AITA for not giving my own doll to a costumer?

A Reddit user who collects and resells limited-edition dolls shared a dilemma about a particular sale gone wrong. After mistakenly missing a tax payment, a doll intended for a buyer was sent back to the U.S., and the buyer has been waiting months for it to return.

Despite offering a refund and even considering giving up her own doll, the buyer is demanding the Redditor’s personal doll immediately, causing a tense standoff. Read the full story below to weigh in on whether she should hand over her own doll or stand her ground.

‘ AITA for not giving my own doll to a costumer?’

I’m a doll collector and sometimes I buy limited edition dolls to resell in my country, since I understand a bit of imports. Back in September 2023, I bought a specific doll for $100 and sold her with a profit of around $20 each (I sold 2 and kept 1 to myself).

One buyer payed in installments during the next 2 or 3 months, and asked me to keep her in my suite with the international shipping service I use until March, when he finally paid for the actual shipping to Brazil. Unfortunately, when the doll arrived, I was in the middle of a crisis (flood) and forgot to pay the taxes for the doll.

The doll then was sent back to the US. This process takes months, usually up to a year, and I told the buyer that. I said I was profusely sorry, that there was a problem with the product and that it would return. I told him that it would take months and offered his money back, to wait, or to have my unboxed doll instead.

He was frustrated and angry but ultimately agreed to wait. This was in May. He eventually asked me for the tracking number and I provided, then he got angry that I didn’t pay for the taxes (I’ll admit, I made a mistake and was ashamed) and demanded that I paid for full shipping.

Even though it’ll be like $55 plus taxes, I agreed. It was my mistake, after all. Now, 5 months later, he contacted me again and said he’s done waiting and that he wants the doll — my doll, the one I’d offered before. I tried to calm him down but he said that he doesn’t know the state his doll will arrive in or if it’ll even arrive.

I said in that case I’d give him his money back, but he says he doesn’t want the money, he wants the doll. I was hesitant to agree to send him my doll, because it’s been 1 year since its release, and the doll is now worth around $260 boxed. Even mine, unboxed, is worth around $180.

Well, he’s been b**lying me and pressuring me to send him my doll, saying I had offered it to him before, but I think I have a right to change my mind, same as him. I even sent him the money back, but he demands I give him the doll immediately, since he knows he can’t buy her for the same price.

What do you think, am I the a**hole? Part of me wants to be good and just give him the doll, or buy him another. The other part, however, feels like giving up my doll would be an injustice. Please, give me your opinions in a polite manner.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

dataspocklore −  NTA, You had already offered the alternatives and he already made his choice. He is not entitled to your doll.

I would keep an eye on the tracking because there is always the possibility that he’ll not only recieve the doll he purchased from you but wants yours as well so he can resell it. If his harassment continues, I’d refund him then cut off any contact.

Miayehoni −  Brazilian laws states either money back or product, so while ai “understand” his frustration at not having the item, he’s being a complete ass about it. NTA, blacklist him as a customer, and move on. Just make sure to have everything documented just in case

Excellent-Count4009 −  NTA. Send him his money back, and block him.

Special_Drummer_8293 −  NTA. Things happen and you didn’t forget out of irresponsibility, but because of a crisis. You’ve done what you could to fix the situation and he made his choice when given options. While he is understandably upset, you have refunded him.

Apologize again, tell him that unfortunately, your doll is no longer available, and you will not be communicating further with him on this.
In the future though, I reccomend not making a sale until the product is already physically in your possession and you have capability to ship it. (I’m assuming it was not in your possession)

TimeRecognition7932 −  NTA…just refund his money 

Longjumping_Win4291 −  NTA In all businesses there are times where you cannot meet the expectations of the customer, due to an error somewhere. In these situations, it’s the customer’s right to have the option of a full refund or partial discount while the matter is getting sorted out.

Once accepted most businesses won’t keep humoring the client, they would acknowledge the error was on their behalf and the solutions they offered to the client, then remind them of what they accepted.

In this situation you offered a full refund, but the client didn’t want that, he still wanted the collectable doll and was happy to accept partial payment of all postal costs back. The deal was struck. But you trying to maintain your good reputation gave him his money back instead as he continued to be aggressively unhappy.

He is not entitled to the doll once he received his full refund, tell him that. That he chose at the time which compensation best suited him at the time, and you honored it. Even refunded the rest of his money due to him being extremely unhappy.

Tell him after he accepted the full refund back from you ended your transaction with him. That when the doll comes back to you, you could contact him to see if he wishes to purchase it again or not. But if he continues to be aggressive over the transaction then the transaction is over and done.

Was the Redditor fair in offering a refund or alternative solutions, or does the buyer deserve her personal doll after such a long wait? How would you handle a situation where a collector’s item is delayed? Share your thoughts below!