AITA for screaming SHUT UP at my husband?

A Redditor shared a story about a high-stress moment during an important assignment that led to them shouting “SHUT UP” at their husband, who was persistently interrupting them despite repeated calm requests for silence. To make matters more awkward, the husband’s mother was on speakerphone and heard the whole thing. Read the full story below to decide who was in the wrong.

‘ AITA for screaming SHUT UP at my husband?’

And he was on the phone with his mother on speakerphone so she 100% heard it lmao. I’m pretty sure I am TA, but let’s dig into it: I am currently enrolled in online college and was working on a very elaborate and difficult assignment. I expressed to him many times that it was very stressful and I needed to put all of my attention and focus on my assignment, and to please not speak to me until I finish it or I will lose focus. Despite this, he kept trying to talk to me.

I responded with things like, “I really need to focus on this right now”, “please don’t interrupt me”, etc. very calmly. Finally, about an hour in and I’m literally ON THE CUSP of completing the assignment. I’m on final calculations, everything has led up to this. He here comes for the 30th time to say something, and he angrily says, “When are you going to come eat!?!”

Me: I’m almost done. Please don’t interrupt my train of thought..
Him: Your food is getting cold!!
Me: I’m almost done. Please don’t interrupt my train of thought..
Him: Well when are you going-.
Me: SHUT UP!

I honestly didn’t even mean to say that. I meant to repeat “I’m almost done. Please don’t interrupt my train of thought” a third time, but instead “SHUT UP” came flying out when I opened my mouth. I was surprised that I said it and felt badly, then felt embarrassed remembering his mom was on the phone with him.

I feel like I’m TA for obvious reasons, but I also feel like I was at an extremely high stress level doing the assignment, explained beforehand that I needed to focus on it, and then throughout the entire hour kept calmly asking him not to interrupt me. So, I partly feel that he’s TA and my response was somewhat justified. He did, in fact, shut up after that lol.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

cascadia1979 −  NTA. You had repeatedly told him that you did not want to be interrupted. You told him why. He did not respect your need for privacy. And at a crucial moment he not only interrupts again, he keeps going after you repeatedly ask him to not bother you. I think “shut up” was entirely reasonable given the circumstances. He wasn’t listening to you when you asked nicely so you needed to very firmly tell him to go away.

The core problem is his constant disrespect of your need for privacy and to not be interrupted. He owes you an apology at minimum.

sillybirb1995 −  NTA – he’s so completely disrespectful to the point that I question if that behavior is sabotage. The number of interruptions and complete disregard for your pleas for peace and quiet and how often you had to reiterate why makes me wonder if he resents your successes or future success. Whether it’s that or he’s just incredibly rude, it’s insane. I hope you can get through school and this not affect your grades and ability to learn.

Shalarean −  Bolder is the important stuff. The rest is my scheduled ramble. Lol. NTA. If he had listened the first 40 times you asked, it never would have escalated to this moment. If he was that worried you needed food, he should have done what I do, which is bring in a plate (with food on it, lol) and silently set it down next to my SO.

My ADHD ass understands the focus issues, and if any of you have read any other post I’ve written, y’all can attest that I know I just can’t shut up, except I guess I’m doing it better than OPs husband!!! So, that’s new for me.

Katiew84 −  NTA. He sounds like a child. I’d never be able to be with somebody needy like that. You were nice. Multiple times. But he was being disrespectful. He deserved the “shut up.” Actually, he deserved a “shut the f**k up before I lose my f**king mind.”

Jealous-Ad-5146 −  NTA – this reminds me of when somebody just pokes and pokes at you until you snap and then they can use that snap against you.

StoneSoup76 −  You can warm up your damn food! You won’t get a second chance to get a good grade on it. He is rude and needs to respect your boundaries…. He needs to stfu!! You are not the a**hole. (Married 30 years) I would have come unglued if my husband kept talking to me and I wouldn’t have stopped at shut up either!

Ok_Sprinkles_9729 −  Is your husband a mama’s boy?. Is she someone you get along with? Since she was on the phone with him, hopefully she heard your previous answers prior to the “SHUT UP!!” Is your “work” area where you can close the door, lock it? Put a sign on it: DO NOT DISTURB UNTIL XX. PM.. Edit to add NTA.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  NTA. He sounds annoying AF. Like a toddler in a big body.

CrazyOldBag −  INFO: Is he normally this disrespectful?

ItsAllAboutLogic −  NTA please take note if it’s a repeated pattern when you’re busy on assignments. I had an ex like this. I was the bad guy when I fought back. He ended up with suicide attempts whenever I needed to focus on myself. It was draining… I’m so very glad that he’s gone (not dead, but out of my life).