AITA for saying my babysitting rates are $35 an hour?

In an era where work-life balance and personal time are increasingly valued, a young software engineer’s approach to babysitting has ignited a heated family debate about the worth of personal time and professional skills.

The Backstory

During the Christmas break, a 24-year-old software engineer with a full-time job and a freelance coding side hustle found herself in an unexpected confrontation with her cousin. While visiting her parents in a rural area, she was asked to babysit her cousin’s three young children for three full days.

‘ AITA for saying my babysitting rates are $35 an hour?’

Expert Perspectives

Valuing Personal Time
Dr. Sarah Thompson, an organizational psychologist specializing in work-life balance, explains: “Professionals, especially in high-skill fields like technology, often calculate their time’s value differently. It’s not just about the task, but the opportunity cost of stepping away from potential productive work.”

Dr. Aaron Smith, labor economist at the Economic Policy Institute, explains in Forbes: “Workers in high-demand fields like tech often face pressure to undervalue their time for informal gigs. Charging below market rate for side work perpetuates wage gaps, especially for women in male-dominated industries.”

Childcare Economics
Emily Rodriguez, a family economics researcher, notes: “The standard babysitting rates vary widely, but for multiple children, rates typically escalate. Many professional babysitters charge $20-$30 per hour for multiple children, especially during holiday periods when demand is high.”

Parenting blogger and former nanny Jessica Hale (The Care Gap) notes: “In rural areas, babysitting averages $15–$25/hour for three kids. However, last-minute holiday care often commands premiums. OP’s $35/hour isn’t outrageous given the short notice and lost income from freelancing.”

Gender Dynamics in Professional Valuation
Dr. Michael Chen, a sociologist focusing on workplace dynamics, observes: “The husband’s dismissive comment about her being a ’24-year-old girl’ reveals problematic gender dynamics. Reducing a professional woman’s time to a minimal value reflects broader societal issues of gender-based professional devaluation.”

Sociologist Dr. Lila Chen’s 2022 study (Gender & Society) reveals women are 34% more likely to be asked for free familial childcare. “Dismissing OP’s rates as ‘stupid’ while invoking gendered insults (‘24-year-old girl’) reflects systemic devaluation of women’s professional time,” she argues.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Redditors largely backed OP, praising her for valuing her time in a male-dominated field. Critics argued family should receive discounts, while others condemned the cousin’s husband for sexist remarks. A vocal minority deemed OP’s rate unrealistic, urging her to simply decline.

Practical Considerations for Family Childcare

For Families Seeking Childcare:

• Plan and arrange childcare well in advance
• Respect the professional time and skills of family members
• Be prepared to compensate fairly for extensive childcare
• Understand that personal time has value

For Professionals Offering Childcare:

• Clearly communicate your availability and rates upfront
• Be transparent about opportunity costs
• Maintain professional boundaries
• Understand the emotional nuances of family dynamics

This incident highlights a broader conversation about valuing personal time, professional skills, and family expectations. While babysitting rates vary, the fundamental principle remains: personal time is valuable, and professionals have the right to set boundaries.

How do you navigate childcare arrangements within your family? What do you consider a fair rate for babysitting?