AITA for telling my dad’s wife I don’t care that he’s cheated on her at least 10 times now?
A Reddit user shared a heated story about their strained relationship with their dad’s wife, who was once the “other woman” in the breakdown of their parents’ marriage.
After years of unresolved tension, the situation boiled over during one of her emotional breakdowns about their dad’s repeated infidelity. Read the full story of their confrontation below.
‘ AITA for telling my dad’s wife I don’t care that he’s cheated on her at least 10 times now?’
My dad cheated on my mom when I (16m) was 4. The reason I know this is because my dad’s affair partner/now wife is a messy person and not only is she willing to be the other woman, but she stayed with my dad even though he’s cheated on her 10 times that she knows about.
My sister (19f) and I never liked dad’s relationship with his wife and we never respected or liked her as a person either. We don’t even like him. The only reason I still see him is a judge said I had to and threatened to make my mom pay money to the courts every time if I refused to see him, and I don’t wanna do that to her.
So I go to their house and try to stay out of the house as much as possible. When we were younger this woman did try to be a second mom to me and my sister and we disrespected her to her face every time she tried. Even when she and my dad had kids together we didn’t see her any differently.
To us she was always the person who was half the reason our parents marriage ended and dad was the other half. I know people don’t like to blame the other woman. But she admits she knew. When we were younger the reason we knew so much about it is because this woman would break down and cry because mom wouldn’t speak to her.
And she went on rambling fits about how mom was being unfair and she should understand that this woman and dad were soul mates and yes she knew dad was married but they had to be together and mom should be compassionate.
She also had crying fits about us not liking her and how we shouldn’t judge people for sleeping with married men or women because they’re real people with real feelings and nobody knows what it’s like.
A few weeks ago she had another breakdown in front of me and asked why I never support her when another of dad’s affairs is found out. She told me dad cheated while she was having her last kid and I told her I know and she cried even harder and asked why I never supported her and did I know he cheated again last month.
I told her I don’t care. I said he’s repulsive but so is she and I don’t care if he cheats on her every day for the rest of their lives because she’s nothing to me. She broke down and tried to talk about all the times he cheated and I told her that I don’t care that it’s been at least 10 times.
She started yelling at me and I walked away but since that day, when my dad’s week comes, she’s whining whenever I’m nearby and trying to talk me into treating her better. And complaining because my sister blocked her when she tried to talk to her. Which came after my sister laughed at her while she was crying on the phone to her.. AITA?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
CheesyMacSauerkraut − NTA. Tell her she’s being unfair, your dad and his latest tryst are soulmates, and she needs to be more compassionate! Karma’s a b**ch!
MiffDawg − NTA. Your dad’s wife put you in an unfair position by oversharing her problems and expecting you to comfort her. She chose to stay with someone who keeps cheating, and that’s not your responsibility.
It’s understandable you don’t feel bad for her, especially given her role in your parents’ divorce. Your response might’ve been blunt, but she’s been pushing boundaries for years. You’re not wrong for being done with her drama—it’s her mess, not yours.
halljd61182 − NTA. You’re not obligated to support your dad’s wife or be her emotional crutch, especially considering the circumstances. She’s made choices that directly contributed to significant pain in your family, and it’s unreasonable for her to expect sympathy or support from you or your sister.
She actively involved herself in your parents’ marriage, and now she’s upset about facing the same issues from your dad. While it’s unfortunate that she’s in pain, her behavior—trying to guilt you into comforting her and repeatedly oversharing with you about your dad’s infidelities—puts you in a completely inappropriate position.
You’re 16, and it’s not your responsibility to handle her emotions or provide her with validation. Your blunt response might have been harsh, but it seems like a necessary boundary given her history of disregarding your feelings and boundaries.
She’s trying to force a connection with you and your sister while ignoring the hurt she’s caused, and her constant breakdowns seem more about her need for attention than genuine remorse.
It’s okay to protect yourself from toxic situations, and it sounds like you’re already doing your best to endure the time you’re legally obligated to spend there. You’re not wrong for prioritizing your own emotional well-being over her misplaced expectations.
RikkeJane − NTA. Tell her that it must s**k to be her, but that she knew he was a c**ater and she shouldn’t feel so sorry for herself because she was the other woman and did the same thing towards your mother. Tell her that karma is a b****
waterboy1523 − Maybe your dad has at least 11 souls mates? Mention that to her. Depending on the state, is that you’re 16 you may not have to go to your dads.
Lindensorry − NTA. She should know at her age that how you get them is how you lose them.
Different_Laugh_3755 − NTA. She made her choices. She is TA. I’m a n**ilist and I say yor stepmonster is TA. Cheating is wrong and disgusting
Babu–Bhaiya − NGL, your sister is so cool to just block the negativity 🎉
BlueGreen_1956 − NTA. If someone with cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. Karma can sometimes be very satisfying.
procivseth − when a man marries his mistress, it creates a vacancy.
Do you think the Redditor’s reaction to their dad’s wife’s behavior was justified given the history of the situation, or was it unnecessarily harsh? How would you handle ongoing tensions with a parent’s partner in such a scenario? Share your thoughts and opinions below!