AITA for not wanting my husband to walk his sister down the aisle?
A woman is upset that her husband, Mike, has agreed to walk his sister Beth down the aisle at her wedding, especially since their father, who has been reconciling with her, will be present. The woman believes that since the father is alive and has a relationship with Beth, it is more appropriate for him to fulfill this traditional role rather than her brother.
An argument ensues between the woman and Beth, leading to tensions with Mike, who feels honored to be asked and believes his wife is being unreasonable. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not wanting my husband to walk his sister down the aisle?’
My husband, Mike (37) is the eldest in his family. He’s pretty close with his sister Beth, (28) and they spend almost all week together. Beth had issues with her father growing up. She went no contact with him after he took her first car and damaged it. She only remained in contact with Mike since everybody else judged her for going no contact.
She’s getting married to her fiance of 3 years. From what I understand, she and her dad are slowly getting reconciled, but she made it clear she wants him to take no part in the wedding. She asked Mike if he could walk her down the aisle and he agreed.
I have to say that I was taken aback and it felt a bit odd for me because, her dad is alive, they’re on speaking terms again, he’s gonna be there at the wedding so the logical thing to do is have him walk her down the aisle. This role isn’t for her older brother but her father. Not to mention how FIL will feel about it.
I brought this up with Beth and she had an attitude and implied that I was just saying this and objecting because of how I feel about the situation not how our traditions should be practiced. We got into an argument and I went home.
Mike thinks I’m being unreasonable and possibly causing him to miss something so sentimental and that if anything, he feels honored to be asked to do this for her, and said that I should stop worrying about what others might say. Now we’re having this conflict (3 of us) and can not seem to reach a solution.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Straight-Singer-2912 − YTA. There was no conflict except for YOUR (unwanted) opinion.
– Beth wants Mike to walk her down the aisle.
– Mike wants to walk Beth down the aisle
– Mike’s wife thinks he shouldn’t, sticks her nose into his business, insists upon it, objects to it, creates a conflict because of her own opinions about years-long issues she hasn’t been around for, and then posts.
OP, during your entire typing and proofing of this post, did you not see that you’ve butted into someone else’s affairs? Was there no glimmer of “*Beth should be able to choose whomever she wants*” or “*Mike and Beth know this situation best*”?
I’m more concerned that this isn’t the first time you’ve done this (argued a point rather than listened to the other side), and if I were you I’d apologize and offer your (nonjudgemental) support. If I were Mike I’d be second-guessing my marriage.
Darkalleyandabadidea − YTA. There are 3 places you can always stay for free:. 1. In your lane 2. Out of other people’s business. 3. Over there with your nonsense. This is way out of your lane, it’s none of your business, and no one is remotely interested in your nonsense.
Why do you honestly care who she wants to walk her down the aisle? Do you have a problem with his sister?
Pretty-Royal9021 − YTA. The person who walks her down the aisle can be any one that has played a big part in her life. You’ve acknowledged that your husband has been that for her. What does it matter who she chooses? It’s not your wedding or your business.
CompletelyChaotic − YTA. “Now we’re having this conflict (3 of us) and can not seem to reach a resolution” Yeah, because you’re offering your opinion where it’s not wanted and trying to make a decision that’s not yours to make. The way this gets resolved is you saying “I’m sorry for my behavior.
You are right I am objecting because of how I feel, and this is not my decision nor something I should be pushing my feelings on.” You then be happy that your husband is so close with his sister that she wants him to walk her down the aisle. That he was there for her all of those years when no one else was.
Selenophile91 − YTA. I’m sorry, this is your business how? Beth has a great relationship with her brother. Beth has a bad relationship with her father. Beth wants her brother to take her down the aisle because her father was t**ic to her. I don’t understand your problem. It’s her wedding. She can ask whoever she likes. She does not need your permission or your approval.
Shot_Western_2755 − YTA- and this has literally NOTHING to do with you, b**t out
CrazyMath2022 − YTA. Regardless SIL has good relationship with father or not, she has to right to choose who ll walk her on her wedding day! It can be her father, mother, brother, friend or any other person she trusts and wants!
This is NOT your wedding and you have no say who bride choose to walk her down. And since has nothing to do to you stay out of relationship between brother and sister!!. YTA!
Penarol1916 − Why do the 3 of you need to come to a solution? This is between your husband and his sister and they are in agreement. This has nothing to do with you.
moonfae12 − Info: why are you jealous of your SIL and why does your husband taking an integral, supportive role in her wedding make you feel threatened? YTA, traditions are only important if the person in question values them.
Even then, they tend to be meaningless. I’d invite you to look up the original tradition of having a father give away the bride, and even the original role of best man. It’s….dark.
Do some deep introspection, determine what on earth is triggering you, take accountability for your own actions/emotions, and then apologize to them both. You may be able to fix both the conflict, and something within yourself, in the process.
BadBandit1970 − YTA. None of this is your business whatsoever. Your opinion does not matter AT ALL. You come across very judgmental and self-centered. “I feel”. “I think”. “Our traditions”. Keep your opinion to yourself and your mouth shut.
Is the woman’s concern valid, considering the father’s presence at the wedding, or is she overstepping by trying to dictate how Beth should handle her relationship with their father? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!