AITA for refusing to go to my husband’s church even once?

A Reddit user, who grew up in a highly religious Catholic household, experienced severe trauma due to over-the-top religious practices and has distanced themselves from organized religion. Their husband and his family, who are very Christian and attend church regularly, have been asking the user to attend church with them.

Despite the user’s clear discomfort and past experiences, her husband and his family continue to push for her to “try it once.” The user is questioning whether they are wrong for refusing, as they feel their decision should be respected. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to go to my husband’s church even once?’

I (29F) grew up in an incredibly radically over the top Catholic household. We went to church twice a week always, when I got Scarlet Fever as a kid my grandpa refused to let me get medical treatment for days while he tried to cure me by screaming at me at the top of his lungs to remove the devil from me.

I was so terrified of going to hell that if I even forgot to say “thank you” I’d break down crying. When I was 13, my dad (who had full custody) moved us to another country to get away from our religious family. From then on we were allowed to remain Catholic if we wanted, but none of us chose to.

We respected religions but never practiced or attended again. My husband’s (28M) family is very Christian and attends church every Sunday. He goes sometimes, always invites me but never pressured me to go for years. His family is starting to kick back and insist I attend as well, despite knowing why I don’t want to.

They are becoming a little pushy, saying that I have to at least go once and TRY it and that I’d have a good time. I still refuse. I’m happy they have their religion but I’m done with it for myself. My husband thinks I’m being a stubborn and irrational, I think I respect their religion so why can’t my decision also be respected? AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

toosheeptheorist −  NTA – forced religion is not religion, it is a cult. Ask your husband why it is now so important that you go to church with his family.

fiestafan73 −  Your husband married you knowing you have religious trauma and that you do not practice any religion. He is pulling a bait and switch here.

This kind of harassment from religious people has never one time in history actually made someone want to attend their church. Start shutting down these discussions. “You know how I feel about this. You knew about it before we were married. This discussion is closed.” NTA.

els_bw −  NTA. it’s irrational to force your religion upon others. I’d be careful OP, religion is often forced upon others as a means of control. Why else is it so important to them that you concede on your principles? also, It’d probably be a good idea for you to have a chat with your husband about why he believes you should participate in religion.

k23_k23 −  NTA. Offer them a deal: One visit to THEIR church with them for every visit to a church of your choice the agree to make (Same duration) – and THEY have to start.

WhatTheActualFck1 −  Your husband and his parents are being very disrespectful to you. You made your decision for more than very good reasons of why you don’t want to ever go. And now they’re harassing you about it, your husband being implicit with their harassment to you.

This is not ok. Honestly – one more conversation staying I will never go to any church. If you don’t stop asking, I will no longer involve myself in any events with any of you since you can’t find it in you “Christian” souls to stop harassing me or respecting my decision.

Then quote Romans 8:28 All things – even our own choices – are used by God to accomplish his purposes in and through us. Drop mic and walk away. Which is your semi nice way to tell them to eff off.. NTA.

Shdfx1 −  NTA. What you are describing is not Catholic. Catholics have a long history of scholarship and medicine. There are Catholic hospitals around the globe.

They don’t do “faith healing” or screaming the devil out of people. Though they do have some priests who perform exorcisms, the Church does not consider disease to be demonic possession.

Some people can take any religious or secular ideology and twist it into something dark and abnormal. There are animal rights activists who attack horses pulling carriages to try to cause wrecks that will get carriages banned.

ImprovementFar5054 −  NTA. My husband thinks I’m being a stubborn and irrational. *Irrational*? Let me get this straight…the guy who wants you to go to a church and worship a cosmic jewish zombie, who is his own father.

born of a virgin, sent by himself to save us from the consequences he himself will impose on us, of a woman made from a rib who ate a fruit at the behest of a talking snake, is calling *you* irrational????

You shouldn’t have to live with this. I get you love your husband, but this divide is probably too much to ever overcome. The pressure will be worse, the religious insanity will only grow.

OldestCrone −  NTA. From now on, your only response needs to be, “We’ve had this discussion. We will not have it again.” However, should you have children, be aware that the in-laws will try to indoctrinate them. You will need to watch for this for a long time.

asphodel2020 −  NTA. ‘You have to try it at least one.’ No, you don’t. You have no obligation to ‘try’ something you have made it clear you have no interest in. You’re not religious and they need to learn to respect that.

I think we all know that if you gave in and agreed to one visit, the pressure would only get worse afterwards because: “You’ve done it once; why can’t you do it again? Are you saying you didn’t enjoy it? That’s disrespectful to our beliefs!”

Waste_Worker6122 −  NTA. Your choice to attend or not, although frankly marrying into an ultra religious family after your horrific upbringing was asking for trouble.

Is it wrong for the user to refuse to attend church despite her husband’s family’s requests, or is her decision based on personal experience valid? How would you handle a situation where your partner’s family pushes for something you’re not comfortable with? Share your thoughts below!