AITA for not covering the bill for my friends?
A 20-year-old woman (20F) met up with three of her high school friends for dinner after not seeing them for a year. When the bill came, her friends implied that she should cover the entire cost since she works full-time, despite not discussing this beforehand.
She paid for her own meal and left the tip, asking her friends to venmo her for what they ordered. They were offended, calling her selfish. She feels she wasn’t being unreasonable. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not covering the bill for my friends?’
I (20F) and 3 of my high school friends (all 20F) met up and got dinner after not seeing each other for a while. It wasn’t my idea, but I was invited and very excited since it had been a year since the four of us were all together.
The check came to the table (not split, we never discussed splitting the check and our waiter dropped it off in passing) and they all kept making comments about how they’re in school/out of work, insinuating that I should be the one paying.
Two of them are in college full time with work study jobs and the other is working full time but is currently between jobs. I work full time- I started working as a night RN in June. I was a little taken aback since no one said anything about me covering the bill in full (~$90 before tip).
I told them that I would pay for my meal and cover the tip, but I wanted them to venmo me the cost of what they ordered. They seemed offended and kind of side-eyed me but they reluctantly agreed.
They kept making comments about how I had “a big girl job,” that I could’ve paid the whole bill and be fine, and that I was being selfish for asking them to pay me back. I told them that it was rude of them to expect me to pay without suggesting it beforehand and that I didn’t think I was being selfish.
This happened a couple weeks ago and they keep making jokes/remarks in our group chat about what happened. And I know that one of them is actually mad at me for what happened.
See what others had to share with OP:
Abusedink75 − NTA – How good of friends are you with these people because it honestly sounds like they just invited you in order to get you a pay for their dinner which is really gross.
WishPretty7023 − They kept making comments about how I had “a big girl job, Yes, you have a big girl job but not big girlS job. Those other girls- ain’t your responsibility. Yeah, if someone is in a big emergency or troubles I would say it would be stingy to not spare 10 or 20 bucks but for no reason?
Hell no. You sat yourself down and ordered food- so you better pay for it! NTA
Discount_Mithral − NTA. They intentionally made plans to go to dinner and only invited you so they could surprise you with the bill?! These people are not your friends. I would pull back from this group and find people who could afford the plans they made with me instead of viewing me like a substitute for mommy and daddy paying for dinner for me.
pottersquash − NTA. For 90 bucks you found 3 people who you need to cut out your life. Truly a bargain. Usually costs you thousands to find this out.
LindonLilBlueBalls − NTA. The way I see it, you have two options. Option 1: Tell the group chat about a date a guy asked you out on and when the bill came, he asked you to pay for it. Then go off on how s**tty that is to do to someone, ask them to dinner and then expect them to pay. Just really lay it on thick.
Option 2: Ask them all to come to dinner with you as a way for you to apologize to them. Before the meal is finished, excuse yourself and sneak out. Basically either way it sounds like your friendship with these moochers is over. If they are still talking about it and still mad, they don’t see you as anything more than a free meal.
Thaded1a − NTA. It sounds like the only thing you should be expected to nurse is your patients, not your friends’ finances! Just because you have a “big girl job” doesn’t mean your wallet is a free-for-all.
It’s perfectly reasonable to expect everyone to pay for their own meals unless it was stated otherwise beforehand. Maybe for the next get-together, you can suggest a potluck at home—where the only checks involved are the ones you play on the chessboard.
FirmRadio7629 − NTA. Those are not friends. If they didn’t have money they could of suggested hanging out at someone’s house to visit. What they are doing is immature and rude. D**p these chick’s and find some real friends.
QuietObserver75 − NTA and you’re friends are really s**tty people. Who goes to dinner and then when the bill comes complains you can’t afford it? You just don’t go. The fact that they all did this to you makes me feel like they maybe discussed sandbagging you beforehand? Because it definitely sounds like they talked about this without you there.
Stunning-979 − I’d like to see the private texts/conversations between them *prior* to inviting you.. NTA
Suzdg − It is totally out of line to expect you to pay at the end of the meal. If money is an issue you could have gotten a cheaper meals somewhere else. Maybe these aren’t the friends you thought they were? It is one thing to put you on the spot w that entitlement,
even worse to double down and joke about it or be mad. I mean, mad? About not doing something you never agreed to? Sounds like they all got together and agreed you should pay Might be time to step back from these “friends.” NTA.
Was the woman wrong for not covering the entire bill? What do you think about her friends’ expectations? Share your thoughts below!