AITA for not wanting to wear the u**y Mother of the Groom outfit my future DIL picked out ?’
A 44-year-old mother is facing conflict with her future daughter-in-law (DIL) over what to wear to her son’s wedding. The mother chose a coral satin dress by Calvin Klein, which the DIL deems inappropriate and not “motherly” enough. Instead, the DIL insists on a chiffon pantsuit that the mother finds unattractive.
The mother is adamant about wearing her chosen dress and even suggested wearing a shawl, but the DIL refuses, insisting the dress is too “sexy.” The situation has escalated to the point where the mother is contemplating not attending the wedding, causing frustration for both her son and DIL.
‘ AITA for not wanting to wear the u**y Mother of the Groom outfit my future DIL picked out ?’
My son, 23, and his fiancee, 23 are getting married in early September. I, 44 Fwas assigned ” coral” as my color, and picked out a fancy Calvin Klein dress in coral. It’s called the Starburst dress and it’s a satin type material.
She wanted me to try it on the other day and has now decided it’s not motherly enough and wants me to wear this u**y chiffon pantsuit. I told her I’m fine with what I got, and I’m not sure precisely what the issue is with my dress.
I offered to wear a shawl if my shoulders showing is the issue, but she said no it’s too ” sexy” period, and I need to look like a mother, and dress my age. I told her she is being ridiculous and I would rather just not go. Now she is all mad and my son is upset and trying to mediate. AITA?. ETA : pantsuit
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Particular-Try5584 − NTA.I’ve googled the CK Starburst dress – it’s basically a shift dress cut just above the knee, sleeveless but with wide shoulder straps and a wide boat neck. It has gathers/tucks/pleats at the hip/waist that create a wide starburst of about six pleats from shoulder to low hip. It’s very business tidy, and not sexy at all.
So this means… the OP must look DAMN HOT to carry it and look sexy. And DIL wants her in a floaty chiffon 60yr olds outfit of many layers and basically designed for woman with a broad spread. Ahahaha. This means OP looks really hot and DIL is sour because she doesn’t want a hot looking MIL.Let DIL buy the chiffon outfit.
~~Give it to your mother to wear (groom’s grandmother)~~. Wear the CK dress. Everyone wins! EDIT: Someone has rightly pointed out that the grooms grandmother deserves better. **Update is to offer it to the brides mother**. That should sort the entire matter out, either she wears it, or she recoils in horror. Problem solved.
Beck2010 − The Calvin Klein is gorgeous. Very clean, elegant, classic. MORE than appropriate for someone who’s mid 40s. Your future DIL’s comment about dressing your age? Yeah… I’m guessing her mom is older than you and she’s trying to make you look frumpy.
NTA. Tell your son that the outfit his bride chose is something that a ~~70 yo~~ *geriatric person with little to no sense of style* would choose. You’re 44. You have chosen a very appropriate dress, and will not be wearing the pantsuit monstrosity.
Maybe ask your son what the *real* issue is. Your future DIL is definitely trying to embarrass you. Edited to add: my apologies for using 70 as an “old age”. Let’s strike that through 🙂
FLchick415 − I’m four years younger than you and I’d be livid if someone told me to “dress my age” and suggested that u**y pantsuit. NTA
Tiny_Palpitation8420 − Uhhh. The Golden Girls called and want their pantsuit back. NTA.
coffeeloverfreak374 − NTA. Your DIL assigning a colour to anyone other than the bridesmaids / groomsmen is already problematic enough; you’re her fiance’s parents, not props in a photo shoot. You should wear whatever makes you comfortable and happy.
I’m honestly not sure where this trend of dictating a colour scheme or outfits to wedding guests came from (TikTok?). But it’s incredibly rude and out of line and s**fish couples who phrase this as anything other than optional need a reality check
And then your DIL doubles down with those icky comments about “dressing your age” that feel really shaming and judgmental. DIL has serious issues and a heavy dose of main character syndrome. Your son is in for an interesting marriage if this is who he’s marrying… Just saying.
I do think refusing to attend the wedding because of this is a step too far. You want to be there for your son, right? If so, talk to him and have him discuss with his bride that parents are invited honoured guests, not props, and should be encouraged to wear what they want.
Then find an outfit that makes you happy and show up. Keep smiling, have a good time, and if DIL chooses to cause a scene, that’s on her.
Cherry_Hammer − Tell her Thank You For Being a Friend, but you’re not quite into your golden years yet. NTA. I’d ask if the two of you could compromise on a different outfit, but I don’t think she’s in the right head space for that.
[Reddit User] − You’re 44, how is this ancient pink monstrosity age-appropriate for you?!!! NTA! Sincerely, a 28 year old.
HabaneroHore − NTA! I haven’t seen what the CK dress looks like. She calls it too sexy, but then wants you to wear something that looks like l**ia majora?!
DottedUnicorn − NTA. That’s a great-grandmother of the groom outfit. She must think everyone uses walkers after 40.
sarpon6 − NTA, in no universe is the chiffon thing “coral,” and if you’re not a bridesmaid or groomsman, the Happy Couple don’t get to pick out your outfit. They can veto your choice if you want to wear something that is inappropriate for the event and request a specific color, and that’s it.. Can we see the dress?
Is the mother right to stand her ground and wear the dress she loves, or should she accommodate her future DIL’s wishes for the wedding? Where should the line be drawn between personal style and wedding expectations? Share your thoughts in the comments!