AITA for refusing to leave a wedding because I wore a dress that looks white under a black light?

A Reddit user (let’s call her 30F) attended her close friend’s wedding wearing a bold, bright yellow dress—think Belle from Beauty and the Beast yellow. Throughout the day, she received compliments, including from the bride, and had a great time.

However, when the venue turned on black lights towards the end of the reception, her dress appeared white under the glowing lights. A member of the wedding party confronted her, claiming her dress was inappropriate and demanded she leave.

Despite explaining that the dress was yellow, the wedding party member insisted she leave, even threatening to “make her.” The user chose to stay and enjoy the rest of the wedding, as the bride and groom hadn’t left yet.

But the next day she was told by another friend that she had disrespected wedding etiquette by not leaving when asked. Now, she’s questioning whether she was wrong for not honoring the request. For more on this tense wedding moment, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to leave a wedding because I wore a dress that looks white under a black light?’

A few months ago I attended a close friend’s wedding with my husband. I wore a YELLOW dress. Think like Belle in Beauty of the beast yellow. Bumble bee yellow. So yellow that I did not question if it was appropriate or not to wear to a wedding and neither did my friends nor family.

I arrive at the wedding, we have the ceremony, the cocktail hour, the dinner and the reception. I get many compliments on the dress and the bride even comments on how much she loves it several times. Towards the end of the reception the venue dimmed the lights and turned on some blacklights.

These blacklights made my dress appear more white than yellow. A member of the wedding party approached me while the blacklights were on and stated that I needed to leave because my dress was “white” and “inappropriate.” I stated that the dress was yellow but the blacklights were making it appear white.

The member of the wedding party stated that if i didn’t leave she would “make me.” I stated I’m here to celebrate my friend, repeated that the dress was yellow and said I will not be leaving early (bride and groom hadn’t left yet and I came from overseas).

The conversation while heated, did not have raised voices or foul language from either side. But I will say it was tense. The wedding party member walked off and I watched as they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction. The groom shrugged and continued to dance.

The next morning I was approached by a different friend at breakfast (not in the wedding party) who stated that they heard what happened and that I should have left when asked because it made people “uncomfortable” and that I made it about me “partying” rather than “respecting wedding etiquette.”

I have felt incredibly embarrassed about this since….so am I the a**hole for not leaving the wedding when asked?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Ducky818 −  NTA. Who checks their attire under black lights to see if it “passes”? Ridiculousness. I understand if it appeared white under normal lights but c’mon, this was an unusual situation at the end of the reception.

You are fine and whomever approached you was completely and utterly out of line. Some people have nothing better to do than look for problems that don’t exist.

sugarsyrupguzzler −  NTA. Did the bride even care? Sounds like friends making pointless drama considering they went to the groom, not the bride. And if the bride cared, the groom would have known.

You might give the bride a call and explore. If she was offended, apologize and explain. It’s up to her to accept or not. I mean, it’s not like your dress was white during the ceremony.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. The dress was yellow. the bride even comments on how much she loves it several times. they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction.

The groom shrugged and continued to dance. They are the only people whose opinions matter. A member of the wedding party approached me while the blacklights were on and stated that I needed to leave. No. Not that person’s decision.

Mindless-Pangolin841 −  NTA Yellow is not white and unless they specifically told people not to where anything that appears white under blacklight then it’s on them. I N F O (cause I’m nosey): Has the bride or groom said anything to you? IMO if they are okay then I don’t get the “friends” causing issues.

CoverCharacter8179 −  NTA, the people who are worried about this need some actual problems in their lives. Pro tip: When they turn the lights down and put a black light on, the “wedding etiquette” portion of the evening is over and it’s about partying.

Avlonnic2 −  Let me get this right. You came from *overseas*, investing quite a lot of money, to attend a wedding. The bride heartily approved your attire. Then someone decides to change the lighting and you are treated like that?

And the bride/groom didn’t put an immediate stop to their incredibly rude wedding-party-attire-police? Unacceptable on the part of the bride and groom. You are owed a huge apology. NTA.

specialdelivery88 −  Nta although there is etiquette in this situation. It would have been better to strip to your underwear for the rest of the night

dystopiadattopia −  I have a feeling that “others” was the person who complained.

SandalsResort −  NTA but I am curious who the member of the wedding party was? The future SIL of MIL of the bride that wanted to start drama. Or maybe the attention seeking friend with a hero complex? I also find it funny that this dress was a problem at a wedding where the BRIDE and GROOM were fine with it.

Active-Anteater1884 −  NTA. Look, if the bride had asked you to leave under these circumstances … even that would have been totally inappropriate. But here you have some l**atic bridesmaid who’s gleaning her sense of self worth from playing wedding fashion cop. And your friend who commented otherwise is an i**ot. NTA

Was the Redditor wrong to stay at the wedding after being asked to leave for wearing a dress that looked white under the black lights? Or should she have respected the request, despite the misunderstanding? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!