AITA for not showing up to my friend at the hospital because I needed to babysit?

A Reddit user shared a situation where he chose to stay home babysitting his 13-year-old sister instead of visiting a friend in the hospital after an injury. His friends accused him of being immature and prioritizing his parents’ approval over his friend’s well-being, leaving him feeling conflicted. Was he wrong for staying with his sister, or should he have made the hospital visit? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for not showing up to my friend at the hospital because I needed to babysit?’

I (18M) was tasked by my mom and dad to babysit my little sister (13F) for a couple hours because they wanted to go to a restaurant together.

After they left everything was going fine until one of my friends called me and said that one of my other friends got seriously injured and got sent to the hospital. He said that me, him and some other friends should go visit him for emotional support. I told him I couldn’t because I needed to babysit my sister and I didn’t want to leave my sister alone, especially not for long periods of time.

My friends told me that I was being really ridiculous and immature. They thought my sister was old enough to be able to stay home by herself anyway. I still didn’t want to leave her alone though so I still decided that I would stay home because if my parents found out that I had left my sister alone they’d be furious.

Now my friends are disappointed in me and saying that I care more about my mom and dad not getting mad at me than my friend’s health and that I didn’t care about our friendship. From now on the friend that was in hospital definitely doesn’t look at me the way he used to anymore because of what I did. Am I the a**hole?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Comfortable-Sea-2454 −  NTA. My friends told me that I was being really ridiculous and immature they thought my sister was old enough to be able to stay home by herself anyway. I still didn’t want to leave her alone though so I still decided that I would stay home because if my parents found out that I had left my sister alone they’d be furious. Not their family, not their choice. Although you are an adult, you agreed to watch your sister and that is what you did.

Now my friends are disappointed in me and saying that I care more about my mom and dad not getting mad at me than my friend’s health and that I didn’t care about our friendship. From now on the friend that was in hospital definitely doesn’t look at me they he used to anymore because of what I did. Your friend can get over it. You had an agreed-to responsibility and you followed through.

Worth-Season3645 −  NTA…What the what? Your sister is 13. You do not leave her home alone. (I am updating this part as it seems to be coming up a lot in the comments. In the United States yes most 13-year-old children can be left home alone. It depends on the child. Some children are fine being home alone at that age, some are not .

The only reason I say this is it is because specifically the parents asked the older brother to watch their younger sister. I would not just leave the 13-year-old home alone without consulting with the parents ). Your friends were way out of line. Your friend had enough support with them until you can visit. And your friend must not have been that injured to give you the cold shoulder. You need better friends.

I can only imagine what these same friends would have said if you had left your sister alone and something happened. “Oh no, don’t blame us. Your choice to come was not our fault”.

Ok-Position7403 −  NTA. Your friends are ridiculous. If injured friend was just being admitted, you wouldn’t be able to see them anyway. Your friends just wanted a chance to be all dramatic. Usually the last thing someone in the hospital needs is visitors, outside one or 2 very close competent adults, unless they are in there for a really long time and boredom becomes a factor.

Were they afraid friend would be discharged before the couple hours between the call, and your arrival? It’s stupid. Ignore them.

Usrname52 −  NTA. You were basically “at work”. Did everyone just leave work immediately? Also, realistically, if it were that much of an emergency, they wouldn’t be letting a bunch of non related teenagers in there for “emotional support” most people are usually in the ER for hours, unless they are rushed to surgery or ICU or something. You’re better off visiting him the next day when not everyone else was there.

You were hired to babysit (even if the pay rate was 0), you cant just leave your sister. If your sister is cognitively typical, then they are right, it’s weird to need you to babysit a 13 year old…I was babysitting at that age….but it’s not your place to just leave your sister. Seems like the dude was okay, not actively dying.

Regular_Boot_3540 −  There is no requirement to RUSH to the hospital the minute somebody is admitted. In fact, the first hours are often a bad time to visit, as the patient is in the middle of treatment. You could have gone later in the day or the next day. Your friends are the immature ones, thinking you should go back on your promise to your parents in order to fulfill their vision of friendship.

I do think that a 13-year-old can be alone in the home for a few hours, depending on the kid, but since you said you’d stay home and watch her, you did the right thing by sticking to that. NTA.

AnonAnontheAnony −  NTA – You had a pre existing responsibility that you accepted and unfortunately this is one of life’s great challenges. You can’t be in two places, at one time. You are more than able to see your friend after and if they are a real friend, they will understand and why you couldn’t be there in the first hour. All the best to your friend and I hope they get a speedy recovery.

Plumplum_NL −  I told him I couldn’t because I needed to babysit my sister and I didn’t want to leave my sister alone, especially not for long periods of time. My friends told me **that I was being really ridiculous and immature**. They thought my sister was old enough to be able to stay home by herself anyway. I still didn’t want to leave her alone though so I still decided that I would stay home because if my parents found out that I had left my sister alone they’d be furious.

NTA. You are the opposite of immature. You did not give in to the emotional manipulation of your friends. You stuck to your responsibilities and took care of your 13-year-old sister as you agreed upon.

Btw, it is not up to your friends to decide whether your 13-year-old sister is old enough to stay home alone. That is your parents’ decision. The expectations of your friends are ridiculous and they act very selfish and dramatic.

Nikosma −  NTA for totally different reasons…your friend is in the hospital and there is nothing you and your friends can do other than take up space in the waiting room. If their family is there, ask if there are things you can do while the friend is there.

It’s not a soap opera, emotional support is great, but your friend is where they need to be, you can always check in tomorrow or the next day after they are probably in a better place. On the reasons below, yes, you made a commitment, and it’s your sister. Your friends can stfu. drama queens.

NapalmAxolotl −  Ok, it’s not normal to visit friends in the hospital within hours of their arrival to the ER. Normally friends wouldn’t visit until the next day at earliest – and the hospital visit only includes one night, it’s reasonable to visit the person once they’re home instead.

If the person was otherwise alone, a friend would wait with them when they’re being admitted – but generally not a whole group. So was your friend out of the hospital the next day, and they were just being melodramatic about the whole thing? Your friends are the ones being ridiculous and immature here. NTA.

0biterdicta −  NTA. Though I do agree it’s odd a 13 year old can’t be left alone for a few hours (absent a disability/neurodiveragence), you had an existing commitment and your hospitalized friend had other people to be there for them. You can show up for your hospitalized friend in other ways.