AITA for refusing to be responsible for my parents dogs while they are on vacation?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma involving their parents’ high-maintenance dogs. After moving out and starting life as a newlywed, they were asked to care for the dogs during their parents’ vacation, a responsibility that conflicts with their work and personal schedule.

Despite their explanation, their parents labeled them as uncooperative. Read the story below to see how this family debate unfolded.

‘ AITA for refusing to be responsible for my parents dogs while they are on vacation?’

I (26M) am the oldest of three along with siblings (22M, 18F) to my parents (50sM and F). I got married this year and moved out to live with my now wife in May, but live only 15 minutes away from my parents. My 22M brother is away in college about 2 hours drive away.

My 18F sister also just went away to college herself several states away and so my parents are now “empty nesters”. My parents also have two dogs who are very high maintenance. They are extremely active dogs that require 2 walks/runs at the park per day to get their energy out and they also go crazy when my mom is not home.

When I have watched the dogs in the past I hardly get any sleep because the dogs are restless due to a change in their routine. In the past when we have lived at home, it has not been much of a problem for one of us kids that lives at home to pick up the slack with the dogs if my parents are out of town.

But my parents are going on a vacation for their anniversary in January for a week and have asked my brother and I to cover the responsibility of the dogs while they are gone. This would involve one of us walking the dogs twice daily and staying overnight so they don’t get lonely or destroy anything.

Because my brother lives over 2 hours away at school, he cannot realistically go to class and come and go home during the weekdays. Given that, the weekdays would be completely on me.

I have a job that has an unpredictable schedule during the week, I might start early or end late on any given day so it would be extremely hard for me to commit to the routine of walking the dogs twice a day. My wife and I also just got married and she works night shift as well as every other weekend.

I do not want to leave my wife at home when she is home and go sleep at my parents house just because of the dogs. I would basically not see her for almost a week because her night shift schedule and need to sleep in the day wouldn’t allow her to come with me.

And if she happens to be off over that weekend, then I do not want to be responsible for the dogs on the rare weekend that we are both available to do something together. Also, staying overnight at my parents house would wreck my sleep schedule because the dogs would stay up all night due to the change in routine.

I told my parents this reasoning and they told me I was an AH because they felt that I was looking for reasons to get out of this instead of trying to make it work for their anniversary.

They told me that I am making this a bigger deal than it needs to be but I find it ridiculous to ask me to leave my wife for a week to stay at their house for the dogs.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Yupkook −  NTA. Your parents chose to have high maintenance dogs and they are responsible for their care when they go on vacation. It’s not reasonable of them to expect you to disrupt your work, your family life and your sleep schedule just to accomodate them.

Your an adult with your own life and responsibilities. They had plenty of time to plan this and should hire a dog sitter or use a boarding servic, options they should explore instead of guilt tripping you.

It’s not selfish to set boundaries especially if it disrupts your life. Just because you live nearby doesn’t make you their default solution. If they can’t see that they’re being inconsiderate, not you.

KrofftSurvivor −  NTA – Tell them the dogs need to be boarded during their vacation – it’s ridiculous to expect you to give up your life for a week to babysit their dogs.

CandylandCanada −  NTA. People with dogs need to factor in their care to the costs of vacations.

BeautifulMusee −  NTA. You’re allowed to set boundaries, especially when their ask disrupts your life and marriage. They should hire a dog sitter—it’s their responsibility, not yours.

whynotbecause88 −  They can hire a petsitter/housesitter. It’s ridiculous of them to expect you to do it-you have your own life and responsibilities. NTA

Planted2468 −  They can ask and you can say no. But do keep in mind that if you are planning on having kids someday, you may want them to babysit and they might say no.

It sounds like they are asking for 2 things – someone to sleep at the house and someone to walk and feed them. Could they hire someone else for one job and you do the other?

glamgrl203 −  NTA to be fair you are kind of looking for reasons to not watch the dogs. But they are asking a lot with high energy dogs. There are plenty of places that would kennel the dogs for the week and offer walks and playtime.

Or they could hire a pet sitter to come stay at their home while they are gone. Would it be nice if you or a sibling could do it, yeah obviously but part of pet ownership is having backups if you need someone to watch them.

wxst3d −  Can they take their dogs to a puppy hotel/ daycare?

No_Atmosphere_5411 −  NTA. Why can’t they take them to a kennel or a dog sitting place? Why wouldn’t they plan for that in the first place? Are they short on money?

pixyfire −  I have three dogs. My children do not live at home because they’re adults. I pay a house sitter. She and her boyfriend moving to my house and do their regular routine and sleep here and let the dogs in and out and feed them.

It’s worth it. One of my dog sitters is a vet tech in my veterinary office. That’s a great place to start looking because they’re highly competent and the dogs already know them.

Your parents might have a hard time adjusting to the fact that they’re empty nesters, your life is really busy and it’s highly disruptive and not a long-term solution for you to continue to dog sit all the time. See if you can help them find a dog sitter.

Was the Redditor fair in setting boundaries given their personal and professional commitments, or should they have made an exception for their parents’ special occasion? How would you manage such a request, especially with demanding pets? Share your thoughts and experiences below!