AITA For Scheduling Chores?
A Reddit user shared their frustration about hosting family dinner parties and their sister-in-law’s repeated disregard for a simple request not to bring food due to family allergies and a carefully planned menu.
Despite being told multiple times to bring wine or simply show up, the sister-in-law brought cornbread to the most recent gathering. The user decided to throw it away and was confronted, leading to a heated argument. Was this response too harsh, or justified given the circumstances? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA For Scheduling Chores?’
I’m usually at work at 8am or 9am while my roommate works from home. I also have fibromyalgia so I get extremely tired after work, but I still ended up with doing everyone’s dishes. That’s fine by me but since I get tired I repeatedly state I start dishes at 6pm.
Any dishes created after 6pm will just be left to be cleaned in the morning tomorrow. Another housemate has the chore of cooking home meals half the week, but she doesn’t account for when everyone will usually be home or not.
This is weird because then she gets mad no one is eating the dinner ‘when it’s fresh’, we have reiterated that everyone is thankful to have any food at all and if she genuinely dislikes it someone else can do housecooking. She says she still wants to do the cooking.
The main point is that she works at home in the sharehouse, usually deciding her own hours. Yet she still makes dinner late, which is fine; what’s not fine is that she gets really passive aggressive (or straight up starts yelling) when I haven’t done the dishes.
If said dishes had been there for days or I hadn’t told her I can’t do dishes past 6pm then I’d understand her frustration; but they’re gone in the morning and I can’t change my work scheduling.
Should I just s**k it up and take an afternoon rest, then get up to do the dishes when she’s done making them? Or is she the odd one? Does ESH? It’s just she gets so shouty and spiteful about dishes not being done the hour after dinner’s made.
They’re just dishes, and I’m busy most of the day; I think she’s overreacting but maybe I just need to get better at time management or something. The other roommate has told me she doesn’t care either way and doesn’t want to get involved.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
hotralph − NTA. You’ve told her your limits, and she’s being super extra about it. You can’t change your schedule, she’s overreacting, honestly.
Deep_Scope − NTA. Making a schedule is the only way to work with this unruly house guest who has a lot of opinions about everything. I think you did a good way of handling this said situation, and I find the other roommate’s attitude to be rather disappointing.
SweetNothings12 − NTA, but if no compromise can be reached, this division of work simply doesn’t work. You have different schedules. You have a good reason to not stay up late and do chores later, she apparently wants to cook/eat/have the dishes done later.
If you can’t have a calm conversation about this, you should prepare your own food and do your own dishes. Other roommate can share with her if they don’t mind, but this isn’t working for you.
I wouldn’t want someone else dictating when I have to do my chores or how late I eat if it simply doesn’t work for me AND they are so rude about it.
Complete_Produce_502 − NTA, especially considering you have a chronic illness. very fair to have limits for your health and work schedule. have you considered switching chores around to something that doesn’t need to be done so consistently? like maybe you sweep/mop because that can be done at any time?
RecordingNo7280 − NTA. But with house chores, I really do think that the cook should clean up after themselves. If that makes the chore too much work relative to other assigned chores, then they should cook less nights per week.
I’ll also say this as someone who shared a house with roommates for 15+ years. I think it’s best that each person does their own cooking and dishes and buys their own food individually. It avoids many conflicts
icecreampenis − This is kind of strange to me. As an adult, I’ve always cooked for and cleaned up after myself, and house chores are more about communal spaces, like vacuuming the living room or cleaning the bathroom. It’s hard to imagine my adult life being dictated in such a way. NTA for your question, but none of it sounds sustainable.
DynkoFromTheNorth − NTA. They know when you’re available to do those dishes and have for some time now.
Effective_Olive_8420 − NTA. Leaving dishes overnight is no big deal if you are not getting pests from it.
Glittering_Cost_1850 − NTA period. This system obviously doesn’t work for roommate so the system should be each roommate does their own cooking and cleans their own dishes. I bet roommate will hate that system as well. Save your spoons and only do what you can
Away-Ad4393 − Is there room for a dishwasher?
Do you think the user overreacted by discarding the cornbread, or was it fair given their repeated requests? How would you handle a guest ignoring important hosting preferences and dietary concerns? Share your thoughts below!