AITA for laughing at my brother’s idea for a memorial tattoo?
The author (30M) laughed at his brother’s (29M) idea for a memorial tattoo, which features two life rings and a knot to symbolize their close friendship. The brother, who lost his childhood best friend, was upset when the author pointed out that the tattoo design resembled a nautical penis.
The author’s husband also feels the laughter was inappropriate, but the author is unsure if he was wrong to react as he did. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for laughing at my brother’s idea for a memorial tattoo?’
My (30M) brother lost his childhood best friend this past year. Apparently, whenever they got drunk together, they would joke about getting matching tattoos. So my brother wants to get a memorial tattoo. He sent me a picture of his initial design.
They were both into sailing so the tattoo is going to have two life rings attached with a long rope that has a knot in the bottom part to symbolize how close they were. I just saw a nautical themed penis.
When I laughed and asked him if he was serious he got really mad at me and now won’t respond to my texts. My husband agrees that it does look kind of like a penis but says I could have kept my mouth shut since I know how important this is to my brother. So AITA for laughing at my brother’s nautical penis?.
EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has responded. I see I was definitely TA and could have gone about it another way. I texted my brother an apology when I woke up. He seemed to understand that I was just coming from a place of concern.
He didn’t tell me if he was going to keep on with this design or change it but I will try to be supportive no matter what.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
rafters- − YTA for how you went about it. There were much more tactful ways to alert him to a phallic shape in the design without (from his perspective) making a mockery of his grief. And you were texting so there was literally no reason for him to ever know that your initial reaction was laughter/disbelief. You owe him an apology.
SnooBooks007 − YTA for laughing at him. Unnecessary. You could have urged him to reconsider the design without belittling him or his memory of his friend.
aitaandanimals − look you’re not wrong for pointing that out to him before he got it put on him forever but YTA for laughing for sure. just apologise, explain yourself and then maybe help him with a suggestion for how the tattoo could look less phallic
hadesarrow3 − Dude you laughed at his idea for a memorial. Of course YTA. Apologize to your brother. Mind you, not the AH for pointing out that it looks like a penis… that is an important thing to point out about someone’s potential tattoo. But learn some tact and empathy man.
Major_Barnacle_2212 − YTA for laughing. This is one of those times when you say you love the idea, but suggest you two continue brainstorming the perfect tattoo. If you workshop it a bit I bet you could have helped coax things in a better direction.
embopbopbopdoowop − YTA for laughing. But you’re not the AH for letting him know. If you didn’t, others would have. Constantly. Mockingly. For the rest of his life. Apologise for laughing (and mean it!). Tell him you just don’t want anyone to make fun of what is clearly a meaningful tribute, and suggest he reworks the design.
lordvexel − YTA the best way would have been something akin to ” it looks good but you might want to tweak the shape just a little bit” followed by a gentle explanation
alchemyali − YTA… Yes you were right to tell him before he got it. But. You are also presumably an adult. You could have found a way to tell your grieving brother your thoughts G E N T L Y. You were texting him, not face to face. You had time.
If you’re ever unsure of whether or not your words/response will be offensive, go take a walk and think about it for a bit. That’s the benefit of texting. Please choose kindness whenever you can — the world is already so dark. Let’s not add “punching someone when they’re already down” to the mix, okay?
jadestem − My (30M) brother lost his childhood best friend this past year. Read this part a few more times then ask yourself if you are the a**hole for laughing? As others have stated, you could have pointed out the design flaw in a sensitive manner.
andieconda − YTA. Sounds like you didn’t mean to hurt him…but you did. Just apologize. He’s obviously grieving.
Humor can sometimes clash with sensitive situations. Was the brother’s idea worth laughing at, or should the author have been more considerate? Share your thoughts below!