AITA for saying to my parents family shouldn’t mean you get to always treat someone like s**t and still benefit from the person?

A 16-year-old Reddit user shared his ongoing struggle with his 15-year-old sister, who has treated him poorly for the past three years. Despite their previous close bond, the user’s sister began bullying him, pushing him out of rooms, insulting him in front of family, and refusing to be seen in public with him.

The user stopped doing things for her, but his parents have continued to ignore the behavior, insisting that he should forgive her because “she’s family.” After involving his grandpa, who supported his stance, the user told his parents that being family shouldn’t mean tolerating mistreatment. Read the full story below to see how the user is navigating this challenging family dynamic.

‘ AITA for saying to my parents family shouldn’t mean you get to always treat someone like s**t and still benefit from the person?’

I (16m) have one sister (15f). We were close before. Not friends but she was my sister and so I’d be there if she needed me and I wouldn’t let anyone get away with b**lying her for example. But for the last three years it’s been way different and I can’t think of a single good thing about her now. At least not in how she treats me. It started with her telling me to shut up whenever I’d talk. It could be at dinner or when we were out with family.

She’d get a real attitude about me talking and didn’t care who heard her speak to me that way. Extended family could not believe it and our parents ignored her. Then she’d push me out of rooms, pull chairs out from under me and one time she wanted me out of the house (still don’t know why) so she woke me up by slamming (and breaking) my bedroom door.

Then she’d refuse to be seen in public with me and she’d say looking at me made her want to puke. She told our parents she would rather die than be seen with me and if they wanted her to go somewhere with them they had to leave me at home.

Around that same time she was pissed that I didn’t get her a birthday gift. We always know when each other picked stuff out. I knew her interests better than our parents so mine was always a good surprise. But I told them to pick it out on my behalf. She acted so offended.

The insults keep getting worse and I’m just done. I don’t do a thing for her anymore. My parents notice and they told me I shouldn’t pull away so much from my sister and she might need me and I shouldn’t say no. I told them not gonna happen and they said she’s family. I said so and they said so I need to get over the petty stuff. I called my grandpa and in front of my parents told him what was going on.

He asked to talk to them and I could hear him yell even though they took the call off loudspeaker and he mentioned how she almost cut my head open pulling a chair out from under me at a restaurant two months ago and refused to let me sit anywhere close to her. He said they needed to get on her case and leave me alone.

My parents told me it was childish to involve grandpa like that and I told them they needed to hear from an adult. They mentioned family again and I said family shouldn’t mean you always treat a person like s**t and benefit from them. My parents said my understanding of family is poor because family are there for each other. They told me she’s my *little* sister. She’s only a year younger than me!!. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

LottimusMaximus −  NTA, your parents are toxic and enabling your sisters disgusting behaviour. Good on you for calling them out.

Ok-Control-787 −  Your parents are awful and I’m glad you realize it.. NTA. My parents notice and they told me I shouldn’t pull away so much from my sister and she might need me and I shouldn’t say no.

She will need help, for sure. You don’t need to give it and shouldn’t, unless she thoroughly changes first as a person. Your parents can, since family is so important. If family is so important your i**ot parents might want to step in and stop your sister from treating family, you, like s**t. But they’re too dumb to see that.

z00k33per0304 −  NTA family *should* be the ones that can call you out for being a spoiled little s**t. Not sure what your parents end game is when she’s being ignorant, down right rude, and violent. None of that is normal. Also not sure why the sudden change of attitude but there’s nothing to justify her behavior apart from the fact that your parents are enabling it. Good for your grandpa for telling your parents off about it.

hollsh −  Can you move in with Grandpa?

Disastrous-Sthe −  Good job for telling Grandpa, and I hope you keep continuing to tell the whole entire family. Embarrassing them is the only way. I would also keep ignoring your sis and maybe even match her energy and her actions.

Mission_Mastodon_150 −  NTA. Wtf your parents goin to do if/when your sister actually injures you ? Idiots. Wonder what they’d do if you did the same things to them that she does to you?

MsSophiaGrant −  NTA. It’s not okay for anyone, family or not, to treat you with disrespect and cruelty. You’ve been patient for years, but your sister’s behavior is harmful, and your parents should be addressing it, not brushing it off. Family should support each other, not take advantage of you. You have every right to set boundaries and stand up for yourself.

TypicalManagement680 −  NTA Your parents have completely abdicated their parental responsibility to both you and your sister. Your safety and wellbeing, not just your sister’s, is their responsibility and they are enabling the abuse of their golden child. Enforcing standards of appropriate behavior for your sister, not just against you, is their responsibility as well.

Grandpa is your advocate so let him know any and every thing about their poor parenting. Matter fact, send them this thread after it gets filled so the internet can blast them as well.

chillcroc −  Tell your parents clearly this behaviour is not acceptable and you are done with sis and them. If she can’t be civil with you, you won’t spend time around her or the family. It’s going to be painful and tough but you need to focus on your future and mental health.

Some people have worse parents, some are in foster homes, tgese are your cards, make the best of it till you are financially independent. Your sister is being brought up as entitled and ill behaved. She will get a shock in the real world- you won’t be there to help her out. Its your parents responsibility to make her a functioning and independent human being!

Cybermagetx −  Nope their understanding of family is poor. And they will be shocked when their toxic behavior causes you to drop them in a few years.