AITA for refusing to talk to my in-laws about my infertility?

A Reddit user shares their frustration with their mother-in-law, who continues to make hurtful comments about their infertility journey despite being asked to stop. The user and their husband have been trying to conceive for over two years and are now planning for IVF.

The user feels uncomfortable discussing the process with their mother-in-law, especially as her remarks continue to undermine their struggles. The user is questioning whether they’re wrong for setting boundaries with her on this sensitive issue. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to talk to my in-laws about my infertility?’

My husband I have been trying to conceive for over 2 years, which comes with its only struggles. Recently my mother-in-law is making comments about “just wanting a grand baby already” or “are you even really trying?” These comments are becoming more often than when we first started trying.

I have asked her to stop with the hurtful comments. My husband has asked her to stop, and she keeps make comments whenever we bring up the next step on the infertility journey. For example, we have an appointment on Friday to plan our IVF journey. She responded “I think you guys just need to get drunk & boom baby.”

AITA for not feeling comfortable talking about the infertility with her? She is still coming to thanksgiving, and I still talk to her when around I just don’t want to keep updating her on this journey when she just makes me feel like crap.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

RussianCat26 −  NTA. The first time they said this, I wish you had the confidence to loudly stand up and tell them to stop asking him about your s** life. You now have an opportunity to do that every single time they bring it up. Embarrass them..

Anytime they bring it up: “In laws names, why do you keep asking about what we do in the bedroom?” .”Why do you care about our s** life so much”. “How inappropriate to ask about our s** life, who raised you”.

Any parent who is that deeply concerned with what their adult children are doing in the bedroom is actually a sicko. Don’t make this about your struggles with conceiving because that’s yours to deal with privately, just make it so f****** awkward for them to ever ask again.

[Reddit User] −  Answer her with graphically s**ual details, they don’t need to be actual details about your s** life, but be really gross. “Oh we’ve been doing reverse-bat-wing-orgy-c**-bucket woo hoos 6 times a day, for the last 3 weeks! Banged one out on your sofa, sorry about the smell!”

Does she text you about it? Send her links from p*rn hub. It is crass? Absolutely! But her nosiness is MORE crass. Is my idea risky and controversial and not for everyone? Yes lol. I mean you could also say “we aren’t taking questions or feedback about our s** life at this time, weirdo”. Teach her the FAFO lesson.

LaurelCrash −  NTA at all. Try a deadpan expression with “all these questions are only causing stress…and stress makes it more difficult to conceive,” or an even more direct “I find your questions intrusive and inappropriate. I will share what I feel comfortable sharing, and if you persist in badgering me then I’ll be less inclined to share any news with you.” If she brings it up again, walk away.

Hopefully she’s well-intentioned and will take the “hint,” but if she persists in her cluelessness at least you won’t have to listen to it. If she continues, then limit contact. You DON’T need the stress.

cndnsportsfan −  NTA. Read a freakin room. I find it so distasteful and disrespectful when people bring up procreation causally and guilt people around them. I’m also tired of family playing the grandparent card. Some people do not want to or cannot conceive, and it’s hurtful that they should get reminded of that constantly. I hope everything goes well for you, OP. Getting pregnant is stressful enough as it is without inlaws harassing you.

Ok_Homework_7621 −  NTA. You’ve asked her to stop. Now it’s time to show her you mean it. She says something, the conversation is over and you’re out of there. Even if it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas or her own birthday. Don’t invite her to yours so it’s easier to get away.

She doesn’t need more info. If she doesn’t respect your request on it’s own, she just doesn’t respect you, full stop. If you end up having a kid, she will get much worse so it would be really good to get her used to boundaries now.

radicalcoach −  NTA – “Thank you so much for caring about us in our child journey. Due to this being a very sensitive subject for me, I request you no longer mention having children or child bearing around me. If you have difficulty with this request, then I will simply distance myself every single time you mention it.

There will be no other warnings. If you talk about it, I will simply get up and leave. Thank you for your understanding.” Then you follow through each and every time she does it. You just get up and walk out the door and go and wait in the car for your husband to catch up.

Ticklefeather −  I say go totally crude: “I f\*ck your son as much as he is physically able. Would you like to supervise?”

loveleighiest −  Had the same problem but we didn’t want kids. I just made them as uncomfortable as I felt lol. I’d say things like “idk I swallow everytime. You’d think one would take by now.” , “we have s** like 5 times a day but he really likes to c** in my butthole. Maybe you should have a life talk with your son on how a woman gets pregnant, he doesn’t beileve me.” (I’m pretty sure my husband still hasn’t forgiven me for this but man the look on her face was priceless), “we have to wait to try again.

Your son said his penis is too raw for me constantly riding it. He can’t c** when we use the numbing lube. Any tips on how to make his penis hard and less sensitive?”, “oh okay. We’ll try right now, do you mind of we use your bed, couch, or would you prefer we use the shower?” She stopped asking me a long time ago lol.

wlfwrtr −  NTA Next time she brings anything up about a baby say, “Since you know so much about it why don’t you tell us about your s** life. How often do you have s**? Do you prefer morning, night or in between? What position do you like best? Do you like missionary position or doggy style? Which room do you prefer to have s** in? Do you do it anywhere in the house? Have you ever done it on the dining room table? What kind of toys do you use?” If she wants to ask personal invasive questions then do the same to her.

Jess1ca1467 −  NTA and she’s an awful person, it’s intrusive, hurtful and rude – your husband needs to tell her to stop or you won’t see her anymore.