AITA for refusing to help my parents financially after they secretly supported my “perfect” sibling instead of me?
A Redditor shared a difficult situation with their parents, who secretly funneled their savings toward their younger sibling’s education and lifestyle, leaving the Redditor to fend for themselves financially.
Recently, the parents revealed they are in financial trouble and asked the Redditor for help. Upon learning that their sibling received the funds meant for both of them, the Redditor decided to refuse financial assistance, citing fairness and self-care.
Now, the sibling and some extended family members accuse them of being heartless, arguing that they should help out despite past grievances. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for refusing to help my parents financially after they secretly supported my “perfect” sibling instead of me?’
Growing up, I was always the “self-sufficient” one. I worked hard, earned scholarships, and took on part-time jobs to pay my way through college. My younger sibling, however, had everything handed to them—new car, fully paid tuition, even an apartment.
I always assumed my parents were simply more financially stable when my sibling came along, and I didn’t want to make a fuss. Fast forward to last month: My parents called me, saying they’re in financial trouble and asked if I could help them with a loan.
I thought about it, wanting to do the “right” thing, but then something didn’t add up. So, I asked them directly why they’d spent so much on my sibling and not me. That’s when they admitted they’d actually saved up for both of us but used almost all of it to support my sibling because they “needed it more.”
I was devastated. Here I was, working myself to exhaustion to stay afloat, while they funded my sibling’s every whim, fully knowing I was struggling. I told them I can’t help them financially, as it wouldn’t be fair to myself.
Now my sibling and some extended family are calling me heartless and ungrateful, saying that “family supports each other,” and that I’m letting my parents suffer over “old grudges.” AITA for refusing to bail out my parents after learning the truth about their financial favoritism?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
MushroomRadiant4647 − NTA – Why can’t the younger sibling help out your parents? You struggled all your life to make your own way without the help of your parents, and now they need your help? I mean, they couldn’t help you before, but now they want your help? I’d definitely think twice.
lurninandlurkin − NTA. Time for your fully funded sibling to start paying back some money to your parents, especially as they say that they believe “family supports each other”.
Hawaiianstylin808 − Actually family doesn’t support each other as you can attest to. You didn’t get any. Golden child can fork over the money.. NTA.
Gohighsweetcherry − Send a message out to family telling them that you give your permission to your sibling that the (insert figure) that was saved for you but instead given to them, be given back to your parents.. NTA
blablablablaparrot − “Now my sibling and some extended family are calling me heartless and ungrateful, saying that “family supports each other,” and that I’m letting my parents suffer over “old grudges.” So they say you are ungrateful, meaning that you have something to be grateful for.
Then they say you hold grudges, meaning that you were treated unfairly and still holding on to that. Which is it? Because it’s hard to be grateful for being an afterthought. LET THEM SULK, while you live your best life that you worked hard for.
Ask your parents to approach your sibling, their main investment, for help. Tell your sibling to step up as they are your parents financial and emotional investment, not you. Move on. With or without them.. NTA
FantasticCabinet2623 − NTA. Family clearly doesn’t support each other or they would have supported you and your sister equally. Also I notice none of the flying monkeys opening THEIR wallets.
0fuksleft2give666 − Karma farming…..
fireflygal87 − If “family supports family” tell the callers to nut up and put their money where their mouth is as they are also “family”.
Prudii_Skirata − “family supports each other,”. Just tell them the truth. “Sorry, I was never taught that. The lesson given to me was that you either sink or swim.”
Spinnerofyarn − Now my sibling and some extended family are calling me heartless and ungrateful, saying that “family supports each other,” and that I’m letting my parents suffer over “old grudges.” NTA and why doesn’t your sibling step up or the extended family? Why would you since they never helped you?
They let you suffer. I’m not seeing any reason for you to help them since you know from experience that they won’t help you and you’ll have to bail yourself out financially if something happens. It also sounds like extended family just volunteered to help your parents.
Do you think the Redditor’s decision was fair given the history of favoritism, or should they consider helping their parents regardless? How would you handle this family dilemma? Share your thoughts below!