AITA for keeping food from my wife?
A man and his wife have different preferences for persimmons. The wife enjoys eating them firm, while the husband prefers them to ripen to a pudding-like texture. After buying a bunch of each at the farmer’s market, the wife ate all of her preferred persimmons, and the husband saved his for later.
When he finally started eating his, he refused to share them, arguing that he had been saving them for a long time and she doesn’t like them the same way. His wife got upset, accusing him of always designating food as “his.” He believes food should be shared, but insists on keeping certain items for himself.
‘ AITA for keeping food from my wife?’
My wife loves fruit. She eats a lot of it and I, as the person who buys most of the groceries, try to keep the place constantly stocked. Apples, peaches, figs, plums, whatever is in season, it’s on our counter. Right now it’s persimmon season. We both like very different types.
She likes fuyu and she likes them firm. I like any kind, but mostly hachiya and like them the texture of pudding. So I leave mine to ripen which can take days to weeks sometimes. Neither of us likes the other’s style much. This week we got a bunch of each at the farmer’s market.
I left mine be in a basket in the corner of the kitchen. She ate all of hers by mid week and I got her more at the market and she ate those too. I just stared eating mine today and offered her a bite. She said, no, I’ll get my own. And I said, no way, those are mine.
I’ve been saving them and you know how much effort it takes to get them the way I like it, and you don’t even like them that way. She got upset at this and said this has been my thing our whole marriage. I designate food as mine.
All food should be anyone’s to eat if that person wants it at that moment, she says. I, personally, disagree with this. And I live my life leaving her what is hers, whether it’s half of the leftovers or half a piece of cake or whatever. I don’t just eat things. I consider her.
And I do my best to make sure she has what she likes around. And if I do accidentally eat the entirety of something she wanted I hear it, believe me. Am I the a**hole for keeping some fruit to myself?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Miserable_Dentist_70 − It sounds like she only wants some of yours after she’s had two batches of hers. Doesn’t sound very equitable. NTA, your wife needs to let you have what you have set aside for yourself. She has had *plenty* of her own.
StAlvis − NTA All food should be anyone’s to eat if that person wants it at that moment, she says. Isn’t this a mentality we teach out of, like, toddlers?
Eastern_Condition863 − NTA. If my husband buys something specifically for himself and asks me not to touch it, I don’t, because I’m not a selfish little gremlin.
Obvious_Huckleberry − NTA It’s easy to say that when you’re the ONLY ONE getting to enjoy the fruit. I have a 12 year old and she would routinely eat all of something until I talked to her. Now she stops when there is two so her dad and I have a chance to eat at least one of them. How is it that my 12 year old understands this concept more than your wife?
Gusteauxs − NTA Would it be possible to just buy more fruit in the future? I do think your wife is being a little childish. She is expecting you to share all of your food while she shares none of her own.
Also, why can’t she just go get her own food? Surely she has money, a means of transportation, and functioning legs to walk into the grocery store and purchase all the fruit her heart desires.
Successful-Maybe-252 − NTA your wife is selfish. Probably not even consciously, but she is. Maybe show her this thread. Also your fruit budget is unhinged!
Tdluxon − NTA Seems like a pretty minor request and she’s not being very reasonable about the whole thing. She’s being pretty childish and if she gets this worked up over a persimmon then I don’t even want to imagine what she’s like if something actually serious comes up.
CuriousEmphasis7698 − NTA. It’s not unreasonable of OP to expect to get to eat the fruit that OP selected and had to let ripen with out his spouse eating it. It sounds like she had multiple portions of her own preferred fruit in the time it took for the fruit OP had selected to ripen.
Dandylion71888 − NTA but it also sounds like she’s eating an excessive amount of fruit to the point where it isn’t healthy.
TheGeekOffTheStreet − NTA. Some people are greedy. I bought a literal mini safe because I couldn’t keep food for myself from my husband and four sons. I would buy a dozen donuts, six people, everyone gets two, right? Nope, I’d go to grab a donut and there would be an empty box.
Everyone in my house eats like twice as much as me. My husband bought me two dozen dark chocolate truffles for Christmas once. I can have one truffle, put them away, then come back a few days later and have another. I like to savor food.
Well I had a few truffles, then came back a week later and the whole box was gone. I was livid. My husband said he thought I didn’t like them since I didn’t finish the box. In a week. I ordered a safe and now I put anything I want in there. It was an extreme solution, but living with five dudes that eat twice what I do meant I was getting frustrated way too often.
Is it selfish for the husband to keep food to himself, or is it fair to save something special when it takes effort to get it just right? What do you think? Share your thoughts below! Read the original story below…