AITA for how I responded to a senior HR member accusing me of taking d**gs at work?

A Reddit user who has bipolar disorder, managed through prescribed medication, found herself in a tense situation during a work Zoom meeting. She discreetly took her meds on camera at her usual time, but a senior HR member (Q) noticed and accused her of “creating a hostile work environment” and “ruining her body.”

When Q threatened to write her up, she escalated the matter to the head of HR, citing her legal protections. Q was subsequently suspended, causing workplace tension as coworkers sided with Q. Now, she’s questioning whether she overreacted. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for how I responded to a senior HR member accusing me of taking d**gs at work?’

Background: I have diagnosed bipolar disorder. I’ve been on medication over a year and it’s the best damn decision I’ve ever made. That being said, I have a tendency to go off my meds when I’m manic. It’s not fun when the meds wean out of my system and I go nuts. In order to not sabotage myself, I take my meds everyday at 11 am. It helps me settle myself for the rest of the day, and keeps me on a strict schedule.. Incident:

My workplace has shifted online fully. We had a zoom call yesterday with HR to update everybody on COVID measures going forward for the upcoming quarter and it was about 30 or so people on the call. HR has been a**l retentive about people keeping their videos on throughout the meeting; nobody is allowed to move out of the screen. The meeting began at 9 am.

11 am comes around and my alarm buzzes to remind me about the medication. I moved slightly out of frame and took them while still on the call. I didn’t think anybody noticed but apparently this senior HR person we’ll call Q, did.

The meeting wraps up at 12 noon, and as we’re all getting ready to sign off, Q tells me to stay behind after everybody leaves, in front of them. I found that unprofessional but held my tongue. Q then launched on this long diatribe about how I’m setting a “hostile work environment” by taking my meds during work hours, that I’m being neglectful of my duties, and that I’m “ruining my body” with them.

When I finally got a chance to respond, I said that the “d**gs” I’m taking are prescription medication, and that I fail to see how the five seconds it takes me to take them is creating a hostile work environment. I said that my medical history is none of their business, and since they have failed to demonstrate any real harm in the situation, I didn’t feel like this discussion was warranted.

Q looked like they’d swallowed sour milk and told me they’d be writing me up and that I was officially being warned for my behavior. I saw red and right after the call ended, sent an email to the head of HR (R) summarizing the conversation and refuting the warning/write ups. I stated the relevant legal protections accorded to employees in such situations and that I hoped R would address this fairly.

R looked into the matter and I learned later that Q had been suspended without pay. A bunch of my coworkers caught onto what happened, and are now making it very difficult to work with them.

Apparently Q was a popular person in the office and they felt that complaining to the head of HR was taking it too far. This entire situation feels utterly surreal and I can’t think of any reason why I’d be the a**hole, but I’m facing an uncomfortable work situation and want to know if I need to apologize and smooth things over.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

max_advice −  If Q had behaved appropriately they would never have gotten suspended. It’s probably worth noting to the higher ups that this report got spread which is creating a hostile work environment for you.. NTA

jewraffe5 −  NTA – Q was shockingly unprofessional and out of line. Actually surprised they got suspended though, but I think I’m just used to s**tty HR departments not doing anything. Also a “hostile work environment” is an HR member calling you out to talk privately in front of your coworkers…

CajunKC −  NTA unbelievable! You did the right thing. It wasn’t Qs soapbox to get on and it doesn’t matter what the medication was for. It was a prescribed medication meant to be taken at a certain time. That’s all Q needs to know and, frankly, Q doesn’t even need to know that much. Replace bipolar disorder with any other medical condition; diabetes, heart condition; and it is just outrageous behavior!

[Reddit User] −  Let’s be real; they said they were gonna f**k you over. You fucked them over first. That’s not an a**hole move. That’s an uno reverse and they had it coming

dog_star_ −  NTA, you had to protect yourself from Q who sounds like they’re very unsuited for their job. It seems apparent they have some personal biases with the “wrecking your body” comment and if these biases might be something to do with their religious beliefs overriding your medical needs you’ve actually done everyone that has to work with them a favor.

I don’t really understand how everyone else found out about the details here. This should have all been handled confidentially and if Q is the one who told everyone what happened they should be fired. If you told everyone what happened that might have been a mistake although it probably seemed like the natural thing to do as Q made it obvious something happened between you.

Hopefully it will blow over soon. The idea of having to be on camera nonstop for two hours is ridiculous anyway. What happens when someone has to go to the bathroom? But that’s another topic.. Anyway, maybe Q will Quit.

[Reddit User] −  **NTA**. The clue bat for me was when you were accused of creating a “hostile work environment.” That is a *very* specific phrase in HR-land, and by using it against you, the implication was that you were being gunned for by at least one person in HR to have you fired. Good on you for covering your b**t!

BlairIsTired −  NTA and report your other coworkers for retaliation

panicattackcity91 −  NTA at all, I’d also have another word with head of hr about people making it hard to work as they’ve found out about your complaint, in the uk things like that are extremely frowned upon and a complaint is supposed to confidential, Q telling people would be in breach of that meaning they have now created a hostile work environment for yourself.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. There’s a lad with diabetes at my office and he’s made sure those around him know where his insulin jab is in case someone needs to plonk it in his backside (I was not listening very well).

Medication is medication, it shouldn’t matter what you’re taking, how you’re taking it and when you take it. If it helps you live a better, pain-free and healthier life, your employer should do all they can to make you feel free and safe to take it. Even if it means taking a pills during a meeting, or bending over and getting an emergency shot (again, wasn’t listening, literally no idea what to do in a diabetemergency)

InannasPocket −  NTA. Her own actions got her suspended. Because what she did was unprofessional, unacceptable, almost certainly against company policy, and had it gone further might have exposed the company to legal ramifications under ADA laws.. She fucked up, not you.

Was she right to defend herself against the HR accusations, or did escalating the situation create unnecessary workplace drama? Should employees with medical conditions be entitled to privacy, even in virtual workspaces? What would you have done in her shoes? Share your thoughts in the comments!