AITA for spotting a girl at the gym while my gf was there?
Sometimes, innocent actions can cause tension in relationships, especially when it comes to interactions with other people. In this case, a guy at the gym helped spot a girl with her squat form while his girlfriend wasn’t there, and it led to a disagreement.
Now, he’s wondering if he crossed a line or if his girlfriend is overreacting. Was he just being helpful, or did he take things too far?
‘AITA for spotting a girl at the gym while my gf was there?’
I am 20, my gf is 23, and we started dating this 5 months ago. We usually work out together, but she was running late from class, so I started without her. While there, I noticed a girl struggling with her squat form as her knees were bending in unevenly, and her back wasn’t straight, so I gave her a tip to avoid injury. After that, I went back to my routine.
A few minutes later, she asked me to spot her for a heavy set. Since the gym was literally empty other than us, I agreed, thinking it was just common sense to help someone lifting heavy. I was standing pretty close to her to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt, and we ended up chatting a little after the set. I made a few jokes about her form, which made her laugh, but I didn’t think much of it as it felt like a normal gym interaction.
However, my gf arrived right at the time, and saw us like that. She didn’t say anything at the time, but later, she was really upset. She told me it looked like I was being too friendly and that helping her with her form and spotting her like that when she wasn’t there crossed a line. She also said I shouldn’t be that close to another girl in the gym, especially while joking around. I tried explaining that I was just helping someone and didn’t think it was inappropriate, but she’s still mad about it.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NakedLifeCoach – You probably could have solved this by waving your girlfriend over and introducing her as your girlfriend to the person you were spotting. NAH, but relationships take communication, and it’s up to you now, rather than arguing your point, to ask her what you could do in the future to mitigate her fears.
That said, if she’s irrationally jealous, that could also be a red flag. But typically jealousy has some basis, whether it’s her own insecurities or your behaviors, or a combination of both.
Meowowowowowmeow – Nta. But do you think it would be ok for you to walk into your girlfriend being very friendly and helpful with another guy while you weren’t there? If you are then you may reconsider your relationship as there seems to be vastly different boundaries. If you stay in this relationship without negotiating this issue, you may feel very trapped and controlled and she will constantly feel undervalued too
droqlet – Sounds flirty to me. Especially mentioning that you were standing quite close to her, chatting and joking about each other. Why are you even watching other people at the gym? I’m a female that goes to the gym too and I’d hate men for walking up to me and giving me advice. Honestly you wouldn’t be the asshole if she had asked you from the start, that’s a different situation. But YOU going up to her made ist kinda weird. Just my opinion.
Bootiebloot – Why do you need your stand close to her to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt? That’s not how spotting works (except bench press where you need to stand over the barbell to be able to grab it and is a way more vulnerable lift than any squat). You would likely just hurt yourself if she were to do anything. This sentence leads me to think yta. You were too close and flirting. Gf caught on right away. YTA.
BlueZebraBlueZebra – I feel bad for the girl squatting, she probably thought you were going to ask her out since you are the one who initiated this whole interaction. Then a minute later your gf walks in. YTA for playing dumb, people don’t normally monitor everyone else’s form in the gym.
tal_______ – morally i dont think its wrong to help someone that obviously needs it. in saying that, i know if i walked in on my bf doing that id feel some type of way about it. not bc i think hes doing anything or that hes wrong at all but just bc idk it looks off and itd stress me a bit. i think NAH overall.
What do you think? Do you think OP was wrong?