AITA For Refusing to meet my sister on Christmas after she called CPS?

A grieving father shared his experience of being reported to Child Protective Services (CPS) by his own sister after disagreements about how he was raising his daughter. The CPS visit resulted in a permanent record, despite the allegations being proven false.

Months later, his family is pressuring him to reconcile with his sister during Christmas, claiming she regrets her actions. However, he refuses, prioritizing his daughter’s well-being and his own boundaries. To find out more about the situation and how others responded, read the full story below…

‘ AITA For Refusing to meet my sister on Christmas after she called CPS?’

I M37 lost my wife of 10 years and it was so devastating for me and my daughter. It’s unfortunate but life goes on no matter what happens. My family knows how much I struggle as a single dad and my sister doesn’t really get it. She had issues with my late wife in the past but now started “helping” with my daughter.

She re-decorated my daughter’s room without my consent, she’d insist I let my daughter go spend days at her house but my daughter is comfortable at her home. She then started calling my daughter with another name and I’m still trying to understand her logic behind this.

I told her to stop doing those things and to be respectful and supportive and she defended herself saying I’m lashing out of grief. I recently. started teaching my daughter to do stuff on her own like brush her hair/clean her room/wash her cups/make sandwiches while I take care of bigger stuff. My sister said that what I’m doing is wrong.

That I’m giving her more than she can handle. She’s just a kid and although I told her I’m teaching my daughter to be more independent she said that I’m clearly doing this for my own benefits and avoiding responsibility. I got into a fight with her about it. Told her she has zero say in this. And the next day.

A CPS Officer came to my house and took a tour around the house. My first thought was “maybe he got the wrong house” until he started reading the report to me saying that I’m never home and that I make my daughter do things that aren’t her responsibility,

neglecting her education (btw she’s homeschooled) and that I’m not taking care of basic hygiene and whatnot. I told the officer my story and explained that I’m adapting as a single parent and he proceeded to aske my daughter some questions. It was clearly a false report. However I was told that I will have a permanent record with CPS.

and I was shaken up by this. I told my family about it and my younger sister told me that my sister was the one who called CPS after we had a big argument. I was so mad I confronted her after she hid herself. Called her immature and stupid to pull this crap (she’s in her 40s) and that she’s no longer my sister.

Then cut contact. It’s been months and now my dad started bringing her up knowing how uncomfortable I was. He said that my sister feels sorry for what she did and wanted to talk things out on Christmas dinner.But I said no. He and the others insisted saying that I should be the bigger person.

the family will be incomplete without me and my daughter on Christmas. Saying I refuse to be a “civil adult” to solve the issue that is dividing the family. I yelled and said that my daughter and I don’t have to go after what she did, doesn’t matter if she has issues on her own and didn’t “mean it” and was just concerned.

wtf was she so concerned about? They demanded that I at least let my daughter go be with them >>and her auntie << on Christmas.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Longjumping_2390 −  NTA Calling CPS just because you’re angry is wrong. She took time away from children who are being neglected and need help to get back at you. Not wanting to have her around your family is a normal response, she proved herself to be a danger to your family.

Curiousnaturejunk −  Of course you are NTA, you sound like a good dad doing your best in a really tough situation. Her behavior sounds absolutely bizarre, like she is trying to take over as your daughter’s “mother” now that your wife has passed away.

Calling her by another name? And then calling CPS when that didn’t work? Was she hoping to get custody?. How old is your daughter?

morbidmoth42 −  NTA she literally tried to rip your child away from you to be petty. That’s not an ” oops” situation.

NannyOggsKnickers −  NTA. It sounds like your sister randomly decided that now your wife is gone this her chance to be Mum to her niece. Unfortunately for her, your daughter still has a loving parent that is actively involved in her life – you.

I think that CPS and similar social services will generally try to place children removed from their parents with close family, such as grandparents, or aunts and uncles. So your sister gets your daughter removed from your care, steps forward saying she has plenty of space and your daughter is used to staying around her house,

and gets to play Mum with your child. She even had a new name for her, which is downright delusional. You don’t mention how old your daughter is, but learning personal hygiene, how to do some basic washing up, and making yourself some cold food, are all appropriate things to teach kids.

Otherwise they grow up to be crappy adults that need to be waited on hand and foot and struggle to cope in the real world. I’d make it quite clear to your father that there is no apology your sister can give to make up for trying to steal your daugher, and that under no circumstances will your daughter be having visits without you present.

Otherwise there’s nothing to stop your sister fabricating more claims (“she showed up with these bruises”, “she showed up with unclean hair and dirty clothes”) and making a second attempt at CPS intervention.

owlcityy −  NTA Not only did your sister overstep her boundaries but she was very inconsiderate towards how you were teaching your daughter to become more independent. It’s definitely important to teach a child early on how to practice hygiene on their own. I’d be furious if I was in your shoes. I’m surprised your family doesn’t understand why you would be so upset.

zadidoll −  How old is your daughter? Based on what you wrote, your NTA but she sure is. That CPS report can haunt you EVEN if nothing comes of it. She ruined your reputation & your daughter shouldn’t have any further contact with her. Your child, your rules & if that means grandparents have less time with her at their home then so be it.

CamelotMom16 −  NTA. My 4-year-old knows how to do some of that stuff. Supervised, but still. Teaching kids how to take care of themselves is not only is going to help them be healthier adults but builds confidence while they’re children. It is very healthy and normal for them to know how to do things for themselves.

Her having a new name picked out for your daughter is a weird and HUGE red flag!! I’d say this was coming down the pipeline, fight or not. I would remain very, very firm on this boundary and not allow her to have any contact or relationship with your daughter.

If your parents don’t like that, they can figure out how to be more involved in ways that don’t involve your p**cho sister. Family members who enable crazy people don’t necessarily deserve the title of family either.

scarsandstories −  NTA – seriously consider going no contact. this woman is insane.

JCWa50 −  OP:. NTA. The moment that CPS called on a false report, is the moment that you go NC with that person. And if your father and family are going to support your sister, you cut them off, do not go or take your daughter to Christmas. As far as you are concerned they can pound sand.

Then take some time, decorate the tree, get your daughter into the kitchen, make cookies, make a cake, plan a nice christmas day around it being you and her. If they call, let it go to voice mail. If they show up, tell them to go, if they do not call the cops and press charges. In short, you are going to focus on what is important,

you and your daughter. If they keep it up, take a look and think about moving to another location, farther away from all of them, where they have no real way to get to you or your child. Also you may want to consider, if you were on good terms with your inlaws, say spending christmas with them, to allow for them to see their grandchild.

Make plans and just do not trust the one sister or your parents for that matter. They made a choice, to get triangulated in this, and support her. That was their mistake.. Yours would be to give into them.