AITA for refusing to leave my boyfriend’s birthday party that I arranged for because his doctor friends wanted to discuss “Medical stuff” ???
A Redditor (29F) arranged a birthday party for her boyfriend (34M), but things took a turn when his doctor friends began ignoring her and making rude remarks. The situation escalated when they asked her to leave so they could discuss work-related topics, leading to a confrontation.
Her boyfriend ended up siding with his friends, and now he’s upset that she ruined his birthday. Read the full story below:
‘ AITA for refusing to leave my boyfriend’s birthday party that I arranged for because his doctor friends wanted to discuss “Medical stuff” ???’
So for context my f29 boyfriend m34 is a doctor, Most of his friends are from work and they all seem to dislike me and act distant maybe cause I’m not a doctor too? Idk and don’t care honestly, since we started dating they’ve been asking to hang out without me and they leave any event I’m at. My boyfriend said they’re just taking their time to get used to me.
Anyways, His B-day was days ago, I’d arranged for the party and paid for everything. It wasn’t a surprise since the party was held at the restaurant, and he needed heads up so he could invite his doctor friends. We got there then his friends started arriving, They came to greet him and started shaking his hand and hugging him while completely ignoring me though I was there next to him!.
The tension started when one of them started making remarks about the way I dressed, I sucked it up but another friend started interrogating me about my degree then implying I was an ignorant for my food choice (wtf?). An hour later another one asked if I could leave because they wanted to discuss work stuff and it’s confidential.
I was so shocked I laughed asking why he thought it was appropriate to discuss work during a party and he replied that I had an “attitude”. An argument ensued and they ‘demanded’ that I leave but I said absolutely not,
My boyfriend finally spoke up after it escalated and asked that I keep the peace and go home but I refused and reminded him and let his friends know that I’d arranged for this party and paid for it and so they should leave since they’re just “guests”. He pulled me aside and begged I go home after they said if I don’t leave then they will but I still refused.
They left, all of them and the party was cut short. my boyfriend was upset and started complaining at home that I ruined his B-day the minute I started arguing with his friends. I told him they were being dusrespectful to me but he said I was wrong too cause they said they wanted to discuss medical stuff
and I should’ve respected that and not made it “personal”. He’s not speaking to me now, I was so hurt I couldn’t argue anymore, I felt like I ruined his birthday by making a scene like he said and acting pass-aggressive.. AITA?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Jintess − Use that red flag as a cape and fly away. NTA
woodsj06 − NTA. Are you dating Satan? What type of boyfriend asks you to leave the birthday dinner you paid for! Feel the joy that you ruined his stupid birthday and d**p him ASAP!
tarnishau14 − NTA. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. He chose his “friends” although you arranged everything. Asking you to leave was incredibly rude – and that is without you hosting. You deserve someone who treats you better.
tatasz − NTA. You know your bf doesn’t respect you, right? He clearly cares more about his doctor friends. If you remain together, he will keep hiding you in his backroom. He should be the one to apologize for not standing up to you. D**p his sore b**t, he can have his doctor friends, you can do better. If you take him back for some reason, make sure he pays for your bday party and then ask him out to have a girls only night.
GreenHedgehog2 − What the hell. NTA. Who in their right mind walks into the party as a guest and asks the birthday boys girlfriend to leave because you want to talk about a certain topic,
the actual audacity of it all why would anyone go somewhere that is public with other people there and expect everyone to just f**king leave at your convenience. Then your BF asks you to leave too wtf, just change the topic. He needs to grow a backbone stand up to them and also treat you with respect
Hi_Im_Dadbot − NTA. The problem isn’t your bf’s friends. It’s your bf. He doesn’t respect you and he’s unwilling to stand up for you. If someone had talked to my wife that way, he’d be tossed out of the house, but your guy couldn’t even bother to argue in your favour. Maybe find someone else who actually likes and respects you.
CallieB3rry − Your boyfriends colleagues are TA for discussing confidential medical information in a public setting.
[Reddit User] − I have a hard time believing this is real. Umyasssqueen29, but if it is, you should have left, not paid, and never spoken to your doctor ex again. NTA
panzer22222 − This scenario makes zero sense, room of docs asking you to go home, there has to be a lot more to this story.
Julia070000 − This is not real…
Is the Redditor in the wrong for standing her ground when her boyfriend’s friends disrespected her at his own birthday party? Or should she have swallowed her pride and left to avoid conflict? What would you have done in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.