AITA for taking kids to dinner when my wife had left food out for them?’

A dad took his kids (3 and 5) out for dinner after picking them up from daycare, only noticing later that his wife had already prepared food for them at home. When he told her about it, she became upset, saying he had wasted her effort and calling it rude.

The dad insists it wasn’t intentional, but now wonders if he was in the wrong. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for taking kids to dinner when my wife had left food out for them?’

I picked up my 3 and 5 year up from daycare on a night that my wife had to take our 12 year old to a practice. They were hungry when i picked them up and I knew they’d like to go to dinner instead of going home. Once at the restaurant I saw a text from my wife that she had made them plates before she left the house.

It was too late to change plans so we stayed and ate. The dinner she had made was a pretty basic, but it was dinner nonetheless. When my wife got back home, I told her I saw her text just a few minutes too late and we ate out. She flipped out on me for “wasting her time”.

I told her I didn’t intend to waste her time, but that didn’t matter. What I did was “rude”. Am I rude for this? Am I an a**hole?

Check out how the community responded:

shontsu −  “What are we doing for dinner” is a discussion pretty much every family has, pretty much every day, especially once kids start doing after school activities.
If you don’t currently do that, perhaps you should start.

I dont think you’re an AH for not dragging your kids away from the restaurant once you were already there, but this feels a lot like you just wanted to treat your kids and didn’t care about what was planned at home. It feels really off that what your wife and 12 y/o were doing for dinner never came into this whole thing.

Flagrant_Digress −  INFO: How frequently do things like this happen? Do you always do your best as a partner to acknowledge her contributions and balance the division of household labor?

SomeKindofName42 −  Just admit that you wanted to go out to dinner. Everyone wants that sometimes. Just be honest and make sure the food at home gets eaten at the next meal so it doesn’t go to waste.

You should have texted wife and asked if you could bring anting home for her and 12y/o though!!!!. You saw the message while at the restaurant, you should have replied right then and offered to bring something home for the other half of the family.

KittyKiitos −  YTA. She had to take care of herself and your oldest kid, and she put in extra work to make sure you and the younger kids had dinner already there for you.
You went to a restaurant, saw her text, and just didn’t update her on what you were doing, let alone make sure that she had something to eat herself.

“just saw this i’m sorry we’re already eating at a restaurant. thank you though i really appreciate it.” What happened to the food she left out? did you take care of it when you came home? A mix up is a mix up – but you still should’ve acknowledged and appreciated what she did for you.

And YOU should be starting a conversation on what dinner will look like on nights like this, so you are both on the same page.

Rastavaray −  YTA because lack of communication. Unless it’s normal to take half the family for food without checking if everyone else has eaten/wants something.

Popular-Block-5790 −  The dinner she had made was a pretty basic, but it was dinner nonetheless. I mean, you do sound kinda rude. Even if you didn’t tell her this to her face.

Radiant_Maize2315 −  YTA for being like “my wife’s dinner was pretty basic,” as if that negates the time and effort she put in. Oh, I’m sorry she didn’t work all day to tickle your little culinary proclivities on a random Wednesday night. Jfc dude.

And as others have noted… just communicate. Both of you. It takes 15 seconds to send a “dinner plans?” text.

CakeEatingRabbit −  “they like to go out to dinner” Who doesn’t? Wouldn’t your 12 year old and wife would’ve liked food from the restaurant? To me it sounds like you didn’t want to make dinner for the small kids and yourself, only thought about that and didn’t even appreciated your wife trying to do something nice (taking care of making dinner) for you.

In my family, you behaviour would definitly be seen as rude. Of course you can take out your kids… but not asking the rest of the family…

EffableFornent −  Info: does she usually have food ready, or not? Was it reasonable for you assume there wouldn’t be anything at home to eat?

Was he inconsiderate or just trying to keep the kids happy? What would you have done in his situation? Share your thoughts below!