AITA for putting a lock on my dresser drawer to keep my girlfriend from taking my clothes?

A Redditor shares their frustration over their girlfriend repeatedly wearing their boxers and underwear, despite their requests for her to stop. Initially cute, the situation escalates to the point where they feel compelled to put a lock on their underwear drawer. After hearing criticism from her friend about their decision, they question whether they are being unreasonable. Read the original story below to explore the complexities of sharing clothing in a relationship.

‘ AITA for putting a lock on my dresser drawer to keep my girlfriend from taking my clothes?’

We’re both in our late 20s. Recently my girlfriend has taken to wearing my boxers and underwear. Not shirts or shorts, stuff like that. Just my underwear. She says they’re comfy and likes how they feel. I bought her some of the kinds I always get but she won’t wear those ones, she wants mine for whatever reason.

It was cute when it first started but she changes clothes twice a day so that’s 3 pair of underoos coming out of my drawer daily. I’ve asked her to stop, I’ve told her to stop. She won’t stop and thinks I’m getting upset over nothing because, as she states, none of her previous relationships had a problem with her taking their clothes.

I put a lock on my underwear drawer. It’s just a safety lock but I won’t tell her how to open it and she got frustrated when she couldn’t get it open. Apparently, she told her best friend about it because when I got home last night, her friend commented that only an ass would do something like that. I get what they’re saying about it being clothes but I think it’s a pretty simple ask to not do it daily because that adds up quickly.

The 3 pairs a day seem to be causing some confusion- She wears 2 pairs (wear to work and another pair she puts on after she gets home from work and showers) and then I take a pair to wear for the day. Requested info: There are 3 reasons I don’t like sharing my underwear: 1. I just don’t like sharing underwear, it’s gross to me and a hard ‘no’.

She’s been told this every time I bring the topic up. 2. Her wearing them stretches them out and puts extra wear and tear in addition to what constant washing does. 3. Not to be gross or judgy but vaginas have all kinds of discharge and I don’t want stained undies. Who does the laundry and how often: We have to use a laundromat, meaning laundry gets done 1, sometimes 2, days a week. We share the laundry duty. Either we both go or one of us does it one week, and the next week the other person does it.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Philip_J_Fry3000 −  NTA, may I suggest an alternative that you may or not like? If she keeps at it just start wearing three pairs of hers daily. And when she offers to buy you your own in the same style tell her you want hers. Take the cute ones, the granny panties, take them all.

Dunesgirl −  If you need to lock up your clothes because your GF refused your simple request to stop wearing them, you don’t need a lock, you need a new GF.

WrestleBox −  NTA. She needs to respect your property and boundaries. Shouldn’t have had to ask more than once for her to stop taking your s**t.

No_Nefariousness9291 −  Changes clothes twice a day? Wtf for?

Whatnot1785 −  NTA, however: if you have to lock your belongings away from a significant other, because they don’t respect your boundaries, YWBTA for not questioning this relationship entirely. You don’t want her to do this with your underwear, so if you’re not okay with this (possible kink) and she’s not buying you extras to make up for how much she uses, then perhaps breaking up would not be assholish either.

Subrosianite −  NTA. This is about personal space and boundaries, which clearly she doesn’t respect.

dragon34 −  Is this some sort of kink for her? I agree with others that the iranian yogurt is not the issue here. She’s stomping on your boundaries, when you provided an acceptable compromise of buying her some of the underwear that you use. I don’t think it’s a reasonable relationship expectation to share underwear. Or toothbrushes.. NTA

celticmusebooks −  **I bought her some of the kinds I always get but she won’t wear those ones, she wants mine for whatever reason.** OK that’s some massive boundary stomping and honestly just ICK. NTA but GF appears to have some potential serious mental health issues.

Early-Tale-2578 −  How in tf are you an ass!?!?!? These are YOUR underwear and she needs to respect and accept when you told her to stop she clearly doesn’t not respect you she’s too old to be acting like this she needs to buy her own NTA

swillshop −  NTA for locking up your personal posessions, but you should not have to! Some things you need to take note of:
* GF said, “none of her previous relationships had a problem with her taking their clothes”. GF has a long-term pattern of taking other peoples’ clothes on a regular basis.
* GF is not interested in wearing the same underwear bought just for her. She insists that it be the underwear you have bought for yourself, but her fetish does not seem to be about being connected to YOU (since she’s done it with previous relationships). If her primary goal is neither wearing something she finds comfortable, nor a specific connection to you; then it suggests she has a strong need to assert her control over your personal, intimate space. Not a quality I would want in a partner.
* GF dismisses your clearly conveyed unhappiness, discomfort, and inconvenience with her taking your personal underwear. Not a quality I would want in a partner.
* GF dismisses your RIGHT to control your own things. Not a quality I would want in a partner.
* GF is not willing to discuss this with you to listen to/consider your concerns, express WHY this is something she wants, and either work out a win-win solution with you or respect your right to say ‘no’. Not a quality I would wand in a partner.
* GF disrespects your ‘no’ to the point you need to purchase a lock. This does not shame or deter her. It only makes her complain that you are not allowing her to tromp all over your boundaries. Not a quality…
* Moreover, GF discuss this with her friend and gets friend to be her flying monkey, to add a chorus to her viewpoint. (and BTW, I DO NOT get what they are saying.) Not a quality…
* You don’t say how long you two have been together, how long you two have lived together, or what you sense may have been behind this change in behavior. Only you can say whether you see any hope for a more healthy relationship with this person, but you don’t have one now.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in putting a lock on their underwear drawer, or did they overreact to their girlfriend’s behavior? How would you handle a similar situation regarding personal belongings in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!