AITA for refusing to let MIL spend the night in my bedroom and lock the door?

When my husband and I got married, we set clear expectations about our private space. Living in our home away from his parents, I wasn’t expecting anyone—especially not my MIL—to dictate how our bedroom should be used. When she unexpectedly visited and requested to sleep in our master bedroom with the door locked, I felt it was a gross overstep. I politely suggested alternative arrangements like the guest room, couch, or even booking a hotel, but she wasn’t having it. My husband, however, encouraged me to let it slide just for one night, which only fueled the tension further.

As the situation escalated, I stood my ground, not wanting to be pushed out of the room I share with my husband or have my personal space invaded. The fallout left my MIL in tears and my husband upset, accusing me of disrespect. Now, with family members weighing in against me and my husband complaining that I’m damaging his relationship with his mom, I need to know: am I really the AH here?

‘ AITA? For refusing to let MIL spend the night in my bedroom and lock the door?’

Establishing and maintaining boundaries in a marriage is essential, especially when it comes to personal space. According to family relationship experts, a couple’s bedroom is a private sanctuary that should remain exclusively theirs. Allowing a guest—even a close family member—to intrude into this space, particularly under the pretext of feeling safer with the door locked, is not a reasonable expectation. It undermines the couple’s autonomy and can lead to long-term resentment.

Psychologist Dr. Melissa Hartman explains, “Boundaries are vital in any relationship, and a private space like a bedroom should be respected by all parties. When someone oversteps these boundaries, it not only disrupts the individual’s sense of security but can also destabilize the relationship.” By suggesting alternatives and sticking to my decision, I was advocating for healthy boundaries, something many couples need but often struggle to enforce.

Furthermore, the issue here isn’t just about the night’s sleeping arrangements; it’s about respect. My MIL’s insistence on occupying our master bedroom, despite being provided other options, shows a disregard for our marital space. My husband’s reluctance to defend this boundary only exacerbates the problem, suggesting a deeper issue with enabling overbearing behavior. Respecting personal space isn’t about being unwelcoming—it’s about preserving the intimacy and privacy that are essential for a healthy marriage.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community has been overwhelmingly supportive, with many users highlighting that it’s entirely reasonable to expect your bedroom to remain a private space. Comments pointed out that if MIL wants to be a guest, she should adapt to the house rules, not demand special accommodations that infringe on your marital privacy. Many agreed that my husband’s reaction, including choosing to stay at a hotel with his mother, raises serious concerns about his boundaries.