AITA for refusing to delete pictures of my ex on my phone?

A man (29M) broke up with his ex after an 8-year relationship and is now dating someone new (26F). However, he has kept old photos and videos of his ex on his phone, believing they represent an important part of his past.

His current girlfriend found the pictures and asked him to delete them, but he refused. This has led to heated arguments, with her feeling he hasn’t fully moved on. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to delete pictures of my ex on my phone?’

I (29M) am currently dating with a girl (B, 26F). Two years ago, I broke up with my ex (C), ending an 8 year relationship from college. We shared a lot of memories together, had a good relationship, both families had accepted us and we were expecting to marry soon.

In the end things didn’t work out, as issues in our relationship deepened, and I came out of this incredibly hurt and saddened. I learnt a lot from this relationship, and have no regrets. It took me over a year to recover enough to begin dating again, where I have now met B.

I however still keep all my photos and videos of my ex. I admit I didn’t handle this the best with B, as I wanted to move on, and mentioned C as little possible.
One day, B saw pictures of C on my phone, and wanted me to delete it.

I said that you are free to see and browse all the pictures, but I don’t want to delete them. The reason is that it’s a part of my life that happened, a part of me. We have had heated arguments over this, where B feels I have not been true and open to her, and is angry at my refusal to delete the pictures.

AITA to keep photos and videos of my ex, after an 8 year long relationship?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

forgeris −  You really have to carry all those pics with you every single day? Because you didn’t get over your ex at all and you can keep lying to yourself all you want.

Just save all pics somewhere and store it away, no need to have them all on your phone, but it’s how I would do it, memories are good but you don’t have to rub those memories with ex to your current gf face.

Just think if your gf would keep all her memories with exes on her phone, how it would make you feel? Doesn’t make you an AH but it does make you not ready for this relationship and probably this is also what your new gf will figure out.

hereforthesportsball −  YTA for hiding the fact that you haven’t moved on. You actively avoid talking about C, which you wouldn’t have to do if you just…weren’t thinking about her much in the first place. B deserves all of you or none of you, grow at your own pace but be real with B. Doesn’t she deserve that?

Signal_Ad_7024 −  Why not d**p them onto a hard drive and start fresh? It’s fine to keep memories with you, but if you want this relationship to work you have to respect her feelings on this. I don’t think it’s a massive thing for her to not want to see so many photos of your past popping up.

Beginning-Spring-599 −  Soft YTA, you need to ask yourself if you have really moved on. If not, let B go, it’s not fair to her.

panachi19 −  NTA but I’d suggest downloading them and putting them on a flash drive if you want to save them. You keep your past visual memories and you have a clean slate on your phone to build memories with your current gf.

Special-Dish3641 −  You’re still not over your ex and YTA

Iogwfh −  NTA. We live in a world now where we can record pretty much our whole lives. It is not that weird to have photos of people you will never see again. These are your memories and this was a big chunk of your life asking people to delete memories of their lives is unreasonable.

The only compromise I might suggest is take them out of your phone and store them elsewhere like a cloud server or external hard drive. Treat them as you would a photobook something you keep for the memories and can come back and flip through once in a while. 

Alternative-Ruin1728 −  YTA move on

[Reddit User] −  YTA. Save the photos on some computer off of your phone in some quiet folder you can look at when you’re 80. You don’t keep exes on your phone like that, particularly documenting an 8 year relationship.

noinfono −  NTA. But let’s get real for a second. B isn’t the one. You should cut your losses and move on.

Should he delete the photos for the sake of his new relationship, or is it reasonable to keep them as memories? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!