though the husband began asking if he could dogsit sometime bring Onyx to their place for a sleepover. I said no and explained AGAIN that Onyx is a service dog and I needed him to ya know…… Stay alive.

Her husband got an attitude and told me Onyx wasn’t a machine and I had no right to deprive him of fun. Then he pulled the I’m a man so I know more than you card by explaining that I was wrong and he was right and I could go one night without onyx and control my seizures. All this time my friend sat on the couch saying nothing.

I asked him to leave and after some huffing and puffing about how rude I am and what happened to manners and Onyx would’ve had fun they both did. Now today my friend called asking if they could stop by. I explained that I would love to have her over but her husband was no longer welcome.

She got upset and told me that he was just like that and it was hard to tell sometimes because he had never seen me have a full blown seizure. I got kinda mad and sarcastically asked her if I should purposely cause a seizure so her husband was comfortable. She just kept repeating that he meant no harm and wanted Onyx to have fun. I just told her again that she is welcome but he is not.

AITA. I feel awful and feel like I’m creating an issue but that man is just toxic energy and I worry that his disbelief of my need for a service animal will cause him to do something completely crazy.

Edit. I had to work with Onyx for two weeks at a training center before I could even bring him home so he knew exactly how to help me i.e read my body and triggers and so we worked together and we’re completely in synch. He’s extremely well trained and I feel like that might have something to do with this.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

mckinnos −  NTA. You are totally in the right here. Your comment about “purposefully causing a seizure so her husband was comfortable” was spot on. Why is it so hard for him to believe you about your condition and your needed treatment? Your friend’s an AH for defending her husband and her husband is obviously a super-AH

SeethingHeathen −  NTA. You get to choose who you invite into your home. Since his argument is that you’d be fine one night without Onyx, tell your friend that she’ll be fine for a couple of hours without her husband. (Thank you guys for the awards! Much appreciated.)

SeePerspectives −  NTA. Her: “he’s just like that”. Response: “and he’s perfectly welcome to be like that absolutely anywhere except in my home.”

chaoticsorrow −  NTA. Friend’s husband is a piece of work. On the off chance said husband is reading this – a service dog is a vital companion to people. It is not a f**king DVD you borrow when the mood takes you.

Starfleet_Auxiliary −  NTA. This is the type of person that would sabotage your dog just to “prove” his point that you don’t have a disability. Also you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

kindcrow −  NTA!!! Your friend’s husband is TA and your friend is as well, quite frankly. How could she have remained silent while he berated you because HE wanted what HE wanted?! Tell him to get his own dog and leave yours alone!

KikkioPotPie −  NTA. Cut her out too. Her enabling his crap attitude isn’t doing her any favors. Seems like she believes him over you in telling you “He meant no harm and wanted Onyx to have fun.” She doesn’t seem to grasp that he is a working dog.. NTA

Fiercegreenapple −  First of all, NTA. Second, I find it very odd that he would try to arrange a sleepover with someone’s dog. It’s not like you mentioned needing to go somewhere and couldn’t take Onyx or that he would house the dog in an emergency. He just straight up wants to take the dog to his own house for some reason. Am I insane for thinking that’s weird??

heatherlincoln −  NTA. Keep an eye on your dog, the husband sounds like the type to kidnap your dog in order to prove a point, be very careful.

Ohmannothankyou −  NTA. It’s weird as hell for him to insist on borrowing your dog even if it was only a pet.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in asking her friend’s husband to stay away due to his disrespect toward her service dog and invisible disability? Or should she have handled the situation differently to avoid causing tension? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!