AITA for not making my schedule work so my youngest stepsister could go to a party?

A Redditor recently found himself at odds with his father after he chose not to rearrange his work schedule to take his youngest stepsister to a party. Despite his father’s hope for a united blended family, the Redditor feels a stronger bond with his brother and sees his relationship with his stepsisters as indifferent.

After his father confronted him for not supporting the youngest stepsister, he’s questioning whether he is in the wrong for prioritizing his own schedule. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not making my schedule work so my youngest stepsister could go to a party?’

There’s some background that will provide some context about why dad’s angry at me. My mom died when I (17m) was 7. My brother was 6. When we were 10 and 11 our dad remarried. My dad’s wife came with three daughters. Her youngest is a half sister to the two older ones. Older two are 16 and 14. Her youngest is 9. My dad and his wife also have a 4 and a 2 year old together.

So one thing that I should mention is my dad’s wife lost her first husband, the dad of the older two. Her youngest was conceived not long after her husband’s d**th. The dad of her youngest didn’t want to know. And the girls never forgave her or got over her doing that so fast and they hate my youngest stepsister.

My brother and I don’t hate anyone. But being honest I see him differently to the steps and halfs. I love my brother. I’d say he’s my real sibling while the others are steps and halfs. I guess I’d say I’m mostly indifferent to them. I don’t dislike them but I don’t have their back always like I do for him.

He’s pretty much the same. Older steps don’t like any of the rest of us and are hostile. The youngest step really wants her older sisters to love her. She doesn’t really notice the rest of us. But it’s very easy to see it breaks her heart when the other two want nothing to do with her and they treat her like she’s disgusting.

The youngest two are really little but will play together. My dad and his wife had this dream that we’d be a way closer family unit and that we’d be more like an actual family than we are. Dad has talked to me about being the person who brings us all together as the oldest in the family. He told me I have such a good relationship with my brother and he wants us to have the same with the others.

He asked me like a year ago if I didn’t want that and I said no. Which made him interact with me differently. This all brings us to yesterday. Youngest stepsister was supposed to be going to a birthday party. Dad was already at work. His wife was really sick. I had work too but in the past I called and said I’d be late to do something for my brother.

My boss is cool with stuff like that. Oldest stepsister was going to a friends house and was passing the house the party was at. But she refused to take youngest stepsister. She left while her mom was trying to get her to take her. Middle stepsister also refused and left the house as well.

My brother wasn’t home and I left for work while dad’s wife was comforting youngest stepsister, who was upset my other stepsisters wouldn’t take her. When I got home last night dad called me an a**hole and he told me I could have taken her and if she was my brother I would have called to be late to work and taken him.

He told me I had the chance to really reach out and create a bond between me and her and I didn’t and I showed him that I will always have a favorite and never try to hide it. He told me he’s sick of the two of us sticking by each other but not doing the same for the others.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Ok_Conversation9750 −  “He told me he’s sick of the two of us sticking by each other but not doing the same for the others.” Tell him to repeat that same line to the two evil (older) step sisters. Why is it up to you? Why are those two older sisters (the evil ones) being called out on their behavior? BTW – NTA. Your dad and step mom created this mess – it’s theirs to deal with.

GoreGoddezz −  NTA. No, its not your responsibility, although it would have been nice. Step mom should have forced one of those not so nice sisters to do it. Although I feel so sorry for the youngest step sister. Being hated for something she cant control has to be so painful. Then to have other step siblings that don’t hate her, but could care less she’s alive. That poor kid. I hope she’s able to find better in her adult life and goes NC with everyone.

CareyAHHH −  NTA. But only on a technicality. You have every right to value your brother over others. And you had every right to just go to work, you are not a parent and shouldn’t have to sacrifice for a child. However, this is now shining a light on the character you are forming for yourself.

You are watching a little girl being bullied for things out of her control. Your response is to turn a blind eye and in action, treat her the same way. That is the kind of person you are becoming, is that the kind of person you want to be?

I am not saying you should be responsible for her or that you should try to force her to be your sister. What I’m saying, is if the positions were reversed, how would you want someone to respond to your suffering?

LouisV25 −  NTA. Dad is living in fantasy land. It takes willing participants to have a relationship. Even if you were willing the, the older two are not. You are not a psychiatrist or support animal for the issues his wife creates in her children.

rememberimapersontoo −  NTA – your dad and stepmom dug this hole and can’t just expect you to lay down in it and get walked all over. I would make it very clear to your dad that the complicated dynamics between your step mothers children are not on you and your brother to solve, and that all he is doing is punishing you for having a close and good relationship with your brother. good luck.

Norodia −  NTA, but it still breaks my heart that no one loves that little girl. Not your responsibility I know.

booboo773 −  NTA. Are there any consequences to the older two step siblings for refusing to take her? Your dad is coming down on you for having a valid reason (even if your boss is OK with it) then the other two should get the same lecture.

This whole idea what you’re the one to bring the family together is ridiculous because there’s no way your step sisters are ever going to go along with it. Dad needs to pull his head out of his ass and recognize the reality he lives in and not this made up fantasy.

dontlikebeige −  NTA.  If stepmom wasn’t too sick to have big arguments with two kids about driving kid three somewhere, she wasn’t too sick to drive kid three herself.  I call foul on stepmom.  

MessAgitated6465 −  NTA, and I can honestly see how your dad and step parent would push boundaries… …but being a nice / kind person is free. You’ve said yourself it’s easy to see the 9 YO’s heartbreaking, and it’s because her parents messed up, her older sisters are heartless. You do have a chance to be a positive life-changing force for her.

Stranger0nReddit −  NTA. She’s not your responsibility, it’s up to him and his wife to get her somewhere. Beyond that, you had work, and you can’t just call in to work saying you will be late all the time.

Do you think he should have prioritized his youngest stepsister’s feelings over his work commitments, or is it reasonable to maintain boundaries with stepsiblings? How would you handle a situation where family dynamics are complicated? Share your thoughts below!