AITA for refusing to to let my husband’s infertile friend name our son?

A Reddit user shared a difficult situation with her husband’s best friend, Will, who is infertile and deeply struggling with not being able to have kids. Upon learning the couple was expecting a baby, Will became emotionally invested, showering them with gifts and baby decor. When they announced the gender, Will suggested a baby name he had always planned to use if he could have children. He begged them to use it, and the husband agreed, calling it a “done deal”. The wife, however, refused, asserting that naming their child is their right as parents, not something to be done for someone else’s closure. Tensions flared, and now she wonders if she’s heartless for not agreeing to her husband’s request. Invite readers to weigh in below!

‘ AITA for refusing to to let my husband’s infertile friend name our son?’

My husband (m33)s best friend (m37) Will is infertile. He got divorced 2 times because of it and because he lied and hid his infertility. And his life hasn’t been the same the day he was told he can’t have kids.

He has always had a soft spot for children and when he found out that my husband and I are expecting, he was so thrilled and started buying us gifts and decore pieces that he made from his woodwork for the baby. My husband thinks that those are all nice gestures but I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable especially with how much he keeps mentioing the baby.

A few days ago, my husband and I found the gender of the baby. The minute we told Will, he started calling the baby a random name he picked and was going to give to his baby if he wasn’t infertile. He then started begging us to use this name and my husband said it was a “done deal”.

I refused but my husband called me heartless and asked me to do this one small, nice gesture for his struggling friend to give him closure and honor him after all the things he has done for us. I flipped and said it’s my baby not his. Will heard this and left immediately.

My husband yelled at me saying it’s his baby too and my behavior towards Will was abhorant. He left after him and didn’t come back til the morning. He kept saying the same thing and pressuring me to agree on the name but I refused.

AITA for choosing this hill to die on?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

AmIDoingThisRight14 −  NTA Is your husband also building his friend an art room in your house?. ETA: thanks for the awards! And for those who have no idea what I’m referring to here is a link to the BORU since the original was deleted. Enjoy!

softanimalofyourbody −  NTA and since this is AITA I’m assuming your husband is in love with Will and they plan to run off together with your child. please update 🙏🏻

squirreltrap −  NTA- mom and dad have rights to name the baby. Nobody else. Mom doesn’t like a name? Doesn’t get included in the list of potential names. Dad doesn’t like a name? Doesn’t get included in the list of potential names.

Why is your husband picking a friend over his wife? That should be your concern here. Also your husband is TA- his friend needs therapy, not to pick baby names “for closure”. Your husband is actually a bad friend for entertaining this.

gleaming-the-cubicle −  “Sure you can name my baby. No need to talk to my spouse about it, either. This is clearly more important to you than to her!”. NTA

sunfries −  Kinda sounds like youre the incubator for husbands/wills kid. NTA this is terrible

KingPiscesFish −  “Small thing” to do? **You are the one pregnant with this child, IT IS YOUR BABY!** Who the hell says that for NAMING a whole human being? Why is your husband letting Will be like a “second dad” to his own kid? Unless the name is after a family member perhaps, there shouldn’t be a third person outside the couple when naming a kid. When naming a kid-both parents (JUST THE PARENTS) should agree on a name. It does not matter if Will is infertile or fertile.

I’d honestly consider rethinking this marriage- it sounds like there are three people in this marriage by the way your husband is with Will. Joking kind of, but holy crap this is another level. *The fact your husband is prioritizing his friend over you, his wife, is so concerning.*. **NTA in the slightest bit.**. Edited because I misread something

saintphoenixxx −  NTA. Will is creepy as f**k and 100% will try to steal your baby.

Legitimate-Meal-2290 −  NTA, this is a hill to die on. If Will’s feelings are that much more important than yours to your husband, they can make their relationship official, adopt a baby and use the name.

LCJ75 −  Will did not get divorced 2x because he is infertile. He got divorced because he lied about it. His moral compass is concerning and this is another example. He needs therapy.. NTA

kaleidoscope_view −  Next thing you know your husband might start building an art studio for this guy in your house. EDIT … Call me petty, but the fact that the top comment on this with almost 40k likes was posted after my already derived joke, irks me for some stupid reason. My lizard brain is REEEE-ing “I used this overused joke first God damn it”-!

Should parents have the final say in naming their child, or is this a small gesture they could have made to help a friend? Is it fair to expect such a personal sacrifice for someone else’s emotional healing? Share your thoughts below!