AITA for serving a pregnant woman a non-a**oholic cocktail?

A Reddit user shared a story from their experience as a waiter, where they served a pregnant woman a non-alcoholic cocktail without asking for her consent, thinking it was in her best interest.

After the woman discovered the mistake, she demanded the tip back, leading to a confrontation with the user’s manager. The user is now questioning whether they were in the wrong. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for serving a pregnant woman a non-a**oholic cocktail?’

During my shift last night, a group of four women in their late 20s came in. They were a pleasure to have as customers. They ordered four of our house cocktails to start with and then went over the menu for their entrees.

When I was on my way back to their booth with the drinks on a tray, I walked by the back side and overheard one of them talking about how she was 14 weeks along. When I rounded back, they were talking about the same topic and it was clear to me that she was pregnant. I figured her having one drink wasn’t a big deal.

They ordered their entrees and I went off to handle other tables. About five minutes later, they called me over again and asked for another round. At this point I started getting concerned, but I took the order and cheerfully said I’d be right back. This time, I went to the bartender, and asked him to make one of them a virgin cocktail.

He was confused but since he’s a good friend of mine, I told him to just trust me. A few cocktails later (hers strictly virgin) they started getting rowdy, and Mrs. Pregnant Woman was also getting into it. I figured that since she didn’t notice, things were OK. The problem came when I took them their check, and they asked to split the bill at the register.

When Mrs. Pregnant Woman got to the counter, I saw her cocktails were marked with (virgin). My bartender had edited each in the system for inventory. It was too late for me to edit them back, so I just had her pay, hoping that she wouldn’t look at the receipt. They all thanked me and left, leaving a generous tip in the process.

They were talking in the parking lot for the next short while, presumably waiting for an Uber. Several minutes later Mrs. Pregnant Woman came back and asked what (virgin) on the receipt meant. I fessed up that it meant non-a**oholic. She blank stared me for a few seconds and then asked if she had ordered a non-a**oholic cocktail.

I said no, but told her that I assumed she wanted one seeing as she was pregnant. It was a l**e lie and I’ll admit it, but she looked me in the eye and asked me to return her part of the tip. I did so. Then she talked to my manager. My manager took me into her office and literally shrieked at me until hoarse.

I stood my ground and told her that I’m not going to be responsible for FAS. She told me that she was taking me off the calendar until she decided what to do with me. She also informed me that I could get the restaurant in serious trouble for discrimination, and upon examination of my state’s laws, she is correct.

But when I talked to my mother and father about it tonight, they told me that they understood my position. The entire staff at the restaurant is against me and I think that I’m going to call in and tell my manager that I quit, but I still feel in the right here. I would like some perspective on this and if I’m the a**hole here.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Underground_Queen −  Esh but you had good intentions. She sucks for obvious reasons, you s**k because you had no way to prove she was a pregnant, you altered her drink without informing her, and you made a big decision without speaking to your manager.

Edit: if she isn’t pregnant, OP is the sole a**hole here (for the same reasons mentioned above). OP won’t even expand upon what he overheard, just keeps quoting himself saying she was definitely pregnant. And to the snarky assholes saying”is that the only way to tell if someone is pregnant?” and “let me just carry a test around”:

Obviously not, but this also isnt about the customer trying to prove she’s pregnant, it’s about OP and his choice to assume the customer is pregnant simply by overhearing a conversation. OP could’ve ASKED the customer, but he still should’ve talked to his manager first before altering someone’s food without telling them.

[Reddit User] −  Yta. Unless you saw the woman pee on a pregnancy test, you had no way of knowing for sure that she was pregnant. She could have been talking about someone else, a past pregnancy, or she could be planning to terminate the pregnancy. That wasn’t your call to make.

Khal_Aegon −  YTA. I’ve spent most of my working years in food service, and half of that time has been in management. If I was your manager, I would’ve fired you on the spot.

While I agree that pregnant women shouldn’t be drinking, you NEVER change a customer’s order without their consent. If you had an issue with her drinking, you should have taken it to your manager and let her deal with the situation.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. You don’t get to decide what another person of legal age decides to consume. Mind your own business.

Fake_Eleanor −  YTA. If you don’t want to serve her, don’t serve her, but don’t try to trick her for her own good. You would not be the a**hole if you had told her what you heard and said you didn’t feel comfortable serving her alcohol.

You also could’ve cut them all off once you saw that they were i**oxicated. That would be actually living up to your convictions and dealing with the consequences.

wasntmebutok −  YTA here, you made a lot of assumptions about a woman and a situation you don’t know anything about – she might not want to keep it, but ultimately it’s not up to you to decide what she can or can’t put into her body. In my opinion that was a pretty big violation of her freedom of choice. You did it for the right reasons I’ll grant you that, but that doesn’t make what you did right.

EiffelTowerRetreat −  NTA. The fact that so many people think that you were rude for this is disgusting.

Onelikeclockwork −  YTA here. Strictly because of how much trouble you can get the whole restaurant into for discrimination. It sucks majorly, I know that’s a s**tty position to be in. But I grew up around the bar and casino industry in Mississippi, and if your morals won’t allow you to serve a pregnant woman alcohol,

you tell another server or your manager and get someone else to serve her. Is that lady making a crappy choice? Likely. But is it worth the s**t storm that could happen to the restaurant, the potential closures and legal fees you might have brought down on your manager and coworkers? Not really.

[Reddit User] −  What the flying f**k?? It’s ESH if she has a viable pregnancy. Women who drink while pregnant disgust me to no end. I’ve seen FAS. I can’t believe anyone would willingly do that to their child.

philmcruch −  YTA altho it may have seemed like the right thing to do its not your call to make, if you had a problem serving her you could have taken it to the manager and told the manager the situation, by taking matters into your own hand you are risking everyone of your coworkers jobs.

If she wants to be an absolute b**ch she could also have the restaurant charged with fraud or “bait and switch” (she ordered an a**oholic drink and was given one without alcohol without being told)

they probably wouldn’t find in her favor but it would cost you and the company alot of money and time to fight. also “It was too late for me to edit them back” shows that you were willing to charge her full price and lie that she had been served alcohol when she hadnt

Do you think the waiter was justified in his decision to serve the pregnant woman a non-alcoholic drink, or was it an overstep of boundaries? How would you handle the situation if you were in his position? Share your thoughts and opinions below!