AITA For my reaction when I got home and found my 6 months old daughter wearing the same diaper for 9 hours?

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A Reddit user shared her frustration after returning home from a long nursing shift to find her 6-month-old daughter neglected by her husband, who had been playing video games all day. The baby had worn the same diaper for 9 hours,

resulting in discomfort, while their older daughter was also left unkempt. After confronting him, tensions escalated, with his mother defending his behavior and accusing the user of being controlling. Read the full story below:

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‘ AITA For my reaction when I got home and found my 6 months old daughter wearing the same diaper for 9 hours?’

I 35-F been busy with work (I’m a nurse) and taking care of my 6 months old baby girl and her 6 years old sister. My husband work night shifts-3 nights a week so he’s usually sleeping at home during the day. He got himself a ps5 a month ago. He started spending time playing. He used to handle some of the house chorus now all he does is make excuses of how tired he is and how much he needs sleep.

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But he’d come home from his shift and starts playing. He drinks a lot of coffee to stay concentrated and awake. Also he stopped eating properly. Keeps forgetting to do things I ask him to do. Like help fix his daughter’s toys/take turns in changing diapers etc. I started calling my mom to come help since he’s been too busy to do simple things.

He didn’t like that I asked others for help and said I didn’t have to. That he’ll start helping again. I actually believed him and left for my 8 hour shift at the hospital and before I left I reminded him of everything he needed to do from feeding/changing diapers/cleaning our daughter’s room etc. He said “don’t worry about it” and then I left.

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I called him to check on the kids and he said everything was fine. I came home in the evening and I was shocked to see our 6 months old’s bed was put in the living room. Her stuff on the couch. While he was playing. She didn’t stop crying he said he didn’t know what was wrong. Turned out he didn’t change the diaper after I left.

She was wearing the same diaper for 9 hours. He said he forgot but he was busy playing. I immediately took care of her. I knew her rash was going to get worse after that. My 6 year old’s hair was a mess he didn’t brush her hair. The kitchen was a mess. I was livid kept yelling at him for being neglectful and reckless and literally forgetting about his own kids over a game.

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He said that I was overreacting and that it was my fault for not reminding him on the phone. I told him it was my fault for leaving the kids with someone who doesn’t even brush his teeth. He got offended and left the house minutes later.

His mom called me telling me that my husband stayes up at night to make a living for his kids and that I was pressuring him by giving him more than he could handle. I tried to explain but she kept lashing out calling me controlling and said I might be frustrated from my job that’s why “I’m taking it out on him”.

Check out how the community responded:

Acceptable_Letter331 −  NTA if my husband did this him and his ps5 would be out the door.

drseussgrandchild −  NTA, your husband isn’t a competent father and is blaming you for it.

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[Reddit User] −  NTA. That’s legal n**lect, like, “thousands of dollars fine and possible jail time” n**lect, not changing an infant’s diaper for *nine hours*. Either he needs to wake TF up or you should take the kids and go, cause I don’t see that behavior changing anytime soon.

that-1-chick-u-know −  NTA. My first thought was to destroy the PS5. But that’s really not the issue here. The problem is a father who would allow his screaming child to sit in a soiled diaper for hours on end. The problem is a husband who expects his wife, who works outside the home full-time, to come home and handle 100% of the parenting and household responsibilities.

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You don’t have a partner, you have a third dependant. And an unhygenic one at that. Your husband comitted child n**lect, plain and simple. That’s the biggest concern here, because of course it is, but there are other problems too.

I would not leave the children with him again, and if he didn’t want to attend counseling and/or parenting classes, I would be serving him with divorce papers. You deserve a teammate you can depend on. You do not need another person to be responsible for. ETA: thank you for the award, kind stranger

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[Reddit User] −  NTA – your husband neglected your infant. This is abuse. You can’t trust him with your children on his own, which is absolutely pathetic on his part. If his mom thinks he is incapable of caring for his own children she can either come over and babysit or contribute towards childcare.

0biterdicta −  NTA. Your husband is neglecting your child in favour of video games. Ask your Mom to babysit again, and tell him he either takes a childcare class and does couple’s counseling with you or you’re walking. Keep record of this incident in case you do end up visiting the divorce lawyer. If his mom typed any of this out over text or email, hold on to those.

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Leolover812 −  NTA. Absolutely inexcusable to leave a child in a soiled diaper for 9+ hours. Neglectful. I would walk away from this man. He can’t even be called a man. He is a child. And his mom can take him in if she’s so concerned. You and your children deserve better.

KatJen76 −  NTA he sounds like he’s addicted to his games. And your MIL needs to mind her own business. She’d probably be on your side if she got the whole story. Yes, he stays up nights to provide for his family. You work just as hard. He also agreed to have children and lives at the house, so he’s responsible for childcare and housework too. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

fluffybunnies57 −  NTA. However YWBTA if you leave your children with him again. What he did is n**lect and that’s how CPS gets involved. This is a come to Jesus moment. If he wants to be trusted to care for the children then they have to come first not dead last.

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I’m assuming he was able to feed himself and use the restroom throughout the day so he is capable of prioritizing his needs when he recognizes them. He isn’t forgetting your children’s needs he simply isn’t prioritizing them because they aren’t important to him! Please do what’s best for your kids. I hope things look up for you OP.

WaDaEp −  NTA. LOL at him running to his mommy to pick on you. What a winner. I started calling my mom to come help since he’s been too busy to do simple things.
He didn’t like that I asked others for help and said I didn’t have to. Too bad. He’s negligent. Imo, you need to take over and take your kids to your mother’s home or wherever there are responsible people.

I’m thinking he doesn’t want your mother looking after the kids at your home because he’s gaming and doesn’t want to be bothered. His actions and reactions prove he’s not fit to take care of your young children. Edited to include quote block, typo.

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Parenting is a shared responsibility, and neglect can have serious consequences. Was the mother justified in her reaction, or did she go too far? Share your thoughts and opinions below!

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