AITA for not letting my inheritance be used for my step and half siblings when I’m not going to college?
A 17-year-old has a trust fund inheritance from his late father, set up to secure his future. He plans to learn a trade instead of attending college, which his mother disapproves of. His mom wants him to use part of his inheritance to help his stepbrother and half-siblings, who are facing financial difficulties due to medical expenses.
The teen refuses, believing the money is meant for his future, not to support others. He argues it was his father’s intention to provide for him specifically. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not letting my inheritance be used for my step and half siblings when I’m not going to college?’
I (17M) won’t be going to college after high school and instead I’m going to learn a trade. I feel like it works better for my skills and generally would be a better job for me. My mom isn’t super happy about it but she knows college has been pushed on me for almost two years and my mind hasn’t changed.
So she’s accepted that she won’t change my mind and nobody will. Here’s why my post is here. My dad died when I was 6. When he was 9 my grandmom (his mom) died and it was due to medical negligence/malpractice and my grandpa, uncle and dad were awarded compensation, a huge amount too, for her d**th.
Granddad split it between my dad and uncle. He was working and received social security benefits for them because grandmom died and he knew she’d want them to be taken care of above everything. When my dad realized he was sick he made sure that money would go to me, his only kid.
He set it up in a trust and left my granddad and uncle in charge of it. The money is a lot. Like I could easy be debt free going to college with it and have some left over if I was smart about it. My mom knew about the money but cannot access it. My mom has been married to her husband for 9 years. My parents were separated when dad died, btw.
Her husband has a son who’s a year younger than me and has a medical condition. My mom also has two kids with her husband/my half siblings. Because of my stepbrother’s medical condition and his mom not being in his life or his mom’s family, they don’t really have any savings for his college anymore (they had to spend it for some medical stuff) and my half siblings have nothing either.
My mom and her husband think that since I have the money and won’t be using it for college, I should give it to my stepbrother and half siblings and let them pay it back if I insist but that I could also just give it to them as a way to help them with their futures and be a good brother. I said no and I told them I wouldn’t change my mind.
Mom asked why and I said it’s my inheritance from my dad. I could buy a house with it. I could protect my future with it. I could save it for my future kids. But I don’t want to risk it not being paid back when it was dad’s way of securing my future.
She told me he’d want me to do this and I asked her if she really thinks he’d want the money he got from losing his mom to be used on random kids that aren’t me. She told me they’re not random to me so yes. She believes he’d want me to be a good brother. She told me I should really give it more consideration.. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
BeeJackson − NTA – Congratulations on protecting yourself and your future. You have considered your mothers request and your answer is still no. If you lend them money you won’t be able to get it back without suing them. If they can borrow from you then they can borrow educational funds in other ways. You shouldn’t be their only source of funding.
They will take your money tend pretend like it was a gift. Make sure your grandfather and uncle are aware of the situation and your plans so your mother can’t go behind your back. Unfortunately sometimes people act this way when large amounts of money are involved. Good luck with trade school and your future!
MelodyRaine − NTA it is not your responsibility to provide for your stepfather’s child or for your half-siblings. Your mother is being disgustingly greedy trying to guilt you into taking care of her responsibilities.
If I were to be brutally honest, it was irresponsible of your mother to procreate with a man who couldn’t support the child he has even once, much less twice. Could you go stay with your grandfather or uncle?
Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA. When my dad realized he was sick he made sure that money *would go to me*, his only kid. The fact he set up a trust to ensure this happened shows how much he wanted you to benefit from the money.
My mom and her husband think that since I have the money and won’t be using it for college, I should give it to my stepbrother and half siblings and let them pay it back if I insist but that I could *also just give it to them as a way to help them with their futures*.
**No way**. That’s not on you. Your mom has no right to ask it of you & her husband even less so. She told me he’d want me to do this. No he wouldn’t. That’s just emotional b**ckmail & even more disgraceful to do it to a 17 y o. Go stay with your grandparents or Uncle if you have to. Hope the money brings you what you want. All the best.. Eta missing word
Only-Ingenuity7889 − No, your Dad wouldn’t “want you to do this”. He intentionally set up the trust for you alone, so her plan would never happen. You would never get that lent money back Your Dad left you a tremendous gift for a head start in life, no matter how you use it. Honor him and his wishes. NTA
HumanPandaSinger − **NTA.** This is your inheritance, given to you by your father to secure *your* future, not anyone else’s. It’s incredibly unfair for your mom to pressure you into using it for your step and half-siblings, especially when that money is meant to help you in life, whether for trade school, buying a house, or other personal goals.
You’re being smart by protecting it, and your father left it to you for a reason. Helping them is not your responsibility, and it’s wrong for anyone to guilt you into giving up something that was meant for you. Stay firm—it’s your future on the line.
RedHolly − First, stop calling it your inheritance. That money is blood money. It was money paid to your family for the d**th of your grandmother. Every time your mother brings it up, refer to it as such. “You want me to use grandma’s blood money, that she literally died for to pay for a kid she never met’s education?”
Aggressive_Cattle320 − NTA Your father intended for this inheritance to go to YOU. Your mother was not part of the picture, at all, since they were already separated. She has no grounds to claim what you father would want you to do with this money. He made his intentions clear and set it up so your mother could not gain access to it, at all.
Your step dad’s son, and the kids they share together (your half siblings) have no relation at all to your father. He had one heir and that was you. Providing for their children are mom and stepdad’s responsibility, not yours or your late father’s. The money wasn’t specified to be used for college.
So, why your mom thinks this should go to aid step and half siblings in their college costs is beyond me. It’s not their money to use. Let them get student loans or work to put themselves through college, as my own daughter did. No matter, it’s not your problem and they are wrong to pressure you into having any part at all.
You have your life in front of you, with so many possibilities. I know your dad would be very proud of you for standing strong against being manipulated.
MysteryGirlWhite − NTA Why should you have to risk *your* future because she and her husband can’t provide for their own kids’ futures? Not your kids, not your problem.
OnlymyOP − NTA. Hell No, don’t give them a cent. The money was meant for you. There was a reason it was put in a Trust and your Mom wasn’t a Trustee.
It’s important to honor the intentions of loved ones while also prioritizing personal goals. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
