AITA for hiding embarrassing notes in my house as a joke because I know my fiance’s mom snoops?

A Redditor (female) is dealing with her fiancé’s mom, who frequently snoops around her house. To make a point about her privacy being violated, she wrote a series of humorous and over-the-top “affirmation” notes and hid them around the house. When her fiancé’s mom found them, she confronted him about how strange and unstable the notes seemed. The Redditor admits to doing it partly to annoy her, but she also feels that her fiancé should stop enabling the snooping. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for hiding embarrassing notes in my house as a joke because I know my fiance’s mom snoops?’

I bought a house seven years ago and I met my fiance, Al, four years ago This year he moved in. We’re talking about making it a home for both of us. But as of now, he hasn’t moved much stuff in, right now 95% of the stuff and furniture in the house is mine.

When his mom comes over, she’s kind of a snoop. He was used to that, but when she comes to our house, it’s so uncomfortable because she’s just going through my s**t. When I am bothered, she’s like “I was just helping with chores” etc. He says I should just let her because she has “a lot of nervous energy”

One thing she snooped on was actually embarrassing. In my home office, I had a little “affirmation” post it note on my monitor saying “I am smart, I am skilled, I am deserving of great things” It was a silly thing my therapist recommended to get me in a confident mindset before an interview.

Anyway, she made a comment to about my ego… But as a joke, I decided to do it again. I had my best friend over and we got wine drunk and wrote a bunch of “affirmations” to hide.. Some were:

Medicine cabinet: My teeth will regrow! I am sharklike and powerful!

Kitchen drawers: I know when to spoon, but I also know when to fork! I am sexy and self assured!

Work desk: I will not just f**k my way to the top of the company, I will f**k my way to the top of the world!

Walk in closet: I am beautiful with clothes and without! Especially without! My b**bs are legendary!

There were a bunch more, and my friend and I had a hilarious time writing them. Next time my MIL came over she saw a few. And she didn’t acknowledge them to me even though she definitely started acting a little weird about me.

I went to run some errands and when I was out, she confronted Al about the notes and was trying to tell him that I seemed unstable, egotistical, and moving in was a bad idea. She showed him the notes and he didn’t really know what to make of it.

He asked me and I said that they were just some silly private notes to boost my self confidence and make myself laugh; how had she gotten them? Had she been going through my things?

He said she was just tidying, and saw them. And they were real weird. I was like ‘have you met me? You should know how weird I am. Anyway if you don’t want your mom seeing my weird s**t you’ve got to stop letting her go through my s**t”

He asked if I left them on purpose to annoy her, and I admitted that was kinda the joke, but I also have other weird or private s**t so what I said about her needing to stop snooping if she didn’t want to find weird crap was still for real.

He said I was making stuff hard for him, his mom was really protective and adjusting to him moving in with a girlfriend for the first time, and I was agitating her on purpose and making her think I wouldn’t be a good partner, when he wanted her to have the opposite impression of me!. AITA for the note prank?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

gw2kpro −  NTA. Don’t ask Al’s mom to stop going through your s**t. Tell her she is not allowed to go through your s**t.. Ever. If that doesn’t sit well, maybe she won’t come over any more.. Either way, you win.

Darkrai_35 −  Walk in closet: I am beautiful with clothes and without! Especially without! My boobs are legendary! The kind of energy I needed today. NTA. Also… it’s really creepy Al’s mom is looking through all your stuff and then Al saying it’s just what she does?

Like, what is she looking for? Why does it not bother him that his mother is finding stuff in his fiancé’s house and then telling him about it all shocked and disturbed as if what she is doing is any less shocking and disturbing??

0biterdicta −  NTA. Don’t marry the guy who can’t set the simple boundary with his mom of “don’t snoop through the house”. He’s choosing his mom over you.

urson_black −  NTA. Al’s Mom is a snoop, and deserves whatever agitation she gets from your notes. Al should support you in maintaining your privacy in **YOUR** home.

GreenVenus7 −  Your next affirmation can be “I am NTA and I am hilarious”

YourMom_Infinity −  NTA. Your house, you put what you like where. The next time this woman comes over to your house, sit her down and tell her “You are not allowed to snoop through my s**t.” If she wanders off somewhere you follow her and remind her “You are not allowed to snoop through my s**t.”

Leave a bunch of notes around reminding her “You are not allowed to snoop through my s**t.” If your boyfriend has a problem with his mother not being allowed to snoop through your s**t, tell him “Your mother is still not allowed to snoop through my s**t.”

finkplamingoes −  NTA, this is hilarious and I want to be your friend. But on a more serious note, I don’t like your boyfriend’s blind defense of his mom at the expense of your boundaries and privacy.

He needs to take your requests seriously, communicate them to his mom, and enforce consequences if she continues. If he’s not able to do that, I’d think long and hard about the future of your relationship.

Petapotomus −  NTA — You Are Wonderful! You are Fun and You Have a Great Sense of Humor! A couple GIANT dildos and a few bottles of lube might be fun to hide around the house as well.

happytiara −  This is hilarious – but mate you have a pretty crappy boyfriend. does her “nervous energy” ever translate to her scrubbing your loo? And if your bf can set a basic and simple boundary now , just imagine what will happen if you get married and have kids?? Run away girl !

ColloidalSylver −  NTA. Your MIL started off crossing boundaries, moved on to being ableist (criticizing you for something to help with your mental health, recommended by a therapist, and making assumptions about your ego because of it), and is now trying to sabotage your relationship because you made her aware of the fact that her behavior was unacceptable.

The note prank wasn’t even that weird. The statements are clearly jokes and not meant to be taken seriously, and she knows that. She’s pretending to take them seriously so that she can alienate her son from you and retain her sense of ownership over him.

This is all about control games, and the first test of how much control she could retain over him and extend onto you was the initial snooping. When you stood up to her, she made you her enemy, and if she’s going to remain this entangled with Al you’re in for a long, hard road with zero support.

Sometimes humor is a way to reclaim your space, but did this prank go too far? Should the Redditor have handled her frustration with the snooping differently? Share your thoughts below!