AITA for saying my sister’s family can’t temporarily move in with me and my wife due to their “pets”?

Family dynamics and housing arrangements are already complex—throw in high-stakes issues like a high-risk pregnancy and potential house guests with unconventional “pets,” and tensions can quickly escalate. In this story, a 30-year-old man and his wife, Naomi, who is 6.5 months pregnant and under strict medical advice to avoid stress, are offering temporary accommodation to his sister Kate’s family.

Kate’s new home has turned out to be uninhabitable due to construction issues, leaving her family in a difficult situation. Although the host graciously offered his large Victorian home to help out, he set one non-negotiable condition: no tarantulas, cockroaches, or any of Bob’s other insects should be brought along. When Bob refused to leave his pets behind, a heated argument ensued, and he was subsequently called out for prioritizing his pets over his family’s well-being.

‘AITA for saying my sister’s family can’t temporarily move in with me and my wife due to their “pets”?’

Family and relationship experts emphasize the importance of setting clear boundaries when accommodating others, especially in sensitive situations. Dr. Jennifer Morris, a specialist in family dynamics, notes, “When you open your home to others, particularly during a crisis, it’s essential to establish non-negotiable rules that ensure everyone’s safety and well-being. In this case, the host’s condition regarding the pets isn’t an unreasonable demand—it’s a necessary measure to protect his wife’s mental and physical health.”

Furthermore, Dr. Morris explains that in high-stress situations, the risk factors are compounded, stating, “A high-risk pregnancy warrants a low-stress environment, and if the presence of spiders or similar creatures can trigger severe panic, it’s both reasonable and responsible for the host to insist on a pet-free arrangement.”

Dr. Alan Reed, an expert in conflict resolution, adds, “When one party prioritizes personal interests—in this case, Bob’s attachment to his insects—over the agreed terms of a generous offer, it disrupts the balance and shows a lack of willingness to compromise. The host’s decision to set a firm boundary is justified.”

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The overwhelming sentiment is that the host is NTA (not the asshole). Commenters agree that given the circumstances, especially with a high-risk pregnancy involved, his condition of “no spiders” is entirely reasonable. Many applaud his prioritization of his wife’s mental and physical well-being over accommodating a family whose pet preferences conflict with household safety. Numerous users also point out that Bob’s insistence on keeping his insects, even to the detriment of his family’s housing situation, reflects poor judgment and misplaced priorities.

This story underscores that generosity has limits, especially when personal safety and mental health are at stake. While offering a home to family in need is admirable, it’s equally important to set boundaries that protect everyone involved. The host’s decision to enforce a “no insects” rule isn’t about being unkind—it’s about ensuring a safe, stress-free environment for his pregnant wife and upcoming baby.

What are your thoughts: where do you draw the line between family obligations and personal boundaries? Have you ever had to make a tough call when family demands conflicted with your own needs? Share your experiences and insights below—your perspective could help others facing similar dilemmas.