AITA for laughing at my starstruck girlfriend?

We all have our passions—some people love sports, others obsess over video games, and then there are those whose hearts belong to their favorite musicians. But what happens when your significant other’s enthusiasm for a music group makes you roll your eyes instead of joining in?

That’s the dilemma for our Reddit OP (original poster), a 22-year-old guy whose girlfriend is a die-hard fan of the K-pop group NCT. When she won the chance to meet them, her excitement was through the roof. OP? Not so much. He tagged along but found himself cringing at her fangirling. Later, he even mocked her in front of her friends, which she clearly didn’t appreciate.

Now, a year later, she’s gearing up for another NCT concert and meet-and-greet—but this time, she’s leaving OP at home. He’s wondering if she’s still holding onto a grudge or if he’s truly in the wrong. Let’s dig into this story and see where the real issue lies.

‘AITA for laughing at my starstruck girlfriend?’

Expert Opinion:

Why People Love Fandoms (and Why Mocking It Hurts)

At first glance, OP’s frustration might seem understandable. After all, not everyone gets the intense world of K-pop fandoms. But is his reaction reasonable, or does it reveal something deeper about how we treat our partners’ passions?

Dr. Lynn Zubernis, a clinical psychologist who studies fandoms, explains that being a superfan isn’t just about liking an artist—it’s about community, identity, and emotional fulfillment. “For many fans, their connection to a band or celebrity is deeply personal. It provides a sense of belonging, excitement, and even emotional support,” she says.

Mocking someone for their enthusiasm—especially in front of their friends—can feel like an attack on something that genuinely brings them joy. “Belittling a partner’s passion can create long-term resentment,” says relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch. “Over time, if one partner continually dismisses or ridicules the other’s interests, it erodes trust and intimacy.”

So while OP may have seen his comments as harmless teasing, his girlfriend likely felt disrespected and unsupported.

The Bigger Issue: Is This About K-Pop or Relationship Dynamics?

At its core, this conflict isn’t really about K-pop—it’s about how OP views his girlfriend’s interests and how he treats her because of them.

• Mockery vs. Support – Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, even when partners don’t share the same interests. OP didn’t just roll his eyes at her excitement—he actively humiliated her in front of her friends. That’s not teasing; that’s dismissing something she deeply cares about.
• Underlying Judgment – OP repeatedly states that he thinks his girlfriend is “too old” for this. But why? Adults can have hobbies and interests that bring them happiness. Many people still follow their favorite bands, actors, or sports teams into adulthood. The idea that enjoying a boyband is “immature” is more about OP’s biases than any universal truth.
• Why She’s Keeping Him at a Distance – When she won NCT tickets again, OP assumed he’d go too. But after his behavior last time, it makes perfect sense why she doesn’t want him there. She’s probably protecting her own enjoyment from being ruined by someone who’s going to judge and embarrass her again.

Lessons and Takeaways: How to Avoid Being That Partner

OP’s situation highlights a crucial relationship lesson—supporting your partner’s happiness doesn’t mean you have to share their passion, but you do have to respect it. Here are a few key takeaways:

1. You Don’t Have to Like It, But You Should Respect It – Not every couple will share the same hobbies, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is belittling your partner for what they love.
2. If You Can’t Support, At Least Stay Neutral – If OP wasn’t interested in K-pop, he could have just let his girlfriend enjoy her experience without making fun of her. Sometimes, silence is better than criticism.
3. Apologize and Do Better – If OP wants to mend things, he needs to acknowledge how much his mockery hurt her. A sincere apology, without justifying his behavior as “just a joke,” could go a long way.
4. Respect Personal Boundaries – Now that his girlfriend has made it clear she doesn’t want him at the concert, OP should accept that without pushing back. She’s setting a boundary to protect her enjoyment, and that’s something he should respect.

Here’s what some Reddit users thought about OP’s situation:

Overall, the community had a strong consensus—OP was in the wrong. Many pointed out that his girlfriend’s love for K-pop is harmless, while his attitude was unnecessarily dismissive and mean-spirited. Some even suggested that his behavior was a red flag, indicating a deeper issue of control or lack of respect.

Loving someone means accepting them as they are—including the things that bring them joy. OP’s mistake wasn’t just that he didn’t like K-pop; it was that he mocked and embarrassed his girlfriend for liking it. Now that she’s keeping her passion separate from him, he’s realizing the cost of his actions.

So, what do you think? Should OP have been more supportive, or is his girlfriend overreacting? Let us know your thoughts below!